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Jumping the Porch

It has happened. Ann Coulter has become, not the bleeding edge of conservative thought or the mouthpiece of NeoCon dogma but the old crazy man down the street. The guy who sits on his front porch all day waiting for a reason to scream at an unsuspecting passer-by who've accidentally transgressed and then found themselves chastised loudly for committing an imaginary infraction conjured up in the mind of a demented fool.

The neighbors used to dislike and quite possibly fear him... now there's only room for pity and some bewildered amusement.

Clinton's vice president, Al Gore, lost an election that should have been his in a walk. In fact, he was the first incumbent president or vice president in 100 years to lose an election in peacetime with a good economy. Mind you, that was before we even knew that Gore was a deranged conspiracy theorist who believes the Earth is in serious peril from cow flatulence.

(...)

As election predictors go, the Dow Jones has been remarkably accurate. If the Dow goes up from the end of July to the end of October, the incumbent president or vice president wins; if it goes down, the incumbent loses. It has been wrong only four times since the Dow was created in 1896.

Thus, on Nov. 1, 2000, an article in The New York Times began: "The verdict of the Dow Jones industrial average is in, and it says Al Gore is headed for the White House."

And yet Gore lost. It was only the third time in more than a century that the Dow went up in the three months before the election and the incumbent lost. The two other times were: (1) Herbert Hoover in the middle of the Great Depression, and (2) Hubert Humphrey in the middle of the Vietnam War. (The only time the Dow went down and the incumbent won anyway was for popular Dwight Eisenhower.)

Honey, Gore lost because the system was manipulated. By your "strict constitutionalists" on the Supreme Court, the RNC machine and most of all... by that fucked up state you can't even vote in properly. Clinton, although the champion of many mistakes, was not the reason Gore lost.

Basic Math

Dear Hillary,

This, is not a tie. No amount of mathematical manipulation will make it so.

For what it's worth to you, the pundits and your campaign staff, you also, did.not.win the rural vote. Your husband did. We all appreciate his participation and voice but really honey, he ain't runnin', you are and though it's neat that you got to be First Lady for 8 years... your years of "service" as an elected official is still less than the other two candidates running. Making up facts isn't a sign of strength, it's Bushesque in nature.

Be gracious. Unless the DLC takes over and manipulates the conditions, thus erradicating the popular vote and futher disenfranchising the populace, you don't have a prayer. Really.

huffer

"I'd rally lak ta comment on that last question but this odor's distracting".

All Pump And No Oil

Uplifting words of wisdom for these trying times.

These are tough times. People -- economists can argue over the terminology. And these are difficult times. And the American people know it, and they want to know whether or not Congress knows it. I think an important signal to send on energy, just like I said, is to say, okay, we're going to go find oil here at home.

Now don't you feel better? Everything will get better once we start drilling ANWR. All we need is the opportunity to explore the tender, delicate frozen tundra for some of that Texas tea and your American dream will once again bloom, grow. That magical picket fence used to corral your 2.5 children will spring forth from the ground and once again it will be Morning in America.

ain't heavy, he's a mutha

State of the Union

* America has the best health care in the world, it's just unaffordable, unobtainable and unethical.

* Every vote counts, except for the exceptions which could be enough to shift the balance of power. Again, we choose the low road.

* The most viable and exceptional candidate can be irreparably damaged by a single raving lunatic with a yet undisclosed agenda. You get what you pay for in a sound-bite culture.

* Watching the media cover the "important" aspects of the 2008 sElection is akin to 5 year olds playing soccer... everyone rushes the ball at once and no one's paying attention to the strategy, goal or the larger field of play.

* American infrastructure, citizen health and the climate are all distractions from the greater challenge we face from terror in Iraq where our shrinking dollars are going exclusively, to rebuild that oasis in the Middle East. Gotta have priorities.

* Matters of policy, international relations, the economy are secondary to the importance of flag pins.

Time for a good sheep shearing.

...and then there were still two.

Even as she celebrated, Senator Clinton acknowledged the challenges ahead, not the least of them Senator Obama's financial advantage. She implored her supporters to log onto her fund-raising website and "and show your support tonight because the future of this campaign is in your hands". Three hours after her win, her campaign said she had raised nearly $US3 million.

Mark 2:22:

And no man putteth new wine into old bottles: else the new wine doth burst the bottles, and the wine is spilled, and the bottles will be marred: but new wine must be put into new bottles.

Yeah doth the old guard regain Joementum. Blessed is she who rips asunder the rare cohesion of the progressives. Unto the McBush do the spoils go. Amen.

No Habla

Mistransamalating realtime from illegalimmigrantish to English is hard.

Not Bitter, Uniquely Flavored

Of course Americans in small towns are bitter.

The jobs are gone and WalMart took em. Price of fuel is so high running machinery and trucking one's ass to the next town to get nails, bolts, milk and coffee will break you. As will the inflation on the goods purchased. The local hospital's twenty plus miles away if you're lucky and only staffed by a shoe-string crew due to the high cost of administrative overhead. The local co-op has been killed by Monsanto and ConAgra. The creeks are drying up and shipping in water will kill any hope of profit. The government wants to subsidize you to either not plant or plant only corn for corn syrup (population fattening agent) or ethanol (cheating other nations from the opportunity to buy food) while they tout you as the reason to eliminate the inheritance tax.. not that you had anything left to inherit. Hell yeah you're bitter. Hunting is the only fairly inexpensive amusement left and it puts food on the table.

