July 31, 2003

Thursday Schmursday

What an articulate articulate man! We are honored to have him as a leader. Gosh golly gee whiz.....it just gives you goose bumps. Gays are sinners and America's lucky to have Condi Rice. Wow! That piece of staged drivel is ripe for the picking and I'm just too friggin' lazy to deconstruct it. It must suck to be in the White House press corps these days.

As a country, let's *really* support our troops. Ensure they can feed their families, pay their bills, save for college.... dump all elected officials that vote to cut back vet funding, period.

Timewasting is an art
-- 20 questions.
-- Visual fun for no real reason.
-- A toy for conference calls.

Posted by kerry at 10:33 PM | Comments (0)

July 30, 2003

No finer words

"I take personal responsibility for everything I say, absolutely". George W. Bush July 30th, 2003. Well hallelujah, better late than never. To accompany this stunning revelation, we have cross references and historical references.

Taking this declaration at face value:

"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."—St. Charles, Mo., Nov. 2, 2000

"Let me tell you my thoughts about tax relief. When your economy is kind of ooching along, it's important to let people have more of their own money."—Boston, Oct. 4, 2002

"My answer is bring them on."—On Iraqi militants attacking U.S. forces, Washington, D.C., July 3, 2003

"I don't bring God into my life to—to, you know, kind of be a political person."—Interview with Tom Brokaw aboard Air Force One, April 24, 2003

"One year ago today, the time for excuse-making has come to an end."—Washington, D.C., Jan. 8, 2003

"We need an energy bill that encourages consumption."—Trenton, N.J., Sept. 23, 2002

yep. I believe him.

Posted by kerry at 08:58 PM | Comments (1)

rules of the road

I need to get a copy of a purchase agreement for either a Lincoln Navigator, Cadillac Escalade or Chevy Tahoe. Somewhere there's just got to be a clause that requires the purchaser to be a complete asshat with no regard for their fellow man or at a minimum, be so competitive that, a Vespa @ 40MPH is considered to be a threat.

No less than 3 of these nasty-ass, gas-sucking behemoths felt so threatened by my presence on the road that they felt it necessary to run up my ass, cut over, and then all but nearly clip my front wheel whipping back into my lane. Minus a turn signal of course. What is up with this aberrant behaviour? I'm on a VESPA? You're in a sun-blocking tank? If I leave a red light and zip up to the speed limit, it's to stay out of your way. I'm not *racing* you. Get over your bad self and mature a little........... or I'm going to start posting your license plate numbers on the web.

Have a nice day.

Posted by kerry at 03:28 PM | Comments (4)

July 29, 2003

Cornucopia of mental leakings

Texas is at it again. I wish I could get hired into a job that let me manipulate my environment in such a way that it guaranteed me longevity. I don't necessarily approve of the flight approach but am equally opposed to the entire notion that this state needs to be redistricted each time a stiff breeze blows up DeLay's skirt. This kind of politicing shouldn't be left to the foxes who are raiding the state hen house but put to the people to decide if it's needed *then* we could get something closer to a view of needed vs desired.

Jimmy the Greek missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime. Terrorist futures and odds placement. Wow! Imagine the benefits of being a bookie in that industry. So, they've sacked the idea.......in it's place, is there a way we can put odds on Condi's career or at a minimum, is she an ignoramus or is she just playing one on TV?

Odds and Ends
-- Angry at your husband............answers here.
-- This tickled my funny bone.

Posted by kerry at 09:37 PM | Comments (2)

Customer Service

Dear SouthwesternBell (SBC),

Last night, when my wife hung up on your billing department after screaming, "You Suck!" into the phone, she was mad. Today, when she calls back, she'll be much more composed and articulate. Which means, the representative that gets today's call will not get off *nearly* as easily. I realize you are the phone company and don't *have* to care.......however, with 'set' billing that includes unlimited long distance plus DSL, there is no reason a bill should have a recurring monthly variance of $50+. It's a screaming pain in the ass to have to call you and "fix" our bill each month due to your incompetence. Remember, you're not the only selection on the menu and news about bad service travels exponentially faster than good news. You have been warned.

Have a nice day.

Posted by kerry at 04:26 PM | Comments (0)

sacred cow

If we truly held our flag in as high regard as our posturing electorate would have us believe ......would this not be an outrage? Wonder if this is one of the billions of little American flags China churns out in their massive sweatshops?

Posted by kerry at 02:32 PM | Comments (2)

July 28, 2003

MasterCard Moment

Automobile: $26K
Rear window: $300
Four fireman: % of property/sales taxes
Feeling you get when your child is released unharmed (yet shaken) from a locked car in the Texas summer heat: priceless.

A very valuable lesson about spare key storage was learned yesterday.

