March 30, 2004

Random Bits

- Condi's going to testify under oath. Can we get her to state that NSA personnel don't testify?

- Dennis Prager's gone over the Judeo-Christian cliff today, "We ask first what God and the Bible would say about liberating Iraq, not what Syria and other members of the U.N. Security Council say." Is he insinuating that GHWB didn't check with God in '91?

- Cal Thomas, standing in for God this week spake with authority on Methodists, "At the Methodist church trial, a majority of jurors failed their God and Methodism's founder. They have lost their authority to speak for God or to man on God's behalf. Methodists would be well advised to seek a denomination where God and not man is the supreme authority." Sigh, ain't it nice that journalists have the freedom to criticize their denominations? Where's his rebuke of his buddy, Jack Kelly?

amusing quizzing


- Are wary of American arrogance and hypocrisy
- Trace much of today's anti-American hatred to previous US foreign policies.
- Believe political solutions are inherently superior to military solutions
- Believe the US is morally bound to intervene in humanitarian crises
- Oppose American imperialism
- Support international law, alliances, and agreements
- Encourage US participation in the UN
- Believe US economic policies must help lift up the world's poor
Historical liberal: President Woodrow Wilson
Modern liberal: President Jimmy Carter

quelle surprise.

Posted by kerry at 06:43 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Random Bits

- Condi's going to testify under oath. Can we get her to state that NSA personnel don't testify?

- Dennis Prager's gone over the Judeo-Christian cliff today, "We ask first what God and the Bible would say about liberating Iraq, not what Syria and other members of the U.N. Security Council say." Is he insinuating that GHWB didn't check with God in '91?

- Cal Thomas, standing in for God this week spake with authority on Methodists, "At the Methodist church trial, a majority of jurors failed their God and Methodism's founder. They have lost their authority to speak for God or to man on God's behalf. Methodists would be well advised to seek a denomination where God and not man is the supreme authority." Sigh, ain't it nice that journalists have the freedom to criticize their denominations? Where's his rebuke of his buddy, Jack Kelly?

amusing quizzing


- Are wary of American arrogance and hypocrisy
- Trace much of today's anti-American hatred to previous US foreign policies.
- Believe political solutions are inherently superior to military solutions
- Believe the US is morally bound to intervene in humanitarian crises
- Oppose American imperialism
- Support international law, alliances, and agreements
- Encourage US participation in the UN
- Believe US economic policies must help lift up the world's poor
Historical liberal: President Woodrow Wilson
Modern liberal: President Jimmy Carter

quelle surprise.

Posted by kerry at 06:43 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 29, 2004

hired guns and other part time work

- Since when did the VP's job description include Democratic contender attack dog? Cheney simply does not have enough to do. Between his heart to hearts with Rush and hiding out in his cubbyhole his primary focus now is to counter the Democrat's rhetoric?

- Air America goes live Wednesday, if you're in a lucky market.... listen. The rest of us will depend on RealAudio.

- Speaking of rhetoric, now that Spain's pulling out of the Iraq conflict, they can't use "Spanish Inquisition" they've slipped back over to calling it "A Crusade" again. Anyone remember "Infinite Justice"?

- Attention GOP'ers, you do *NOT* have the corner on the biblical quote market. Contrary to popular opinion, you are not the best examples of Christ's teachings on compassion.

- Dear Leader is unapproachable, the VP is a scary real life version of Montgomery Burns,...... what do you do if you have a concern? Take it to Karl the busload. Hysterical.

- BushWatch. That is all.

- Richard Clarke; man of steel, unflappable, a true statesman and best of all, honest. That has got to have the collective GOP's panties in the biggest bunch since...............ooooh, what, Watergate?

How could anyone possibly believe this woman has a credibility gap?


Posted by kerry at 11:18 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

How to eat cake

Notice the clean hands? This takes skill.

Posted by kerry at 06:08 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Monday's Amusement

Two note worthy items sent to me over the weekend.

#1: Research has shown that "digging for gold" will make your brain work better. Study participants unwilling to shake hands after exercise.

#2: Bush and his entourage's excursion to Boston to raise funds caused great celebration across the city as schools were forced to close to accomodate his required 2 mile opposing view comfort zone. The Park Plaza hotel booked the fundraiser in the most appropriate ballroom .........the same ballroom that hosted the "Fetish Flea Market" in January. Coincidence, maybe. Humorous, definitely. Assigns a new meaning to "giving until it hurts", "tied up in committee", and "majority whip".

Posted by kerry at 05:56 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 26, 2004

Flavor of the Week

RC Cola:

Richard Clarke Cola appears to be tough to swallow for some and a refreshing drink for others.

In summary, he is:

- A man to fear.
- A man to respect.
- A prize fighter.
- A mean spirited traitor.
- A liar and partisan hack.

I think it's time to let the people decide. He apologized for governmental failures and has the guts to stand up and be accountable. Much more than we're hearing from Ms. "I'll go on a talk show but not testify" Rice.

and so on and so on

- Dear Mr. Bush, don't quit your day crap, I take that back.

- Dear Comcast, You own it now.......give it to me.

- Noam Chompsky's blog, on voting.

- Sure miss having a uniter as a governor...................or not.

Posted by kerry at 06:11 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Handel said it best

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

could not happen to a more deserving creature.

Aside from a the possible; hat, brooch or pterodactyl, what are we, the voting public to make of this?

Posted by kerry at 04:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 25, 2004

The Ann Coulter game

Ann is infamous for selectively choosing news bites as they fit her needs. Slicing and dicing and making use of endnotes that enhances the difficulty in fact-checking her work. In true Annie spirit, we've assigned a few of the monkeys to apply the "Coulter Effect" to Ann's work directly. As time allows or until we run out of bananas, we'll be slicing and dicing Ann's diatribes into a more entertaining piece of work. No additions will be made, only a few subtractions and some capitalization changes. *for the satire impaired, get over thine self.

This week's source is here:

The shorter and much more entertaining version

ARE YOU sitting down? Another Bush has written a book that don't make sense and you can't dance to it.

As long as we're investigating everything, how about investigating the Bush administration?

When an FBI agent was virtually blacklisted from the mainstream media. George Stephanopoulos called Aldrich's book "No Access Whatsoever."

Larry King canceled the entire year with headlines like "Even Conservatives Back Monica Lewinsky's mouthpiece."

The Bush administration gets an "analysis" by George Stephanopoulos, no less.

Aldrich's book, which was a whoop when the scandal broke, many allegations were disproved within days of the book's release. Condoleezza Rice gave me the impression that she had never heard the term botox like Sen. Kerry!

Sean Hannity has been playing Dr. Rice in great detail. months before she had never heard of organization.

Our liberal friends, had bombed the USS Cole. Two years before, their allies had been responsible for a half dozen attacks on Clinton doing one heck of a job.

Anyone who read the paper is literally insane For Pete's sake.

Rice had been a fellow and worked in a variety of positions.

Six unanswered al-Qaida attacks on Rice's "facial expression" he could tell she was not familiar with the term, a liberal cowboy and gunslinger -- but the black chick is a dummy. Maybe even as dumb as various black government officials.

Rice's background and education was cleaning the Old Executive Office Building at night before the president chose her. A Republican claimed the woman whose face is no stranger to confusion or befuddlement -- left quantum physics,for committing a hate crime.

Dr. Rice certainly didn't need a doubt, that look of perplexity was Condi thinking to herself: "Hmmm, did I demote far enough?"

Posted by kerry at 03:57 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

lack of planning on my part.............

On December 6th, 1941 FDR was meeting with his cabinet to devise a sneak attack on Japan. After spending the previous eight months disregarding Japan as a potential threat, he had awoken that morning with a burning desire to take on those crazy cats who worshipped their emperor as a god. No one had questioned the $43 million carrot he'd dangled in front of their government a few months earlier who would have guessed it was a ruse to lull them into a sense of complacency.

ok, maybe not exactly but equally as plausible.

Posted by kerry at 03:44 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack


This is a short poem made up entirely of actual quotations from George W. Bush. Written by Richard Thompson from the Washington Post and passed on to me by Dan Piraro.


I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
And potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet
Become more few?

How many hands have I shaked?
They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.

I know that the human being
And the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope,
Where our wings take dream.

Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher!
Make the pie higher!

Posted by kerry at 02:41 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 24, 2004

who can keep up?

loopy and other administrative issues

Thankfully the DicknBush team's ensuring all personnel are "out of the loop". We'd hate to think anyone with any responsibility has a friggin' clue as to what's going on. They need to keep tossing Condi on the talk shows to help bolster their point. As the White House manages their attrition through ignorance and dismissive waves of the hand, out here it seems to undermine their "we've got a handle on all this" mantra. Cheney's appearance on Rush's show regarding Clarke's book, pitiful. However it did make me run out and buy the book. Actually buy two books.
- "Take Them at Their Words", by Bruce Miller.
- "Against All Enemies", by Richard Clarke.

After watching the 60 minutes interview last night, (thank you Retrogrouch) I decided I needed to go ahead and finish Bob Woodward's "Bush At War" first before diving into the new text. Especially with the 9/11 two-step going on now.

One more recommendation, rent "Journeys with George". Do it now! The deconstructionist style analogy of the baloney sandwich to the campaign is sheer art.


- Seems William Rehnquist has a long and much lauded history of supporting voter rights. or not?

- The FBI has a 14 box file on John Kerry and the best supporting documentation on Bush's military record is a photocopy of a dental exam? There, is the real argument for becoming a Republican, less paperwork to retain.

- Every once in awhile in this land of opportunity and crass-consumerism, you finally get to see products priced based on their true value. ta-da!

- The PNAE. They don't get my support until I get my fair share of the wine region in France.

- Vote Smart. S-M-R-T.

- Supreme Court to address "under God" issue. God says, "no thanks".

Posted by kerry at 03:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

and still room for Jello

it's what's for breakfast

Posted by kerry at 03:47 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

March 23, 2004

2 + 2 = 5

- Ann Coulter's got a buddy in cyberspace. OxyContin's best customer's brother's got himself a new site and it's full of all kinds of neato droplets of wisdom. Drop by, it's as interactive as TV.

- Dennis is at it again. In keeping with a theme, he insists that liberals have no concept of religion and that secular institutions are guilty of brainwashing students due to the *lack* of religious focus. excerpt, with comments in bold: "The same holds true for liberals and conservatives. Virtually every conservative reads a liberal newspaper, watches liberal newscasts, reads liberal magazines, and has been taught in liberal schools by liberal professors. (who's protecting the conservatives?) Few liberals have read a conservative newspaper (there are almost none anyway) (minus the Washington Times, DMN etc?), read a conservative magazine (does your online screeds against butts count?), studied in conservative schools (10 years in a Baptist school taught me how I *didn't* want to be) or been taught by a conservative professor (of whom there are also almost none) (and here, Dennis displays his vast insight into both public and private institutions) ." What is it with the fear of conservatives having to confront differences on a daily basis? For the record, there are those of us out here that subscribe to the distribution lists for Townhall, Coulter et al. Keep dismissing us Dennis, we're just collecting your words for ammo later.

- Speaking of ammo, the argument that no one's been tougher on terror (which is illogical as terror is a state of being/mind created mostly by fear) than the DicknBush team is categorically false. The word weak springs to mind.

- Here's an opportunity to be heard. Be a part of an awesome experience on behalf of women across America. Or, do what I'm doing.....send your wife and stay home with the kid.

- Again with the "misappropriation of funds". We should have been focusing our $200 Billion on addressing this possible nightmare.

- How many more ex-administration personnel are going to start sharing their frustration with us?

- Speaking of sharing, the DicknBush team have declined invites to debate. Stop the presses...............whodathunkit.

Posted by kerry at 04:54 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 22, 2004

Kids, don't try this at home

Cognitive Dissonance.

"Because of President Bush's vision and leadership, our nation is safer. We have won battles in the war on terror, but the war is far from over. However long it takes, this great nation will prevail." Thank you Condi. What she meant to say was, "Blame the Clenis"! The failure in intelligence couldn't have had anything to do with her inability to read the volumes of data Sandy Berger left for her on OBL. The fact that John 'beat by a dead guy' Ashcroft was cutting counter-terrorism funding, as he was refusing to fly commercial aircraft, couldn't have anything to do with our failures. Maybe they were just too busy trying to find a patsy to bomb so we could really hit the trifecta.

This just in: *

*Israel slated to provide a white paper to the DicknBush Administration on the "Effective Use of US Made Weaponry on Quadriplegics in Highly Populated Areas" or "Gimp Bombing with Surgical Precision in the Suburbs".

*God, speaking through small minds this week has focused his attention on literary criticism in Georgia.

*GOP Punk movement. Sid Vicious said to be spinning in his grave.

*Condi Rice will not testify before 9/11 commission. Citing an obscure policy clause that grants immunity to 'gap-toothed NSAs with bad tempers', Condi defers all blame to the next administration.

*Biblical references to marriage guidelines defined. I will be adhering to #1. Do not question the infallible word of God. You and your concubines have been warned.

Posted by kerry at 05:18 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 19, 2004

but that's just my opinion, I could be wrong

News in 10 words or less.

- As the campaign heats up the truth comes out.

- The international credibility gap widens.

- Shit-can Dennis Miller, syndicate the monkey.

- McCain defends Kerry on defense. Rove spins.

- Who's being funded by your neighbors.

- Pot.Kettle.Black. I thought irony was declared dead.

Posted by kerry at 05:20 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

in an ear bleed mood

Friday's tunes

White Zombie - Electric Head Pt. 2 (Sexational After Dark Mix)
White Zombie - More Human Than Human (Meet Bambi In The King's Harem Mix)
White Zombie - I, Zombie (Europe In The Raw Mix)
White Zombie - Grease Paint And Monkey Brains (Sin Centers Of Suburbia Mix)
White Zombie - Blur The Technicolor (Poker From Stud To Strip Mix)
White Zombie - Super Charger Heaven (Adults Only Mix)
White Zombie - El Phantasmo And The Chicken Run Blast-O-Rama (Wine, Women And Song Mix)
White Zombie - Blood, Milk And Sky (Miss September Mix)
White Zombie - Real Solution #9 (Mambo Mania Mix)
White Zombie - Electric Head Pt.1 (Satan In High Heels Mix)
White Zombie - I'm Your Boogie Man (Sex On The Rocks Mix)

Posted by kerry at 03:39 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 18, 2004

are you better off than you were.............

random thoughts or my $.02

- Ubiquiterror. Is it an issue of the media's inability to differentiate between insurgents and terrorists or no understanding of who's doing what these days? It seems as though Al Qaida is to terrorism as Kleenex is to tissue. Will this approach to labeling simply make them stronger as we dedicate more attention and time to keeping their name in the limelight?

- When did flip-flopping and or changing ones mind/POV become a bad thing? I realize that in this age of us vs them, black and white no grey, good vs evil we've moved away from questioning outcome and mindchanges. Aren't we as a species supposed to evolve, constantly question our past decisions, make changes to accomodate lessons learned? If after spending 19+ years in the Senate, Kerry hadn't made contradictory votes/statements that show his views evolving, I would see that as more of a detractor than if he constantly held fast to obscure convictions as the world changed around him. Heck, Bush told us we'd go to war as a last resort and, didn't he change his mind......or was he lying?


- Al Qaida is pro-Bush. "The statement said it supported President Bush (news - web sites) in his reelection campaign, and would prefer him to win in November rather than the Democratic candidate John Kerry, as it was not possible to find a leader "more foolish than you, who deals with matters by force rather than with wisdom." " File under; holy mother of god.

- Mel Gibson informs his fawning newly acquired followers that it's not all about the 'Greatest Story Ever Told', but more about the money. There's more R-rated films in them there pages.

- Go vote for Bush for 2nd place. He's running tight with Nader right now.

- Celebrate the 1st anniversary of our invasion of Iraq. See your representatives pat themselves on the back.

- Dear (diety in residence), please give Karl Rove everything you *ever* gave to Lee Atwater.

- Ow! ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow! My head hurts.....make it stop.

Posted by kerry at 03:53 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

excuse me while I kiss this guy

and other misheard lyrics like:

Kerry and all of his foreign supporters, which apparently turned out to be an error in translation by Patrick Healy, a reporter from the Boston Globe. Silly facts don't stop the silly people from building websites to track who's now supporting Kerry internationally. If and when his international coalition gets larger than, say, this one, does he automagically default to being the sElected leader?

and in other news.......................