It may not sound pretty and the overwhelming aspect may get lost in the nuance but the facts remain, the middle class, the small town America (and the dream) are all dying a slow painful death while corporate welfare continues to suck at the government's teat.

Brought to you by a healthy dose of no-fucking-shit.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

It's always 'Talk Like a Pirate Day" on the Straight Talk Express.

Repugnant Republic

Just Sayin'

Patented Paradox

* BillO believes that only he is entitled to freedom of speech and expression.

* Abstinence education works like a charm.

* 81%? With an increase in unemployment, lower job creation, higher fuel costs etc.. how could they be so disillusioned?

* The only way to win is to cheat and intimidate.

* Reason #65875054 why separation of church and state is important. The ignorance is contagious and a quarantine is warranted.

* Reckless. The war vet who dry-humps a warmonger refers to planned withdrawl from a failed war of choice as reckless?

* Do YOU have Republicans living on your street? Think of the children.

* For profit. Your government and the lives of your fellow citizens are all for sale to some degree.

Why Change Horses Mid-Apocalypse?

...but, he was the right man for the job.

Mark Penn has been pushed out as chief strategist of Sen. Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign after his work on a Colombian free-trade agreement that Clinton opposes, sources tell ABC News.

Sources said that the Clintons were angry to learn about Penn's work, especially because they had been told that Penn had recused himself from controversial clients and would restrict his private work.

(...)

The work a Burson Marsteller subsidiary did for controversial war contractor Blackwater, and Penn's work for the union-busting corporation Cintas were other instances in which the Clinton campaign didn't appreciate having its name associated with Penn clients.

But it was a bridge too far for Penn when Sen. Hillary Clinton heard the news that Penn had met with the Colombians on the trade deal.

Columbians are a bridge too far... mixing messages with mercenary contractors and union buster are "not appreciated" or easier to overlook and not nearly as big of a concern for Hillary as she promotes "change"?

Palpable hypocrisy.

QOTD - Senior Moments

If...

"We are no longer staring into the abyss of defeat, and we can now look ahead to the genuine prospect of success," McCain said.

"The dramatic reduction in violence has opened the way for a return to something approaching normal political and economic life for the average Iraqi," McCain said.

Then... each time McCain's told us how much Iraq's improved over the last ~5 years, he's been lying? We've been chronically optically fixated on a cluster fuck while being sold a staid course of accomplished missions?

The Horror.

Pry It Baby

Pry it quickly from his cold dead fingers before it's all turned into Soylent Green.

Pickups

It's called, a MAH-sahge... just axe Merkel-baby.

Not At All, Qualified.

People willing to declare the following, are not qualified nor should they ever attempt to speak on, about or to, race.

Here's a little inside scoop about white people: We're not thinking about you. Especially WASPs. We think everybody is inferior, and we are perfectly charming about it.

Even if this statement was ment in jest, it has an element of truth, and justifies the precise reason we need more vigorous and open discussion on race in America. It is not only needed desperately but required for us to evolve more effectively, together.

We's Us

"Right now, among all the primary states, believe it or not, Hillary's only 16 votes behind in pledged delegates," said Bill Clinton, "and she's gonna wind up with the lead in the popular vote in the primary states. She's gonna wind up with the lead in the delegates [from primary states]."

"It's the caucuses that have been killing us," he added.

Funny, I thought caucuses were made up of voters and that the voters weren't voting for the "Us" ticket. It might be beneficial to look at the overall popular vote count while you're tallying... that's killing "yousuns" too.

It makes more sense, now.

Thinking of You

Honoring our war dead... ignoring still, the other casualties; marriages, limbs, sight, mobility, finances etc.

And I guess (guess? GUESS?) my one thought I wanted to leave with those who still hurt is that one day (in the never fucking happen future) people will look back at this moment in history and say, (Jane, you ignorant slut) thank God there were courageous people willing to serve (pawns in my failed experiment), because they laid the foundations for peace (through warfare, hypocrisy, hubris and waste) for generations to come; that I have vowed in the past, (which I'm doomed to repeat) and I will vow so long as I'm President, (8 more long bloody months (unless McCain gets it)) to make sure that those lives were not lost in vain ( too late), that, in fact, there is a outcome that will merit the sacrifice that civilian and military alike have made ( and we're still working on what that desired outcome really looks like as we consistently remeasure with our sliding scale of ineptitude); that our strategy going forward will be aimed at making sure that we achieve victory ( Mission F'ing Accomplished) and, therefore, America becomes more secure ( because we're watching YOU) and these young democracies survive (better than the one I'm destroying at home), and peace more likely as we head into the 21st century ( ignoring the lack of peace distributed liberally all over the middle east throughout the first 10% of the 21st century).

Maintaining the trajectory having forgotten to change the batteries in the GPS, Bush continues to self delude that he carries the greatest burden as he cheapens the lives lost and continues to undermine our status internationally.

Buffoon.