Looking on bright side of life
* Tonight is free scoop night at Baskin-Robbins. Nothing makes 2 year olds and 36 years olds happier.
* Caveat "I don't watch reality tv". However, here's an idea for the true American Experience(tm) reality show. The Pitch: Contestants compete for the title of the laziest couch potato slob in the nation. The harder they work to be lazy the more likely it is they'll be booted from the show due to the mere appearance of level of effort. Changing channels, getting their own beers, watching any news, and actually peeing in a toilet will result in point reduction. Call it "American Idle".
Now for something posing as true reality
* Odds that the Townhall contributors actually attended Sunday's rally in DC? 1 in 10? 1 in 100? Odds it got their collective panties bunched in a tight little wad? 1 in 1. Odds on the opposition simply labeling the attendees as ugly feminists. Again, 1 in 1. What is it they're all so darn afraid of? Obviously overpopulation isn't at the forefront of their argument. The lift on the international 'gag' law on family planning? At least it's causing retro-active dialogue......since it sure didn't get much media coverage.
* The RNC/WH attack machine is in full swing now. It's neat to watch the use of playground logic; I hit you, you hit me back, I come back with a rock because you hit me. How long can the NeoCon 'too busy to serves' keep attacking Kerry's war record before the Democrats realize they've just been served up a heaping plate of "everything's on the table" and start eating?
* To all of you on the left and right coasts who keep scratching your heads and trying to figure out how in the heck a corrupt exterminator from Texas keeps getting reelected, the WaPo did all your research for you. I'm most weirded out about the "approved plant list" for the gated communities.
* Attention all liberals!!!! Ever awoken to that bubbling seething anger that makes you want to holler like Dean, expose corruption like Moore... still trying to find out what it is that makes your bleeding heart tick. A former liberal has taken time out of his busy schedule and "compassionately" laid it all out for you. Oh and noted how wrong-headed you are....which might just piss you off more. Thereby creating more confusion and anger and only serving to perpetuate the issue. *shrug*
* Proof a god exists will come in seeing this man in a perp-walk. Yes, he is gesturing to demonstrate the size of his bonus.
* Cool, fun and will be downloaded tonight for my amusement.
* I have no adjectives left to discuss Iraq and thankfully pictures are truly worth 1000+ words, each.
* Spain mimics Yakko, Wakko and Dot and hollers over their shoulders, "Okay bye bye pretty lady, we love you".
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Filtering out the Business as Usual from the Surreal
* Surreal: Kerry's ties to Planned Parenthood make him culpable for stupid comments made in 1923.
* BAU: Random drawings cause for alarm. GITMO building new artisan wing.
* BAU: Talk radio once again proves its point. Lack of tolerance sells.
* Surreal: Kerry's war record and medals attacked by.......Dick "I've got other responsibilities" Cheney? Kudos to his fight back moxie.
* Surreal: Please don't let this be true.
* BAU: Senior citizens blessed by compassionate conservativism. DicknBush, redefining blessed more everyday.
* Surreal: Phyllis Shlafely coming out in support of land preservation, the plight of farmers, wild animal safety, say it isn't so.
* Surreal: Tomorrow, I'm going to wear a big shirt that tells my boss how evil his lifestyle is. Then, when he gets done firing me, I'm going to whine that he's censoring me.
* BAU: Gary, you're right, keep gas prices up. Make it punative to drive an H2 or SUV. Just stop trying to rape our land to compensate.
* Surreal: Talkin' about Dear Leader's military service, ain't right. You best be rooting for the hardest workin' terror hunter in these here parts. Cowboy Arbusto's record is no match for the likes of that varmit Kerry.
Thought for the day: 1 million plus women, men and children marched on Washington DC Sunday. Bush went to Camp David. If a march happens in DC and the President's not there to witness it, did it happen?
Speaking of the march, I can't stop looking at the pics. One distinct accidental comparative study I found.........both, saddened and amused me.
A quick, Mucho Gracias to the nod from Blah3 today.
On with the entree
* Maureen Dowd woke up pissed yesterday. She gives us reality in "Bushworld".
* Bush to public: "You assume I give a shit." Why does this surprise the media?
* Tasty nugget of what if and who does this really shock? WMDs being shipped to Iraq, say it isn't so!!!!! Courtesy of anonymous reader.
* Hunter noted that the number of fuel tanker trucks in Iraq that have been destroyed now by attacks is between 80 and 100. This combined with the lack of protective armor......would someone please spend that $87 billion on something other than terrorizing elderly people in Miami?
