October 31, 2003

Campaign 2004

2004 is shaping up to be a bloodbath. Condi Rice has given the public a peek into the initial strategy of the Bush campaign and their desire to pin their failures on previous administrations. True to form, the pundits are picking up on it with glee, running pell mell, and spinning like dervishes. What about questioning the administrations responsibility to the public to fully review and respond to the transition team's detailed reports? Especially those on terrorism. The administration's balking on releasing the findings of the 9/11 investigation but rabidly willing to blame their predecessors for their own failures?

Wouldn't they benefit more by lauding their accomplishments than focusing on tearing down the previous administration whose surplus they've squandered? Oh wait, nevermind.

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how to mortify your child

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October 30, 2003


- New Blog/Geek Code -- B9 d t+ k+ s u f+ i o x-- e+ l+ c
- Complete list of Public Radio Sites
- Ultimate Pumpkin Carving --- wish I had more time.
- Word For the Week: Suicider. Kinda makes you think of someone overdosing on apple juice.
- It's "Protection from Porn" week. How does one celebrate this?
- Haliburton Tracker.
- Luskin really hates Krugman and Atrios.........metafilter unloads.
- I'm a slink whore, thank you.

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October 29, 2003


Curious as to what Condi Rice's new role is? Dying to know exactly what the sum total of her responsibilities are? Our articulate leader outlined it for us yesterday. "She's doing -- the role of the National Security Advisor is to not only provide good advice to the President, which she does on a regular basis -- I value her judgment and her intelligence -- but her job is also to deal interagency and to help unstick things that may get stuck, is the best way to put it. She's an unsticker." Unsticker huh? I've got some gum on my shoe and gooey inspection sticker gunk on the car windshield she could get to work on.

He went on to describe how he'll communicate to the electorate throughout his 2004 presidential campaign; "And the only thing I know to do is just keep telling people what I think is right for the country and stand my -- stand on what I believe, and that's what I'm going to do. And there's no question politics can -- will create -- get a lot of noise and a lot of balloon drops and a lot of hot air. I'll probably be right in the mix of it, by the way. But I will defend my record at the appropriate time, and look forward to it. I'll say that the world is more peaceful and more free under my leadership, and America is more secure. And that will be the -- that will be how I'll begin describing our foreign policy." At least he's softened the blow with advanced warning that he'll be blowing hot air.


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October 28, 2003

Returning sloooooooooooowly

Vacation was, as it should be, spectacular. 7 days away from reality does much for the soul. Getting away from news, the internet and work is almost always guaranteed to sate. However, I could be tempted to slug the nearest indivdual who plays a "Wiggles" tune.

I've still not been able to drag myself onto news sites, turn on CNN et al, read the pundits or tolerate any war details. Maybe by Thursday my cast-iron stomach for world news will return.

What I Learned on My Vacation in no particular order
- Sprint PCS Data coverage works 8 miles out into the Gulf of Mexico.
- A toddler will tolerate 10 solid hours in the car......if you're prepared to spend the time in the back seat singing and reading picture books.
- Sunrises over the coast are alway beautiful but sunsets miss something without clouds.
- It's easier to get up at 5am when you don't have to work than if you do.
- Stingrays are tough muthas and have no sense of regret when they snap your fishing rod.
- The South is still very in love with the Stars and Bars...... the land of revisionist history where you can learn all about the Civil War 'War of Northern Agression' and buy anything you want, with the confederate flag imprinted on it (pictures to be posted later).
- Haley Barbour for Govenor attack ads are vile.
- Hermit crabs get all the best shells.
- Nothing beats a sea breeze.
- Coffee, Chicory and Beignets are three tastes that taste great together.
- A day on vacation is equal to an hour of real time and seems to pass even faster.
- Sand accelerates diaper rash.
- Dolphins in the wild are awe-inspiring.

Notable News Bits that caught my attention or amused me
- California elects the Gropenator and spontaneously combusts, coincidence?
- Will Paul Wolfowitz return from Iraq with a "Not as bad as the media portrays it" speech?
- Barring a veto, next year's vacation will be Cuba.
- It doesn't pay to volunteer in Iraq. see; Red Cross, Doctors without Borders, UN.
- Colmes of "Hannity and Colmes" is milquetoast.
- Since Limbaugh has now endorsed excessive prescription drug use, will all his 'bots follow?