Posted by kerry at 05:18 PM | Comments (0)

July 25, 2003

Friday wrap-up

Well the boys are dead. We got em. We're hangin' em high......actually they're in cold storage, but who's counting. There's got to be a revenue generating idea in here somewhere. Can't we do a "Lenin-type" preservation on them and do a world tour? Call it US Threat Tour 2003 or simply the Don't Mess With Us When You're Sitting On That Much Oil Tour DMWUWYSOTMO for short.

Miscellaneous Politics
- Been swapping songs, expect a call?
- Dear Mr. VP, please answer the following questions.
- This just in................apparently Iraq didn't hit the WTC. Amazing.

Time Wasters
- Bubble wrap anyone?
- Staring makes it stop.
- Someone else is living my fantasy.
- Research heaven.

I may begin outsourcing content research for this site........qualified candidates are standing by.

Posted by kerry at 06:44 PM | Comments (0)

July 22, 2003

and the winner of the .............

Get a Fucking Life Award, goes to..................

The Counter-Clinton Library funders.

By DAVID HAMMER, Associated Press Writer

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. - Just a few blocks from the future site of Bill Clinton (news - web sites)'s $160 million presidential library, a couple of Clinton haters hope to open a museum devoted to mocking his presidency.

"As long as he's talking, we'll have to be here trying to keep him somewhat honest and stop him from rewriting history," says John LeBoutillier, a former Republican congressman from New York who rode Ronald Reagan (news - web sites)'s coattails to victory in 1980.

LeBoutillier and his partner, Houston businessman Richard Erickson, plan to call it the Counter-Clinton Library. They say the museum here and one planned for Washington will look at such topics as Whitewater, Monica Lewinsky, the last-minute pardons, even damaged White House furniture.

"We already hear he's going to bring a bunch of egghead economists to his library to say how great the economy was when he was president," LeBoutillier says. "And we'll find our own who can say it had nothing to do with him."

The two partners hope to open their place the same day that Clinton's opens in November 2004. They say they will need $5 million. LeBoutillier says thousands of donations have come in and the average one is $72, but he will not say exactly how much has been raised so far.

Dick Morris, the Clinton strategist who resigned in a sex scandal, has pledged stacks of his insider documents, as has Gary Aldrich, the former FBI (news - web sites) agent who wrote a best seller about Clinton's scandals.

"We think people will want to come out of the Clinton Library and head immediately down the street to us to get the rest of the story," LeBoutillier says.

In recent appearances, Clinton said that the big picture of his presidency is being obscured and that his library will set the record straight.

The designer of the Clinton museum, Ralph Appelbaum, said the place will deal with Clinton's impeachment, but will focus on how Clinton policies smoothed the political and technological transition into the 21st century and fostered unprecedented economic growth.

LeBoutillier — who once called the late House Speaker Tip O'Neill "fat, bloated and out of control, just like the federal budget" — says Clinton's library will require immediate rebuttal in a way that libraries of other scandalized ex-presidents do not.

"Reagan, Nixon, that's the past," he says. "The problem is Clinton's still young, he's the most powerful force in Democratic politics, and he would like nothing more than to erase the past so he can return to the White House with Hillary."

Skip Rutherford, president of the foundation paying for Clinton's library, says he had hoped for a political cease-fire.

"The haters don't have to like or agree with Clinton, but they need to acknowledge that only 43 men have done this — reached the pinnacle," he says. "I think they need to move on with their lives."

Posted by kerry at 11:23 PM | Comments (0)


AP - Baghdad Iraq

To offset the overwhelming cost of the invasion of Iraq, the White House has implemented budget savings initiatives. Effective immediately the following measure will be enacted. All contracts to rebuild Iraq will be suspended and the current allocated funding will be redistributed to combatant payrolls and to strengthen ground force armament.

The focus and responsibility of rebuilding Iraq has now been handed over to the Iraqi people with full UN sponsorship. The number one choice of building contractors has been chosen on the basis of; ease of assembly, overall cost, aesthetics and mobility. The new Iraq will be smaller in size and easier to manipulate.

Further developments in oil field managment and infrastructure work to be announced at a later date.

Posted by kerry at 09:36 PM | Comments (0)


-- Block the RIAA from your website.....it can't hurt and it's a fabulous idea.

-- Loose lips sink ships.....what does alternative reading material do?

-- Leave no legacy behind.

for amusement:
-- for the eyes
-- for the mind
-- for the soul
-- for the heart

Posted by kerry at 02:50 PM | Comments (0)


Texas' new redistricting map, courtesy of the Office of Rick Perry

Posted by kerry at 02:45 PM | Comments (0)

July 18, 2003

Holy Sh*t!

Posted by kerry at 09:20 PM | Comments (0)


I'm not sure if this is supposed to be quite as funny as it is. Intentional or not, the irony is undeniable. The full link is, here.

Oh, and.........it wasn't about oil, either.