For those who thought no one was listening to Dear Leader on gays. He's getting through.

Rummy baby had a bit of a time when his selective memory slapped him on his ass last week on 'Face the Nation'.

Posted by kerry at 12:25 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 17, 2004

Green Beer, it's what's for dinner

- Dennis Prager wants you to chose between using your heart/mind or the Bible to govern your decision making, thus eliminating Buddists, Islamists, et al from being effectively decisive. Hopefully if a dog and Dennis are both drowning, an atheist walks by.

- The Bush campaign strategy for Week 12, 2004: "Returning honor, integrity and Reagan-esque style selective memory to the White House.

- For the low low price of only $349, you too can be indoctrinated by uptight whities who are led by god to meddle in your business. Later, Tom DeLay's taking everyone out for dinner at Hooters, courtesy of his PAC.

- A searchable index of quotes from the administration leading up to the skirmish in Iraq. They need to add Condi's kaka from Sunday's Meet the Press boondagle where she stated that Iraq was much more of a threat to the US and internationally than North Korea is.

- A veritable who's who in blogging pundit-land. Nice resource. Especially when you see Atrios & Josh Marshall so high up on the list.

- DicknBush says, Kerry says. He says, she says, they say. Everything at face value is a lost concept.

- New rule: Every time someone brings up John Kerry's post-war (1971-3) activities, we get to compare personal performance with Bush on the same time line.

- Dye rumsfeld, dye. Vanity vanity, all is vanity.........which ironically rhymes with Hannity.

- Krugman as always, nails the illusion vs reality debate.

Posted by kerry at 04:52 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Ides of March boy on St. Patty's day

Don't you miss having this much enthusiasm over a balloon?


Posted by kerry at 04:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 15, 2004

Public Service Announcement

Enjoy comedy? Tired of Dennis Miller's monkey? Take a refreshing drink of Piraro juice. Guaranteed to fix what ails ya. I'll be attending the 4.11 show.

Tell Dan I sent ya.

Posted by kerry at 03:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Bachelor eye for the married guy

What happened to the desire to go nuts, go drinkin' and just cuttin' loose? I've either been MWC too long or this isn't a phenomenon and happens to everyone. The wife and child are in Chicago for a week and my weekend's list of wild and crazy activities looked like this;

1. clean house
2. do dishes
3. yardwork
4. grocery shopping

On the upside, everything's still in the same place it was Saturday morning and it's temporarily acceptable to have chocolate donuts at midnight.

Today's been reserved for playing and tomorrow's reserved for a funeral.

I lost another co-worker and friend to cancer again. I'm fucking sick of this shit. Lovely woman, 3 kids, not yet 40, after exhausing all possible treatment, was taken away by some very very aggressive brain cancer.

Teresa, you will be missed. I just wish your husband had understood how much and what your life impact was...........and then allowed your friends access to say goodbye.

Posted by kerry at 03:33 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 12, 2004

scritch scritch scritch wikki wikki wikki

Today's Primary Tracks

Rob Zombie - Dragula
Rob Zombie - Superbeast
Rob Zombie - How To Make A Monster
Rob Zombie - Living Dead Girl
Rob Zombie - Spookshow Baby
Rob Zombie - Demonoid Phenomenon
Rob Zombie - The Ballad Of Resurrection Joe And Rosa Whore
Rob Zombie - What Lurks On Channel X
Rob Zombie - Meet The Creeper
Rob Zombie - Return Of The Phantom Stranger
Rob Zombie - Superbeast
Rob Zombie - Meet The Creeper

Posted by kerry at 02:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

bang bang

the sound of the Sloganator being capped in the head. RIP.

there's still time to get your DicknBush balls. Nice for whacking. If that's not enough, get a party pack, booze and nose candy sold separately.

Posted by kerry at 03:29 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 11, 2004

Has the fat lady sung yet?

- Find the truths in advertising or just let the media decide for you.

- Trouble with fund raising, when you find out you're not the favorite.

- It's a god thing, you wouldn't understand........unless you're a fundamentalist similar to the Taliban. They didn't suffer equal rights much either.