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October 18, 2003

High Ate Us

sandy beach and bliss
migrating monarchs flutter
see ya in a week

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October 17, 2003

Sleeping Like a Baby

People without children, do not use this phrase. For the record, sleeping like a; rock, log, dead man.....are all very applicable to a good night's rest. Unless you're waking up hungry, screaming, wet, with a toothache and annoying others, don't use it. Especially, not in front of the bedraggled parents of a toddler........

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October 16, 2003

Vacation minus 2

Leslie Harpold has provided the pan-ultimate set of instructions for proper road tripping. My favorite part is; "Driver controls the music. Passenger gets two vetoes per three hours or 150 miles, whichever comes first. No exceptions." Now I need to print this out and tape it to the visors. Enforcement of this rule should allow me to crank KMFDM and Rob Zombie from Dallas to Shreveport. The evil flipside will be the Joni Mitchell-fest from Shreveport to Jackson.

Random Headlines in no particular order
- Interesting alternate view of the reality vs the spin. Pull and print the pdf files.
- Know thine enemy.................or at least where they're coming from.
- Fox News, R00lZ!!!!! As indicated by their audience.
- People are, at their core......just weird, ain't they? It's like a car wreck, I can't look away.
- InstaPundit parody..................hysterical.

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October 15, 2003

wake up screaming

Either I need to adjust my diet or infuse my life with something other than work and news...................

I so rarely recall my dreams these days. Last night was unique, the one I was having woke me up. I'm riding in the back seat of a sedan driven by an unidentified man. Riding shotgun was our illustrious mayor, Laura Miller. We're driving down Gaston into downtown and hit one of the bone-shaking potholes and I fly up and hit my head on the roof of the car. I holler in pain and then begin to unload on Laura with both barrels. I'm pulled up on the back of the front seat and she's spun around to face me. I'm yelling at her about her piece of sh*t initiative to fix Dallas streets and the uselessness of the large, digital overhead signs they're installing and leaving the roads in disrepair. She's screaming back at me and because it's my dream, I get in the last word. My final retort was, "Well, I guess a recall *is* in order, you bitch". Then I woke up. (reference: a large part of her campaign was a focus on fixing Dallas' streets)

crazy..................or maybe it was a mental backlash of being greeted in the cafeteria yesterday by this:


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October 14, 2003

Vacation minus 3 and counting.

Today's thoughts in no particular order

  • All these years on the internet and I can still be surprised by the contents of a random link.
  • Had this discussion just last night...... We screwed the Kurds in the 80's.....again in the early 90's and now we're unleashing 10K Turks into Northern Iraq for the low low price of an $8.5 billion loan? Why don't we just turn it all back over to Turkey, call it the Ottoman Empire and walk away? I'm kidding of course.... only about the walking part.
  • Want your letter to the editor to get published; the GOP has a guaranteed way to get noticed.
  • Why are we still sooooooo in love with the House of Saud? To quote Janet Jackson, "What have you done for me lately?
  • Troops killed in battle = tragic. Troops injured in battle = horrific. Troops who cannot see an end to their tour/torment and commit suicide = criminal. S. Korea and Turkey are both sending support now.......time to rotate our men and women outta there!
  • Classic Virgin Mary pose. Invokes both awe and reverence...................nah.
  • Texas redistricting. Nice memo. Think there was an agenda?

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riddle solved

Truly a comfort to the Iraqi people I imagine.

"The person who is in charge is me," Bush told Tribune Broadcasting when asked about the infighting and who was in charge.

He seems so happy about it too.

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October 13, 2003

Busier than a one-legged man...............

There has to be a yet undiscovered rule that states; quantity of work will increase exponentially as a direct result of restricted time , schedule changes and an already booked planner. Wrapping up 2.5 weeks worth of future work in 4 days (to allow for vacation) multiplied by year-end reviews plus customer presentations and scheduling to the power of 3 (allowing for unknowns, escalations and outages) equals one harried employee. Enough with the complaining........it solves nada.

