July 31, 2002

boy, I wish I had

boy, I wish I had his address...................

My name is Billy Evans. I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I'm so sick. I was born without a body. All I have is a head. It doesnít hurt, except when I try to breathe.

The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance.

I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesnít work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, "Donít cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad. I hope you will help me.

Please help me. You can help me if you forward this email to everyone you know. Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better then.

I love baseball. Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be third base.

Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true.

Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you're a mean and heartless communist who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death and then burn forever in hell. What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy? Do you hate all little boys who have no body or just me?

Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew on my ears and try to bury its turds in my burlap body. I wish that very much.

Thank You,

Billy "Smiles" Evans

P.S. You can send money to the person who sent you this because that person is very trustworthy.

Posted by kerry at 10:56 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

well golllllly, wonder how they

well golllllly, wonder how they got that contract?

Posted by kerry at 01:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 30, 2002

Jello Biafra was ahead of

Jello Biafra was ahead of his time.

Welcome to 1984
Are you ready for the third world war?!?
You too will meet the secret police
They'll draft you and they'll jail your niece

You'll go quitely to boot camp
They'll shoot you dead, make you a man
Don't you worry, it's for a cause
Feeding global corporations' claws

Die on a brand new poison gas
El Salvador or Afghanistan
Making money for President Reagan
And all the friends of President Reagan

Posted by kerry at 02:28 PM | Comments (0)

and our new ambassador to

and our new ambassador to Mexico is......................................

Posted by kerry at 01:55 PM | Comments (0)

July 25, 2002

killing Napster hurt telecommunications. Not

killing Napster hurt telecommunications.

Not totally, but it's a good theory.

Posted by kerry at 03:51 PM | Comments (0)

July 24, 2002

it is true, you can't

it is true,
you can't always get what you want.

but.................might get what you need.

Posted by kerry at 04:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 23, 2002

Which Peanuts Character Are

I am Charlie Brown
Which Peanuts Character Are You Quiz
Posted by kerry at 03:05 PM | Comments (0)

be a good citizen and

be a good citizen and report your neighbor for fun.

Posted by kerry at 03:02 PM | Comments (0)

oh yeah. that's definitely me.

oh yeah. that's definitely me.

Posted by kerry at 11:34 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

insert innuendo at will

insert innuendo at will

Posted by kerry at 10:38 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Per AP/Reuters: "At least 1,467

Per AP/Reuters:

"At least 1,467 Palestinians and 559 Israelis have been killed in the uprising that erupted after U.S.-brokered talks on Palestinian statehood in the West Bank and Gaza stalled. "

due to inflation, "an eye for an eye" has been increased to "2.6243 eyes for an eye"

Posted by kerry at 07:24 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Why does this seem to

Why does this seem to come as a surprise? Just read some history or the web equivalent of Cliff Notes.

Posted by kerry at 07:16 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 19, 2002

Love is in the air:

Love is in the air:
image 1
image 2

Posted by kerry at 03:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

So much for 'Freedom'. Take

So much for 'Freedom'.

Take a moment and protest the next step in the wave of governmental crackdowns.

Posted by kerry at 11:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 18, 2002

Entertaining guests over the weekend,

Entertaining guests over the weekend, we went to the Sixth Floor Book Depository. I'm still not sure what they're actually commemorating:

Had I known, they did not allow any photography whatsoever, I'm not sure I would have been as eager to shell out my $10.

Posted by kerry at 11:31 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What's criminal, is the hair.

What's criminal, is the hair.

Posted by kerry at 11:13 AM | Comments (0)

July 17, 2002

Shouldn't JEB now be forced

Shouldn't JEB now be forced out of his public housing?

Posted by kerry at 02:48 PM | Comments (0)

July 15, 2002

We miss the Soviet Union

We miss the Soviet Union so much,............

We've brought it home.

Update: Apparently the USPS are not participating. This is unfortunate. They had the perfect chance to profile me..........I got terrorist mail this week.

Posted by kerry at 11:22 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 12, 2002



Posted by kerry at 06:30 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 11, 2002

I love this! Sent: Sunday,

I love this!

Sent: Sunday, July 07, 2002 3:32 AM
Subject: Time Travelers PLEASE HELP!!!

If you are a time traveler or alien and or in possession of government or alien technology I need your help! My entire life and health has been messed with by evil beings! If you have access to the carbon copy replica model #50 3000 series, the dimensional warp, temporal reversion or something similar please reply! I simply need the safest method of transferring my consciousness or returning to my younger self with my current mind/memory.

I need an advanced time traveler to work with who can help me, I would prefer someone with access to teleportation as well as a variety different types of time travel.

This is not a joke! I am serious! Please send a separate email to me at: Dragonball03@aol.com if you can help!


Posted by kerry at 08:25 AM | Comments (0)

July 10, 2002

Google! DayPop! This is my

Google! DayPop! This is my blogchalk: English, United States, Dallas, Casa Linda, kerry, Male, 31-35!

Posted by kerry at 10:00 PM | Comments (0)

spare the tree and spoil

spare the tree and spoil the child?

Posted by kerry at 03:34 PM | Comments (0)

Bet his momma's proud.

Bet his momma's proud.

Posted by kerry at 08:00 AM | Comments (0)

July 09, 2002

Thank you

Thank you

Posted by kerry at 09:45 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Here's a thought: Always assume

Here's a thought:

Always assume you have no audience.
No audience means you cater to no one.
No stage fright, no second guessing....
and most importantly, no self-edit.

Posted by kerry at 04:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

War on............terror n 1: an

War on............terror
n 1: an overwhelming feeling of fear and anxiety [syn: panic]
2: a person who inspires fear or dread; "he was the terror of
the neighborhood" [syn: scourge, threat]
3: a very troublesome child [syn: brat, little terror, holy

not really hunt-able.

War on................evil
adj 1: morally bad or wrong; "evil purposes"; "an evil influence";
"evil deeds" [syn: wicked] [ant: good]
2: having the nature of vice [syn: depraved, vicious]
3: tending to cause great harm [syn: harmful, injurious]
4: having or exerting a malignant influence; "malevolent
stars"; "a malefic force" [syn: malefic, malevolent, malign]
n 1: morally objectionable behavior [syn: immorality, wickedness,
2: that which causes harm or destruction or misfortune: "the
evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft
interred with their bones"- Shakespeare
3: the quality of being morally wrong in principle or practice:
"attempts to explain the origin of evil in the world"
[syn: evilness] [ant: good, good]

also, not really something tangible ..........................or bomb-able

Let's go back to Infinite Justice, put a cross on our flag and start rounding people up. No more pussy-footing around with politically correct titles.

Posted by kerry at 04:26 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Double jail time? Ok. Let's

Double jail time? Ok. Let's retroactively investigate past "misdeeds" and expand the statute of limitations for fraud.

Posted by kerry at 09:24 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 08, 2002

Oil, Oil, everywhere and not

Oil, Oil, everywhere and not a drop to drink.

Posted by kerry at 03:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 05, 2002

Dear RIAA, Chasing potential customers

Dear RIAA,

Chasing potential customers is not the
best way to attract business.

Posted by kerry at 08:58 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack