(AP) Iraq: Speaking on conditions of complete and total anonymity and from an underground bunker somewhere in the region formerly known as Mesopotamia, an unidentified source has provided evidence that both house to house fighting in Fallujah and surgical precision bombing in Baghdad may have led to the destruction of countless copies of the Holy Koran. Instances of the holy book being knocked to the floor and oftentimes jostled in such a way as to cause them temporary toilet residence, were significantly overshadowed by the vast number that instantly combusted along with their respective owners, when temperatures in the houses exceeded 451 degrees fahrenheit.
Sources close to the White House have indicated that investigations are underway to provide asbestos book covers to the entire Iraqi population to avoid this type of loss in future sorties. Out of a diplomatic respect for equality in religious expression, all efforts possible will be made to divert gunfire and other explosives, away from holy text and keep it on the populace at large. At the behest of the White House, Newsweek will be issuing a special edition Cliff Notes release of the Koran in English to be distributed across the vast Iraqi plains of democracy on the next APO run.
Posted by kerry at May 18, 2005 07:43 AM | TrackBack