Just for the record:

Threat rating: High. The Bush administration is
concerned that it may not get a second term.
Therefore, we are going to change the rules so
that each Democrat vote only counts as 0.2
votes because Democrat is a shorter word than

What threat to the Bush administration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by kerry at 07:50 PM | Comments (0)

July 17, 2003


A big hearty *howdy* to all you bored civil servants over at NIPR.MIL who are driving up my hourly stats. Leave me a comment, tell me whatcha think.

Posted by kerry at 07:24 PM | Comments (0)

holiday shots

could he be having, any more fun?


copyright:Will Huber 2003 all rights reserved.

Update: New news indicates he will be a healthy monkey.

Posted by kerry at 12:29 AM | Comments (1)

July 16, 2003

vote early, vote often

Lost post from June 30th.....................

Posted by kerry at 05:49 PM | Comments (0)

pants on fire

For the record, lying's only an issue in politics if; a) you are under oath b)you are underfunded c) you are a democrat d) it's about sex. As those criteria don't apply in the Iraq/deficit/tax cut/civil liberty slew of offenses, it's time to just shut up and suck it up. We need to focus all of our attention on the deviant elements of society and blame them for all our troubles.

Either that or blame George J!

Posted by kerry at 05:25 PM | Comments (0)

July 15, 2003


I just figured out what I need in my life, a fall guy. A patsy if you will. Think about the uses......I need my own George J. Tenet.

- "Who left the seat up on the toilet?" -- George J. said he had to go.
- "Why is this crusty cereal bowl in the sink?" -- George J. was having Cheerios.
- "Where did the remote control go?" -- Beats me, George J. was using it last.
- "I had one cigarette left......" -- George J. smoked it.
- "The ficus died" -- George J. was supposed to water it.
- "They just shut off our electricity" -- George J. was going to pay the bill.

Responsibility is so 2000. If you're in a bind, get a George J.

Posted by kerry at 01:44 PM | Comments (1)

Yellow Cake

Niger? Ignore them, their uranium is controlled by the French (or do we refer to them as the Freedom now?). We need to immediately investigate Martha Stewart. This stuff seems to be low-hanging fruit. While we're slinging BS, remember covering up is your civic duty.

Posted by kerry at 12:30 PM | Comments (0)

Ain't they cute?

Man, I'm going to miss the Ari show. That boy can spin so fast it'd make George Stephanopoulos dizzy. However, on his last day on the job, the best response he could cough up was, "bull"?

Well, bull and this articulate piece of wisdom.

"I think the bottom has been gotten to," White House spokesman Ari Fleischer said earlier Monday. "No one can accurately tell you it was wrong. That is not known," he said.

Of course he shines next to our commander in chief who's utterances make stupid people wince.

I think I get is darn good intelligence and the speeches I have given are backed by good intelligence,” Bush said. However, the administration has acknowledged the uncertainty of remarks Bush made in his January State of the Union address about Iraq’s alleged attempts to buy uranium in Iraq.

Darn Good? Darn Good? I don't want our intellegence to be Darn Good. I want it to be brilliant, unsurpassed, spectacular, beyond belief............ a Google Search of "Darn Good" returns, Bush quotes, descriptions of horses and best of all, fried twinkies. Our administration's intellegence is on par with a fried twinkie? super.

- boy, the fur's going to fly over this.
- Ok, so it's not just me.
- Cusack doesn't want to be nominated....how about Jon Stewart?
- For the adult kid in you.

Posted by kerry at 10:30 AM | Comments (0)

July 14, 2003

SPF 40 anyone

Too much fun watching elephants mate with the wife?

Posted by kerry at 04:33 PM | Comments (1)

taste vs style

There is a fine line between dressing for what makes you happy and dressing for others, to which does this apply?

Posted by kerry at 02:50 PM | Comments (1)

Catching up

- Linked and assimilated, interesting six degrees approach
- Photo project and I'm behind already
- I have been noted as a left-leaning blogger, I'm honored.
- Now I know what my problem is.

Too much free time?
- Miss 7th grade?
- The internet is what?
- I don't think the wife will go for it.
- It's not a matter of whether she did, but why do people care so much?

Random Politic-ing
- WMD at home? Who knew?

Posted by kerry at 10:59 AM | Comments (0)

July 12, 2003

Sanyo 8100

The phone log is back

Posted by kerry at 07:56 PM | Comments (0)

No kidding?

Fucking Idiot
You are a Fucking Idiot. You're all about screwing
people over. Your celebrity icon is Heidi

What Kind Of Idiot Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by kerry at 08:50 AM | Comments (0)

July 11, 2003


After a royal screwing by Feature Price, I'm desperately scrambling to get the site back up. All date from May 15th through July 1st are lost apparently (shit shit shit). Rule of thumb, weekly back ups, hosting companies cannot be trusted.......no matter how much you're paying them.

All that's left now is to upload images and start ranting again.

Posted by kerry at 03:39 PM | Comments (0)