A few weeks back, my 3 year old wanted a fruit roll-up. One of those freakishly technicolor food-like concoctions that seem to attract kids like flies to shit. He fussed, he cajoled, he negotiated, he had a real meal first, anything to get that fruit roll-up.
I got the box down from the top shelf and while unwrapping it, I told him, take small bites. Just eat a little bit at a time. He proceeded to fold it up into one big wadish square and shoved the whole thing in his mouth at once. As with most substances, increased thickness reduces ones ability to tear or in this case, chew.
The wad of roll-up appeared to almost increase in size as he chewed furiously and the enormous size caused a unavoidable rainbow flood of spit as he couldn't close his mouth. About 5 minutes of vigorous chewing he started to get a funny look on his face and apparently tried to swallow. The wad in his mouth, being contiguous, defied gravity and refused to go down, causing some nasty gagging. The color-wheel of processed food stuffs was spat out and a little "uuuugh" was uttered, followed by a "that.was.gross". Sum total of fruit roll-up actually consumed, zero.
In reading Billmon's piece on our behaviour with regards to Iraq, their democracy and the hurdles yet to leap or even encounter, all I could think of was my kid and his fruit roll-up. Bush, in his eagerness to nosh down his war has created an equally nauseous situation and, I'm waiting for that moment when he starts to gag, tossing back up a fully masticated, undigested, and malformed wad of hubris and simply walk away with a disgusted look on his face.
Posted by kerry at July 25, 2005 08:13 AM