- Kerry's 10th buddy's been found. Odds on when he hit the pundit show circuit? He apparently has chips on both shoulders.......which makes for good TV.

- Flying to the top of my Netflix queue is "Journeys With George".

- Dear Ed Gillespie, keep talking.

- Tired of subscribing to news services. stop.

Posted by kerry at 10:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack


Wonkette's got a fabulous 'how-to' on using the DicknBush Slogan/Poster generator. My initial attempts at fun are here and here.

Speaking of fun, check out Scott McClellan as he loses faith in his boss.

Newest book on the need to buy the synopsis in Salon.

WWJD? He'd probably request Ann Coulter stop speaking for him and trying to interpret the bible.

Posted by kerry at 05:49 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

truly worth 1000 words

What being grilled by the Senate Armed Services Committee will do to you.

Posted by kerry at 04:55 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

combining improbabilities

DicknBush Campaign Ideas

We're strong on National Security.

Jobs For Everyone.

Cheney Cheney He's Our Man, if he can't do it, McCain can. .......................under Kerry.

Space, the Final (under budgeted) Frontier.

Dean Is Still a Loony.

If Scandinavian's Can't Handle Gay Marriage, Neither Can We.

oh, and fire Scott McClellan and replace him with Ann Coulter. He's getting boring.

Posted by kerry at 01:14 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 10, 2004

catching my eye like a badly thrown jig

- Bless Dear Leader's little pea-pickin' heart. He gives us such neat toys to play with. Now we can make neato posters for the DicknBush campaign.

- The DicknBush campaign's got Joe-mentum. Here's hoping they can keep it coming. I can't wait for the ad that juxtaposes the aircraft carrier codpiece shots with the faux turkey serving.

- With God making all the decisions for us and Bush at the helm, there's just nothing that could go wrong, right? We could really use a theocracy about now.

- If you're running for office and it's a tight race, don't mess with Howard Stern. His approach might be juvenile in nature but his listener base is vast and he's hitting valid talking points.

- "The President's actions in the immediate wake of 9/11 were nothing short of heroic.........." Yeah, nothing says hero like continuing to read to children while the WTC towers burned and then rushing off from military base to military base.

Posted by kerry at 07:56 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Rugrat moments

Finally took some time to update the cell phone photo log with recent pics of the little guy.

Posted by kerry at 03:22 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

March 09, 2004

Don't fire till you see the whites of their eyes

- Joe Conason's piece today outlines the players in the new "discredit the democrat" game. Deja-vu all over again. At least this time we have plenty of experience with their tactics and have seen how they run their plays. This isn't 1996-7 folks.

- Bush and Dick, together as nature intended. Show your support for the incumbents or the terrorists win.

- RNC dicksizing. Underwhelming. Straight from the 'what the hell are they thinking' category.

- Single parents, widows, divorcees..........Christianity isn't for you....... Dennis Prager (who's sorely tempted by the sight of young flesh) wants you to know "If Judaism and Christianity do not stand for man-woman marriage and the father-mother family, they stand for nothing." Nothing about being inclusive, loving, understanding or a glimmer of hope that he might have a clue that a large portion of the public, don't even get married in a religious ceremony.

- Rick Perry, busy with big donors in the Bahamas, vetoing legislations, raping the school system and shoring up his contributions, took time out of his busy schedule of ignoring his constituents to speak to allegations. If it took a pseudo-scandal to get Gov. GoodHair to read some blogs, then kudos to the rumors. May he read all of what's being reported on the politics in his state. Did I mention he's an avid wife f*cker?

Posted by kerry at 04:59 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Goooooooood Morning Texas!

Time to go vote! Get up, get going. Let's set a record in the state for number of votes cast in a primary.

Posted by kerry at 02:48 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

March 08, 2004

two tastes that taste great together

Bleary eyed Monday with a chip on both shoulders

- Voting, it gets the red out.

- Dear Leader makes clever use of the english language to promote abstinence; "But the true strength of America is found in the hearts and souls of people like Travis, people who are willing to love their neighbor, just like they would like to love themselves."-Springfield, Mo., Feb. 9, 2004.

