The first in what appears to be a 10-part series (who's running out of things to say?), Motel 6's most prolific author and big game hunter, shares his view on what it takes to be a loser. We all need helpful hints from those more talented than ourselves from time to time. Let's check in on Dougie's corner of reality.
The large losers that I have met have rarely, if ever, touched the bible. They couldn’t care less if some of the greatest and most benevolent people in history were serious believers. To develop the Disaster Master Mind©, convince yourself that the Old and New Testaments are unsubstantiated fairy tales written by a bunch of men a bazillion years ago, and that it’s irrelevant for modern times—that is, according to your undergrad philosophy teacher. To assure your decline in life, I would never pray, read the scripture or remotely follow any of its teachings. As a matter of fact, if you really want to muck up your life, do the opposite of what it says. Develop a deep disdain for anything divine. Y’know what else would be good? Start a blog devoted to ridiculing God, Christ and Christianity. Yeah, that’s it. Do that for a while and see what happens.
I'd much rather devote a blog to ridiculing those biblical literalists who feel it's their calling to judge other with vast and unsubstantiated sweeping generalizations.
As for following biblical teachings, the administration appears to be allowed to pick and choose to suit their needs. Let's play along at home.
Leviticus 12:1-5 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, 2 Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days; according to the days of the separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean. 3 And in the eighth day the flesh of his foreskin shall be circumcised. 4 And she shall then continue in the blood of her purifying three and thirty days; she shall touch no hallowed thing, nor come into the sanctuary, until the days of her purifying be fulfilled. 5 But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her separation: and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six days.
It's not what's *IN* the bible, it's what you do with it.
Matthew 21:12-13 And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, 13 And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.
Course now, it's all televised... but the song remains the same. Like when ministers offer DVDs of their hunting exploits.