* More on treason from a retired Colonel in the USAF. Ann's going to have a conniption.
From yesterday's march on Washington. courtesy of, my wife
more of these to come.
To the million+ marchers on the Mall today. You look beautiful. The brunette down in front, on the left, she'll be coming home to me. Oh, and why is all the liberal media ignoring this? C-SPAN.org is the only one broadcasting footage.
Karen Hughes on the on the other hand, can self-fornicate.
In other news: (some of which is late.)
* Ann proves once again, 'they eat their own'. Thank god.
* Everyone pay attention, gays are overrunning the schools. they even have a recruitment program....for every new homo, you get a toaster.
* Cheney touts Dear Leader's pro-life record. No reference to the abortion in the 70's or the number of dead Iraqis.
* Louisiana gets bored and bans low slung pants. Plumbers strike.
* Michigan passes legislation that allows doctors to refuse treatment to homosexuals. Patient verification test, up in the air.
* Bless the memoryhole.org and the FOIA.
* Why does anyone give a shit if a pedophile priest won't give an elected official communion? Didn't the Catholic church lose most of their political clout after even their bake sales were found to have fallen short of the lawsuit payoff money needed?
and, only in the US can you get the following two quotes in the same article.
- "We've never claimed to be an all-you-can-eat establishment," said Johanson. "Our understanding is a buffet is just a style of eating."
- "You can just go there and just eat meat," said Leota, a mother of two.
Who knew having a yard sale in Dallas was punishable by a fine? (Chapter 57-A Sec. 4.217. Paragraph B9)
Dear, Dear Leader,
On behalf of Mother Nature, thanks for nothing.
* Additional justification why it's important for me to play "Home Alone" with the rugrat this weekend and send my wife to DC. Pay close attention to the name "Tom Monaghan" and next time you order pizza, ask yourself how you feel about other people making choices about your body.
* Best summation of how we should be handling foreign policy, with regards to terrorism, the middle east et al that I've seen..... think the Condi reads this guy's stuff? Nah.
* Bush-wear. Does this or does this not completely violate the flag laws in this country? Ooops, there's a provision that allows the president to overrule the other policies. Never mind. DicknBush, interpreting the laws to suit their needs since 2000.
* In support of the "Save the Patriot Act Tour" Bush is currently spending our reduced tax dollars on........ I give the TSA kudos for stopping the most recent potential terrorist.
* Bush fought the battle of Jericho, Jericho, Jericho...............and the walls came tumbling down. The more the US keeps bringing God into this the more it is really going to come across as a crusade.
* At least Dear Leader's not dippin' into the Botox as well. *smirk*
* Please go check out Kuff's run down of Governor Good Hair Educational Special Session. See if you can figure out why the taxpayers are funding another session in which the legislature can't even start off with a consensus. Stay tuned for the Perry-Strayhorn oil wrestling on PPV.
I've received tracts, stuck under my wiper blades before. This one
though, takes the cake. caution, file is large
* Fun fun fun. The Bush Team has provided a new interface for bugging Kerry on the campaign trail. You get to submit reasons why Senator Kerry is bad for your state. So far, no caveats or checks being put on email addresses, names or content. My Letter: "John Kerry reads too much. He doesn't take enough long vacations to get away from the important details. He listens to council. He's willing to be flexible too much and sees grey areas instead of black and white. He's too unwilling to pre-emptively carpet bomb people with oil who piss us off."
* We hate terrorists. We are opposed to those who harbor terrorists. We think evil-doers have no soul and should be punished. Unless......they are part of the oil cartel and then, well, it's alllllllllll good. Weren't the majority of the IX.XI.MMI terrorists from Saudi Arabia? Nevermind......they aren't part of the Axis o'Evil. (update: adjusted date.... )
* Paging Dr. Freud. Dr. Freud. Ms. Rice here to see you. Something about her Hus^H^H^boss.
* Supreme Court refuses to hear case of Texas redistricting. Massive waves of mock surprise seen across the nation.
* Church is for pansies. Make it more like a watering hole and reach the unwashed chromosomally challenged. Onward ye Christian soldier, there's a war on.
* Latest update from the website sponsored by "perpetually bunched panties" seems to be so incredibly frightened by Hillary that every press appearance is a conspiracy. I love their email updates. If you haven't signed up. Do so. The typos alone are worth the spam.
* File under Bloody Powerful.
* A letter from Iraq. Please read.
* How long before there's an x-ray posted of one of these, lodged somewhere special? Guaranteed honorable mention in the Darwin awards.
* When you kick the ant hill, make sure it's a sunny day so you can be out with the big magnifying glass.
