JE.SUS Christ... son, were you born in a barn? Oh, wait. Nevermind, I'll get the door.
* Science in Texas will now be one credit hour and the TAKS test will consist of one question; "How many days did it take God to create the Universe?" Extra credit point; "How long did he rest and he boned Eve with which body part of Adam's?"
* The only war America's going to win under current leadership is the one on Jesusmas.
* Even despite the bad rap... Peter was Principled.
* Even Putin's probably somewhere shaking his head going... Daaaaaaaaaang, man, at least my iron fist gets respect.
* Neat, Congress now has to enact legislation to ban acts previously considered be torture, reprehensible and been justification for convictions and war crimes in the past.
* Whatsoever you do unto the least of these my bretheren...