August 26, 2001

Lazy Sunday just listening to

Lazy Sunday just listening to Netradio and finally completed the disclaimer. What a bear! Saw "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" this afternoon. I still haven't quit laughing. Damn, that Kevin Smith's a genius. Off now to soak in what's left of the weekend before being sucked into the void that is work

Posted by kerry at 05:41 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 12, 2001

This text may contain

This text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable; parental guidance is advised. Keep away from sunlight, no money down, slippery when wet.

A consumer credit report may be requested in conjunction with this application or in connection with updates, renewals, or extensions of any credit granted as a result of this application. Member F.D.I.C. Keep away from pets.

This offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted, and no purchase is necessary; however, entries must be postmarked by October 11. Some assembly required.

Action figures sold separately, no preservatives added, and there is a substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Use only with proper ventilation,keep away from open flame, and do not inhale fumes. At participating stores. Slightly higher west of the Rockies, and you must be 18 to enter, licensed drivers only. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. Dealer prep extra; batteries not included. Sold for industrial use only.

If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself; return to an authorized service center or send prepaid to manufacturer. You need not be present to win. Please allow four to six weeks for delivery; no salt added. Taxes are not included and the price is plus tax plus your old tires. This offer expires at midnight, December 31, member FSLIC. All sales final, all rights reserved, and prices subject to change without notice. Keep out of the reach of children, limit one-per-family please. Call before you dig.

Quantities are limited while supplies last; not street legal in some states. Offer good only in the U.S.A. Prices and mileage may vary; hardware and instructions are included and wattages stated are maximum recommended. Sorry, no C.O.D.s.

This product is guaranteed to be free of any physical defects, design flaws, and poor workmanship. Misuse or abuse invalidates the guarantee. Product must be used only for its intended purpose and in accordance with manufacturer's specific warning. Read and follow label instructions. Any amount paid is not refundable with proof of purchase (UPC) and cashier's receipt showing date and place of purchase with the amount paid for this product encircled.

This message is intended for the private use of our readers and any reproduction, rebroadcast, or any other accounts of this message without the prior written consent of the National Football League is strictly prohibited. Check local zoning laws before ordering; slightly enlarged to show detail. We make no warranty, either expressed or implied, including, but not limited to, any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose, regarding these materials, and make such materials available solely on an "as is" basis. Close cover before striking.

For external use only and .occupancy by over ten persons is prohibited by the Fire Marshall and the laws of this state. If a rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue use. Pat. pending, Reg. U.S. Pat. Off Copyrighted, trademark on file with the Federal Trade Commission, and failure to reduce speed so as to avoid collision with any vehicle on, near, or entering the highway is in violation of I.C.C. 9-4-1-57(a). Tumble dry only.

The sole and exclusive liability, regardless of the form of action, shall not exceed the purchase price of the materials described herein. Do not exceed recommended dosage and those who brought you this message are solely responsible for its content. Which, by the way, contains NO sodium, carbohydrates, or polyunsaturated fats; it is LOW in sugar and is caffeine free. Before using consult your doctor. Tested and rated by Underwriter's Laboratories; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool, dry place. No artificial colors or flavorings have been added; hard hat and safety goggles are required. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone regardless of race, creed, color, or national origin, and we are not responsible for lost articles or personal property, public or private. You break it, you bought it! Do not place near a magnetic source.

Recommended for adults over 21 only and in no event shall we be liable to anyone for specific, collateral, incidental, or consequential damages in conjunction with or arising out of purchase or use of these materials. Some restrictions apply. Do not use if safety seal is broken. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental . This warranty gives you specific legal rights which vary from state to state. Sorry, we cannot be responsible for errors in typing, typography, or photography. The possibility of electrical shock does exist if you remove the cover and leave any of the devices plugged in and/or turned on. Be sure to unplug the device from the power outlet and clean only with a soft, dry cloth. Keep away from moisture, rain, snow, gloom of night, and so forth. User assumes full responsibility.

The surgeon General of the United States has warned that smoking this product could be hazardous to your health and that the best safeguard, second only to abstinence , is the use of a condom. Except as provided herein, no employee, agent, franchisee, dealer, or other person is authorized to give any warranties of any nature. Some states do not allow the limitation or exclusion of incidental or consequential damages, so the above may not apply to you.

We make no warranty as to the design, capability, capacity, or suitability for use except as provided in this paragraph. Do not fold, mutilate, or spindle. Money orders or cashier's check's only. Terms and specifications may change without notice. All returns must be accompanied with a Credit Return Authorization number on shipping carton.

To avoid accidental erasure, remove appropriate tab or cover write-protect notch with tape. No part of this message covered by the copyright herein may be reproduced or copied in any form or by any means - graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, information storage and retrieval systems - without written permission of the author and publisher.