Today's Headlines of Interest
- Aren't we now in the business of nation building? Isn't our goal to leave Iraq *better* off than how we found it? Shouldn't we be distinguishing ourselves from the last group in the position of authority? If the answers are all yes, then we need to stop the erradication of their livelihood.
- With Condi as Rummy's "interim" boss and the Commander in Chief on a "Believe Me" tour, the latest thrust in driving the messages home is....drum roll please; form letters to the editor of hometown papers from the troops.
- Wonder how the US Tourism Board is going to sell it's new lodging/meal package?
- Bigotry is not dead.............Oklahoma has it on life support. "Oklahoma is OK" ...... mediocrity on steroids.
- The NRA has a blacklist? Seems a little short to me.

Novelty & Amusement
- Activities for kids. Remember both tolerance and intolerance begins at home. "If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood, TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY! You may be moved to try and witness to these poor lost souls yourself, however AVOID TALKING TO THEM!"
- Shag has new art!!!!!! Since I cannot afford an original, I think my next tat will definitely be one of his tikis.

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October 12, 2003

Deja Vu /1993

It's September on Usenet right here on 100monkeystyping. Rather than invoking Godwin's Law to throttle the influx of clever deficient lemmings.......we'll let the comments pile up and continue infusing the odd balance of politics and commentary with cute.

today's cute.


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October 11, 2003


Thanks for the traffic. Notoriety beats obscurity. HAND.

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October 10, 2003

5th Monday in a row.

  • A lesson in Texas politics from a Californian. The party platform alone is enough reason to be handing out voter registration forms to everyone you know. Speaking of Texas, the BOR has the best running update I've found on the GOP's "disenfranchise minorities" thrust.
  • Be careful how you treat your drug dealer.....especially if you're Rush Limbaugh
  • When senses of humor get lost.......you get, this. Speaking of parody/satire, this is ripe for the picking. Preparing daughters......marinate for 6 hours, let set.......
  • Indian Summer got you down, need some cold chills prior to Halloween? Read this breakdown of the Patriot Act.
  • John Conyers displays his balls for all to see! What action do you suppose will result out of asking Karl Rove to resign?
  • Stupid Alert! Dear parents, you live near a cell tower? Worry more about the microwaves bouncing off that tower.......ignore your WI-FI network......and the chart topper, they're suing the guy who overrode CD copy protection with a Shift-Key work-around?
  • I'm going to need one of these soon.
  • Grover Norquist............single resident, own planet.

Just for fun
I think it's off a little and doesn't match well with my MB tests

Conscious self
Overall self
Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Time to start the weekend. 7 days till vacation/hiatus and boy am I ready!

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October 09, 2003

things that are catching my eye today

- Black Box Voting has the most comprehensive collection of data on the back doors and possible areas for voting corruption/tampering. A Diebold boycott's in order.
- Why is the White House counsel vetting all documents being collected on the Plame Game investigation prior delivery to the Justice Department? Why is there no uproar over allowing the foxes to drive the chicken delivery wagon?
- Need a primer that shows who's going to reap the largest percentage of the $87 billion in tax dollars going to Iraq?
- John Scalzi has an awesome rant on the California recall.
- Clark needs to stay above board and "quit it" with the paid speeches.

- Spectacular parody..................Honey, when you read this.....take it as gospel. Update: mirror here.
- How can Haggis *ever* be a good idea?

- My god, Toronto is beautiful.....once we get to the apex of this global warming curve, it'll be a swell place to live.
- Can we get a license to carpet bomb stupid people? Let's start with the Vatican. Here's a bastion of lonely single men, all holed up in their holiest place handing out edicts on health and sexuality. Why does anyone still listen to them?
- Wingnut Comedy on California's new governor, complete with spelling errors. "You have to work with a Democrat legislature, and we all no they fear neither God nor man and wish the worst for everyone." Update: typo fixed no longer amusing..
- Blogging for fun, profit.............and spin. Comments and Trackback not enabled.

Additional Fodder
- In an effort to remain Fair and Balanced...........Fox has hired the 'second in command' Information Minister of Iraq. Cool.
- Ted Rall has an interesting overview of the California shenanigans.
- Margaret Cho goes verbally postal on Coulter. Big fun.

