Panel Determines Immediate Solution to 9/11 Failure
(AP) Washington DC
Today's announcement of the results of the 9/11 Commission will bring about a drastic future change in the way government reacts to terrorism threats within the US borders. A specialized team of forensic, genetic and military experts will be formed, to research the use of pre-cognitive intervention to safeguard the Homeland. It is estimated that by 2010 a fully functional facility covering the Washington DC area will be in operation.
An unnamed source from within the NSA was quoted as saying, "We hope will be able to meet our objective, however without the use of pre-cognitive vision, we can't be positive". Early reports from Capitol Hill indicate a large majority of representatives on both sides of the aisle are commited to spending no less that $220 billion dollars over the next 5 years to the project. Speaking on behalf of the Senate Majority leader a source stated, "If we spend even half of what we've invested in Iraq on 'Operation Mind Missle Shield', it still won't be enough".
The President has committed his full support, adding the caveat, "Keep those things outta Crawford...... I seen that, 'Minority' movie".
Posted by kerry at July 23, 2004 03:01 AM | TrackBack