- Congresscritter Cole isn't alone these days. Since they can't run on jobs, the economy and the environment the new theory is "A vote against Bush is a vote for terroism".

- "In-your-face exhibitionism doesn't sell well in the cheap seats." Mmmmmkay. How about "from the cheap seats, the blind can't see love"?

- They eat their own with a side salad and a tasty appetizer.

- Some tit for some tat? "After the Shrine fundraiser, Bush spoke to a $25,000-a-person dinner that raised $3.5 million for Republican National Committee dinner at the home of A. Jerrold Perenchio, a billionaire sports promoter who was the beneficiary last year of a controversial merger decision by the administration."

- Quick math moment: The BLS shows 21K new jobs in February. By year's end the administration promised us 2.6 million. This is what is known as a slow start. .81% down, 99.19% to go. Maybe it'll snowball. If each month's total doubles exponentially we have a chance by September or October. Odds?

- Silly people take dipshits like this seriously. the best part of the article is on page 2

- Rick Perry is not gay. I repeat NOT GAY. He's still the homophobic, knuckle dragging neanderthal with super awesome hair, that he's always been.

- Robert Novak dresses up and parodies Joe Wilson. Why has no one invited him to a blanket party?

- One used to be able to use the phrase, both sides of the same it's what currency are they using?
- Quote 1: "the Sesame Street sweetness of the Bush team"
- Quote 2: "George Bush reached down and molested the dead."
Which one of these is not like the other, which one of these just isn't the same?

Posted by kerry at 03:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 05, 2004

What ifs..........

Thoughts that keep me up nights

- Osama's caught alive during the Republican Convention in September.

- Saddam's trial starts in October and is televised.

- John Kerry picks Bob Graham as a running mate.

- The United States experiences another attack on her soil.

- Bush dumps Cheney.

Sweet Dreams y'all.

Posted by kerry at 03:40 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Friday's Tunes

Liquor In The Front (Poker in the Rear)

Reverend Horton Heat - Jezebel
Reverend Horton Heat - I can't surf
Reverend Horton Heat - Five-O Ford
Reverend Horton Heat - One time for me
Reverend Horton Heat - Yeah, right
Reverend Horton Heat - Crusin' for a bruisin'
Reverend Horton Heat - I could get used to it
Reverend Horton Heat - Liquor, Beer & Wine
Reverend Horton Heat - In your wildest dreams
Reverend Horton Heat - Baddest of the Bad
Reverend Horton Heat - Big Sky
Reverend Horton Heat - The Entertainer
Reverend Horton Heat - Rockin' Dog

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March 04, 2004

catching 22's

GOP Watch

- Credit where credit's due. Ms Coulter can really write. "Christ the Moron Driving Around in a Volvo With a 'Be Nice to People' Bumper Sticker on It." Too bad she's not as adept at thinking. I still can't see the Liberal/Islamic connection she so desperately wants to expose. Keep tryin' honey.

- Robert Novak sobered up long enough to write a "how the Republicans are failing to stay cohesive and on message". Here's hoping they aren't listening.

- For all the wailing and nashing of teeth they're doing over gay marriages and perceived immorality these days, one wouldn't expect to see mutual masturbation on Townhall. "So, husbands and wives of America, look to Rush to help you save your country--" yawn.

- Tough as nails to refute uncited vague data................but what can you expect from NewsMax these days? A high level count is here and if you want to do the research on the real numbers (the type that Greenspan cite) they're here.

- True indication of doing something right, they build a PAC around stopping you from doing something you've not yet planned or decided to do. Odd to the 3rd power. Do what I did, join the mailing list.

- Winning in 2004, stifle the airwaves and make them dissent free.

Miscellaneous Things to Ponder

- I can't say I necessarily support this conceptually, but the argument is rather strong.

- From the man who brought us "Jesus Built My Hotrod", it's a WTF are you thinking letter to Urban Outfitters, the mecca of non-thinking pseudo-trendy youth.

- Reason #99875 why our schools are failing, no oversight in budget allocation.

- The earth is flat, the sun rotates around the earth, and tax cuts benefit all people. Sure makes you miss the Dark Ages.