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October 08, 2003

Second sign of the Apocalypse

Not to toot my own psychic powers, but the writing was on the wall. We're going to use Iraq as a base of operations and spread out through the entire middle east bestowing democracy through conflict as we go.

Sharon said, "Israel will not recoil from defending its citizens and will strike its enemies in every place and with any means.

Sound familiar?

"We've adopted a new strategy for a new kind of war,'' Mr. Bush said, to loud applause. "We will not wait for known enemies to strike us again. We will strike them in their camps or caves or wherever they hide, before they hit more of our cities and kill more of our citizens.''

The logic of pre-emptive striking's becoming quite popular and now that we've established a global precedent, who's to say which country can or cannot implement like strategies?

For sake of argument, isn't this pretty close to the strategy the perpetrators of the 9/11 tragedy used? They hit us when they chose, without significant provocation or permission, on our soil, simply because they wanted to do it and they had a bone to pick.

Is this the pattern we want to encourage, fund and support?

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First sign of the Apocalypse

Congratulations California! You truly are a shining example to us all. We wish you the all best........no really! Here's to you getting your $9 billion back.


the spectators.

Update: Check out the Sacramento Bee's time machine view and just for fun, see how the GOP (Orrin Hatch) is able to dismiss transgressions as long as they occur in the past..............and happen to one of their own.

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October 07, 2003

Required Reading

Just finished "Big Lies". A must read and requires passing on when completed. I am now devouring "Thieves in High Places" and "Pigs at the Trough". Tonight we go see Molly Ivins and get a copy of "Bushwhacked". Hopefully the rugrat will allow us the freedom to get it signed as well.

All this non-fiction........anyone have a good piece of fiction (beyond a White House press release) they can recommend for beach reading? Need something less heavy for vacation.

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Is This For Real?

Someone please investigate this filing and let me know if this originated out of the Hillary camp or if someone's padding the Democrat line-up. Would she really go back on her commitment to New York? I'm dying to know.

Update: No, Thank God.

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Today's Fortune

Brought to you by Jones Soda's Green Apple.

"Judge one not by his charms, but by his qualities".

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hoppin' mad

Tejas Poly-Ticks
The Texas Legislature is once again winning the battle against common sense, bi-partisan politics and the need to serve their constituents. Between adjourning sessions to block Democratic rebuttal, closed door meetings between Delay (will not capitalize the 'L' in his name.) and Craddick, and a seemingly innocuous move that could quite possibly eliminate the primary in Texas, the voters are not getting half of what they've paid for. Even more so when you review the price tag on the special sessions and compare it to the reduction in funding for precincts and their staff.

Off the Kuff, Kos and the BurntOrange Boys have the best and most thorough rundown of this power play/misrepresentation.

With all the flurry of activity in Austin, some of the media focus has been taken off the Dallas Recall thrust. The Dallas Morning News captured this lovely expose' of our Police officials. Seems Bolton wasn't the only numbnutt in a place of power and it appears to be a systemic issue rather than an isolated incident. What about recalling all personnel who've had a history of run-ins with the law?

You've Got To Be Kidding
So you don't forget.... and to ensure you support both Hallmark(TM) and the White House, next week is Marriage Protection Week. Get out there, buy a card, tell a friend, bang your spouse, thump your chest and shout out for all to hear; "I'M PROTECTING MARRIAGE". Then, cut it's funding.

Don't forget to go out and vote!!!!! Remember, this is your opportunity to show the other 49 states what a collective cranial rectal inversion looks like. Don't let us down.

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October 06, 2003

looks like someone's having a monday

  • Michael Moore needs an audience with our illustrious leader. I want to see this list addressed. Or, maybe he could slip it to some Fox reporter? For ease of use, he's also provided a primer on suffering through a holiday meal with a rabid conservative.
  • Dave Barry strikes another direct hit to the Direct Marketing people.....and metafilter goes nuts. Film at 11.
  • Fred Phelps is at it again. The public needs to avoid fighting this in court. Some idiots are best managed through brute force. Let him spend the money and launch his monument. Then, lease a bulldozer.
  • The issue with outing the CIA agent seems to have expanded to an outting of a front company as well. If someone doesn't hang for this......we have really misplaced priorities. Please let it be Karl Rove.
  • Islam ruins marriages of good hardworking Americans. Don't let this happen to you. Stay single.
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yep, absolutely.