No admittance by anyone under 17 unless accompanied by an adult. Shut off engine. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling vapors. Do not clean with abrasives and do not use on suede, leather, vinyl, or plastic or allow to come in contact with paint finish or chrome. Information in this message is subject to change; see your representative for the latest information. An equal housing lender. Do not leave unattended. Live, except on the West Coast.

Connect ground wire to avoid shock. Do not remove protective covering. Price and availability subject to change. Four-week clearance on personal checks. Compatibility not guaranteed.

Add 3 percent for Visa and Mastercard, 5 percent for American Express. Texas residents add 8.25 percent sales tax. Color monitor not included. Do not remove protective cover. Do not remove this tag under penalty of law. Return shipments are subject to a restocking fee. Add 3 percent for shipping and handling. We reserve the right to substitute equivalent items. Bridge freezes before highway. Payment in U.S. currency only. Warranty does not cover accidental damage, misuse, misapplication, or damage resulting from modification or service other than an authorized service center. Minimum order $10.00; Some shipments subject to additional freight. Watch for fallen rock. An equal opportunity employer. No shoes, no shirt, no service.

The purpose of this warning is to advise service personnel that using anything but factory-specified components may affect the approval or safety of the unit. It is recommended that only direct replacement parts be used, and that extreme care be taken in servicing items in hazardous or potentially hazardous locations. UL approval requires that only the specified battery for which the unit was designed is used. Use of any other battery may invalidate UL listing. Substitute of components may impair intrinsic safety. Do not recharge mercury batteries and do not dispose of batteries in fire as an explosion may occur.

Furthermore, the purchase or use of this product or service shall not be deemed to grant either directly or by implication, estopped, or otherwise, any license under the normal nonexclusive royalty free license to use that arises by operation of law in the sale of a product.

CAUTION: Federal law prohibits the transfer of this product to any person other than the patient for whom it was prescribed. (Harmful if swallowed and minor allergic skin reaction may occur whether swallowed or administered to any portion of the body.) Take with food and milk. NOTE: This warning label may self-destruct and/or the paper on which it is printed can burn if placed in an environment capable of combustion (i.e., where oxygen and an ignition source are available). If this document/label should ignite, place in a nonflammable container, remove to a safe area, preferably out-of-doors, and either extinguish using methods approved by fire safety codes in your area and the State Fire Marshall's Office or cover container with a fireproof material to eliminate oxygen supply to burning substance.

Offer limited to one coupon per specified product. Any other application constitutes fraud. Reproductions will not be honored. If this document is burning, do not inhale fumes or permit smoke to get in your eyes nor should you touch the material at any time. We offer no extensions or exceptions to the manufacturer's warranty policies. All defective products shipped by us will be handled in accordance with the manufacturer's stated warranty terms in the owner's manual of the defective product.

We reserve the right to correct any shipping error. Any customer receiving an incorrect product, which is not the product ordered, must contact us within five working days after receiving the incorrect product to obtain return authorization. The product must be returned within twenty-one days. After receipt, the product will be promptly inspected to insure it is in "new condition." After inspection, we will promptly reship the product at our expense. Products shipped but not accepted will be refunded less a restocking fee of 10 percent of the original purchase price but not less than ten (10) dollars.

Second, shipping costs will also be deducted from the refund. We ship only NEW products; therefore, once a customer orders and accepts an order it cannot be returned for refund or credit, as it is then considered USED merchandise. To avoid danger of suffocation, do not use in cribs, beds, carriages, or playpens. this warranty does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake and other Acts of God, neglect, damage caused by improper installation, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized repair, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, blasting by mine crews, jack-hammering, or sonic boom vibrations and customer adjustment that are not covered in the instruction book.

Warranty valid only on products purchased and used in the United States. Warranty is NOT valid if incident occurs owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, or because of dropping item. This warranty does not cover fallen rock, leaky roof, broken glass, or mud slide, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta & Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). Liability for loss, delay, or damage to baggage is limited, unless a higher value is declared in advance and additional charges are paid. A coat, umbrella, pocketbook, camera, binoculars, infant food, and reading material for the trip are carried free and not included in the free baggage allowance. Baggage is subject to tariffs, including limitations of liability therein contained.

Passenger shall comply with government travel requirements, present exit and entry and other required documents, and arrive at airport by the time fixed by carrier or, if time is not fixed, early enough to complete departure procedures. No agent, servant, or representative of carrier has authority to alter, modify, or waive any provision of this contract. No merchandise will be accepted without a current return authorization number clearly shown on the outside of the package. Return authorizations are obtained through our Customer Relations Department.

"Lovely to look at, beautiful to hold; but if you break it, consider it sold." The user takes full responsibility for everything and anything that could and/or does go wrong resulting in any kind or type of problem, difficulty, embarrassment, loss of money or goods or services or sleep or anything else whatsoever. We are not responsible for lost articles. The preceding was a paid commercial announcement.

Posted by kerry at 12:08 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack