CNN/Reuters: News reports have filtered out early this morning that US forces have swooped down on an Iraqi Primary School and captured 6th Grade teacher Mohammed Al-Hazar. Sources indicate that, when arrested, Al-Hazar was in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a geo-board, base-ten blocks, algebra tiles, a computer, a data projector, and a graphing calculator.
George W. Bush proclaimed that this was clear and overwhelming evidence that Iraq indeed possessed weapons of math instruction.