100 monkeys typing.

Ah, 2005 we're going to miss ya

As both vacation and the year near their inevitable ends, reflection is required. What a year its been, eh? Citizen spying, government leaks/cover-ups, raging deficit, call-boy embeds, Bill O'Reilly's sex scandal, NeroBush fiddling while New Orleans flooded, lobbyists with a 10,000 to 1 influence ratio over the average voter, and friggin' xmas came to Whoville anyway, what's not to miss?

Nothing sums up the theme of 2005's successes like Bush being honest (see: cock-sure arrogance).

"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda," Bush said in explaining his communications strategy last May.

As we "catapult" into 2006, what's in store?

* From the man who maneuvered CSX into a tax exempt status and then himself into a cushy job with the treasury, we find he's not as sucessful with *our* money. Tax and Spend Republicans (meme for 2006) Prepare yourself for the new Chinese overlords.

* A Roots Revival, because it's important to save babies and eliminate their social safety net simultaneously and don't forget marriage. Without retention of the sanctity of marriage, it's a slippery slope to gulag detention centers, KGB style surveillance and a lack of accountabilty between branches of government. It's up to you to do your part.

* Iraq will lose popularity (see: Afghanistan). Another country will need to be threatened. I recommend Cuba as we could do it in a weekend but Syria might be nice. Iran's a toughie and if we can't get Israel to assist with their nukes against Iran's nukes... success won't be the slam dunk we've come to expect from this administration. Or.... maybe we could continue spending valuable tax dollars keeping an eye on PETA, Quakers and Gay Marriage advocates while Osama still consumes oxygen. Seems easier and makes em look busy, don't it?

* Jesus will come back. It'll be done quietly, he'll look around, notice that the majority of his "peeps" are nutjobs and realize an eternity with them would be hell. He'll go home empty handed, amused that the FBI and DHS were too busy infiltrating anti-war peace protests to notice his illegal immigration.

* Intelligent design will reign supreme just in time for the bird flu pandemic. Christians everywhere will flock to their pharmacies seeking relief from the miracles of scientific research to go on fighting another day, for the 'we don't come from monkeys' cause. Power to the underenlightened!

* It'll beome a crime to disclose over-reaching government behavior but the behavior will be justifiable.

Independent Thought, Declared Archaic.

As you raise your champagne flutes come 11:59 Saturday night, take a few seconds to reflect on lucky we are to be Americans, and how fortunate we are to have a man like George W. Bush at the helm of our great nation.

As our friend Sean Hannity says - George Bush is the right man at the right time.

On the bright side of it all, the key indicator of economic improvement will continue to be the ever evolving list of companies on the DJIA and S&P 500 while the plummeting numbers in the home equity sector goes unnoticed.

Bottoms up, y'all!

Posted by kerry at December 31, 2005 02:45 AM