.........thanks Andy.

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weekend wandering

- Greg Palast has an interesting revalation on energy meetings in California. Foreshadowing or planned take over?
- Fox viewers are number one, with a bullet!
- Best charity approach ever for Breast Cancer.
- No one landed, and it's made totally out of cheese.
- Plame? Nah, nothing to see here, move along.

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sense of humor vs. sense of taste

How many different ways can you insert Democrat, Hillary, Bill or Liberal into an already existing joke? What this site lacks in origniality, it makes up for in volume.

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October 03, 2003

things that caught my eye

A week or so ago my wife and I were discussing how to handle our son's wants and desires as he got older. The subject of the Boy Scouts came up. At the time I didn't have a solid answer or opinion. I've always thought that maybe we could just ignore the rigidity and let him experience the comradery and life skills part. Now, I think my response might be a little closer to "NO F'ING WAY KID!".

Posted by kerry at 10:41 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

As relevant today as ever.

Thanks Ozzy

Generals gathered in their masses,
just like witches at black masses.
Evil minds that plot destruction,
sorcerers of death's construction.
In the fields the bodies burning,
as the war machine keeps turning.
Death and hatred to mankind,
poisoning their brainwashed minds.
Oh lord, yeah!

Politicians hide themselves away.
They only started the war.
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave that role to the poor, yeah.

Time will tell on their power minds,
making war just for fun.
Treating people just like pawns in chess,
wait till their judgement day comes, yeah.

Now in darkness world stops turning,
ashes where the bodies burning.
No more War Pigs have the power,
Hand of God has struck the hour.
Day of judgement, God is calling,
on their knees the war pigs crawling.
Begging mercies for their sins,
Satan, laughing, spreads his wings.
Oh lord, yeah!
--Black Sabbath, War Pigs

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"unfortunate" irony

This Just In..........

Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld said Thursday "it will be unfortunate" if it turns out that intelligence used to justify the war in Iraq turns out to have been seriously flawed. Yeah, bet it just tears him up. This on top of the $87 billion they're requesting from Congress. Going to be an interesting couple of weeks.

I get this picture of the two guys in "SpaceBalls, The Movie" with the afro pic combing the desert going, "We ain't found, SHIT!".

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October 02, 2003

funny, funny, funny, not so f'ing funny

Left Coast Loony
Ah-nuld, quite the man about town, he is. So much so, that's he's had to offer a sweeping apology to everyone he's offended. I was totally expecting the apology to read "Sorry, is that my hand on your ass?". Where's the apology to Maria? Wait, where is Maria anyway? How do you solve a problem like Maria?

Free Time
In case you're curious as to what your Senator does during those long laborious sessions you pay him to attend, check this out. Kansas seems to be getting their money's worth.

When you imagine discussions in the Oval Office between Rove and Bush, don't you pretty much expect it to be, something like this? Wonder how far removed from reality this really is?

Holy Mother of God
Reality Check. Don't read these numbers on an empty stomach......or a full stomach. Ah, to hell with it, these stats will make you queasy no matter what your current state.

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bits and pieces

  • Limbaugh's out. Dang......and he brought so much "colour" to football too. Now they need to get Michael Savage to do running commentary on men's figure skating.
  • Gen. Anthony Zinni (Ret) had this to say about the Bush effort in Iraq, "And when we put them into harm's way, it had better count for something. It can't be because some policy wonk back here has a brain fart of an idea of a strategy that isn't thought out." Read the whole speech.
  • If I was Novak, I'd be all about shutting the f*** up about now. But then again it might be kinda fun to watch him squirm as he buries himself.
  • Josh Marshall interviewed Clark. A spectacular read.
  • Politically correct in Scotland.
  • Send ketchup and mustard to Austin as the GOP eat their own. If the Dems had just known this would boil down to infighting, they could have saved so much time and money. Ah, hindsight. Off the Kuff has the best running update.
More as the day drags on.
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