Posted by kerry at 03:25 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 03, 2004

Things you learn on CNN

When Wolf Blitzer interviewed Cheney last night and brought up gay marriage, Cheney did stick to his talking point. "I support the pResident".... however, when pressed as to whether he supported the amendment, his face reddened considerably, even through his pancake makeup, before parroting the party line again. It's got to totally suck to have to reverse your position due to the grandstanding of your boss.

Rudy Giuliani's eyebrows have ceased to function. No matter how wide he opens his eyes, they don't move. Eerie.

In the hours between when Crossfire airs in the early evening and when the boys reappear to guest briefly on the Wolf and Judy show, Bob Novak needs to stay away from the sauce. In his brief and shining moment last night, Captain "Leak Proof" had some sort of freakish political tourette's syndrome. "I listened -- I know you coordinate with the Democratic Party. I've listened to this attack starting with Dean, continuing with all these other politicians. And the -- and then to hear these people whining tonight, my goodness, they're going to put some ads out that are critical of the sainted Vietnam veteran. What whining bull that is. " Spewed while swaying side to side in his chair. Completely surreal.

Note to Ralph Reed: Please refer back to Dear Leader's comments on gay marriage being a case for the states. His new plan to amend the constitution is *not*, "consistent, with where he's always been". The little weasel needs a fact was nice though to see Wolf call him on some of his campaign spin.

Quick bits

- Two tastes that taste great together, Compassion and Conservatives. P.T. Barnum was right.

- Your one stop shopping site for Dear Leader fans......and those who need ammunition.

- Which side do you want to be on? The one of venom and intolerance or love and inclusion? Nutters who write hate mail deserve to have it all posted.

- Best ad yet for the Dear Leader campaign.

- Oh come on, they're only numbers........they don't *mean* anything......

- Krugman eats Greenspan for lunch, declares, "not enough meat on bones", spits him out.

Posted by kerry at 04:00 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

It's like they have ESP

CNN declares Kerry the clear winner in Maryland with zero precincts reporting. Brilliant work folks.

Posted by kerry at 03:19 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

of course

You are Schroeder!

Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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March 02, 2004

Caption Needed

Dear Leader celebrates 1st anniversary of Union-Free Fatherland Security with a Ridge Appetizer.

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Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Tuesday

Get em while they're hot!!!!!!!! Annie's little tome of bile's seriously on sale this week and at this price, they're cheaper and more efficient than buying a Duraflame log.

The Passion. The best review I've read sums it up with this "It's a splatterfest, only with Jesus". The controversy alone makes me want to see it. If I could work it in as a double feature with "Army of Darkness", maybe I could get all my 2004 gore needs sated early in the year. The conservative take on the flick seems rather amusing as they tout the "authenticity" of Mad Max's rendition of the umpteenth translation of a biography written after the death of Christ 2000+ years ago. I'm still though, confused as to why Gibson didn't capitalize on Easter rather than Lent. What about the Catholics who gave up movies for Lent?

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez called President Bush an "asshole" on Sunday ................................holy moly. Will it be a sign of the apocalypse when Vincente Fox refers to him as a cocksucker?

Dissent is has an easy remedy. Removal. Do not question Dear Leader.

Leased Government Land. There's money in them there hills, lowered regulations, nominal fees all you need is a drill and a love for raping mother nature. Where do I sign up?

Homosexual Matrimony. Come on people, evolve. Between Dennis Prager losing his focus on teenage hotties and comparing gay marriage to Islamic radicals and Cal Thomas believing that people cannot possess morals and not subscribe to his god...........tolerance seems to be losing ground.

Posted by kerry at 03:44 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Catching up in spurts

News in 10 words or less in no particular order

- Penguins splatter, PETA pissed.
- Social Security lockbox rusted, key lost.
- Tax cut benefits. Do not read on full stomach.
- Proudly made in American and worn by the nation's finest.
- Political humor. Like a having a Fresca after eating mud.
- God I miss Bill Hicks. He would have loved this administration.
- It ain't dirty work unless your fingernails are messy.
- Compassionate Christianity.
- It's not *just* civil's a start. Right Newt?
- Old Testament law is soooooooooooooo picky. picky picky picky.
- Don't get sick in jail.
- Sometimes, it pays to be the AV guy.

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