* Bill Kristol applauds Kerry. Satan buys snowshoes.
* Some mornings you just wake up and go, "Shouldn't we be orange?".
* The Tax Cuts saved my marriage, they made my snap peas bigger, painted my kitchen and improved my gas mileage. Too bad they're screwing up the economy over the long-term.
* Scratch that "need to know itch". 30% off at Barnes & Noble. He writes faster than I can read.
* 99 in April alone and it's barely half over. 11 over the weekend. 90-120 more days for some. Another reason to hate math.
* We give you *FREEDOM OF THE PRESS* ......just don't go driving around.
* "We had no prior knowledge that terrorists could possibly have ever ever never ever dreamed of crashing planes into big buildings". mmmmmm, kay.
* I forgot to celebrate. Can I get a makeup?
* What bumpersticker do you have on your car?
* From the other side of the looking glass, Mr. Hanson lets us in on some personal perception secrets.
Can we use the "pry my cold dead hands off" phrase, yet?
* Anne Coulter has spoken. This season's hottest apparel item is, the 'W' hat. Not because it comes in snazzy Jingo Blue and Crawford Khaki... but because it goes super with the limited edition 'Confederate Cavalry Sword'. Buy now, and save.
* Do we all still buy his witticisms?
* It's bad when 3rd rate Hooter girls aren't even buying this administration's BS.*
Dallas is at it again. The city government spends more time attached to the tit of big business and local sport than they do considering the needs of the schools and infrastructure. This time they're rolling over and letting the Cowboys entertain the idea of razing the Cotton Bowl and building a new stadium within Fair Park. After spending all of the money restoring the beautiful art deco frescos and facades, they're actually thinking of dumping a gargantuan stadium in the middle of on of the last pieces of true art deco architecture left in the US.
By injecting a major sports arena into the Fair Park area I see the following negative impacts occuring, for starters;
Maybe I'm the only resident who feels this is monumentally stupid and that the Cowboys should find some farmland or zoned area close to the existing "dome from hell" within Dallas County. I believe this should be put to a referendum and the citizens/voters/tax payers should say no to funding another sports arena we don't need and won't see any direct benefit from. Tell Laura Miller to get off her high-horse and start fulfilling some of her campaign promises first before wrecking our city's treasures. Stop placing expensive reader boards over streets that cause blowouts if you hit a pothole wrong. Fund the schools, re-open public pools, open a friggin' library on Fridays & weekends, quit bending over to football, basketball and hockey and focus on what makes a city ....... a city.
It's a good IRS deadline day when the government owes me money. So, today's news will have a light-hearted tone......somewhat.
* CSPAN's rating just shot through the roof today when Ann Coulter announced she was the only American watching the 9/11 Commission. She means *live*, the rest of us have full time jobs and have to watch the reruns at night.
* All along, I've thought the reason stories in the media dissipated so quickly was due to the short attention span of the audience. Au contraire, it appears as if story exhaustion actually occurs with the media itself and now, rather than dropping it, they take time out to bitch about it. Redefining whiney one article at a time.
* Youthful indiscretions, cocaine use, bad driving all that nasty stuff you do before 40, not a problem. Unless you served in Vietnam, earned a couple of medals and are, well.....a Democrat. geez folks, if you don't think the past is relevant, quit wallowing in it.
* Lonely divorced black republican, seeks love. Please write........legibly.
* Although it'd be an absolute blast to deconstruct last night's press conference......but I just don't seem to have as much time as other people. The cream of the crop are;
* The AP discusses the pResident's inability to think on his feet.
* The lack of movement on the PDB makes much more sense after seeing this.
* Totally unrelated topic; Gun owners sliding to the left?
I'm sorry. Um, Mr. President, can I get that again..... that was "self-governing brown-skinned people"? Ok, just wanted to be sure that's I heard.
and from the happy fun crew.....................
**more faboo screen shots of Dear Leader, here.
Neat exercise to see what people are reading.
Mine: "Aquinas would say that if there's a causal chain consisting of a series of A's, the Big Bang, and a series of B's, there must be a cause (C) of the existence of the chain:" from Chapter 2: God and Philosophy "Open Questions, an introduction to philosophy" Emmett Barcalow
- An abbreviated Dennis Prager: "Bob Kerrey clarifies the liberal view of blacks and women Because many liberals and most Democratic leaders do not take blacks and women as seriously as they take whites and men. Also, whereas a white liberal regards a white male as an individual, the white liberal is more likely to regard blacks and women as groups rather than as individuals." -- Condi's disenfranchised, After School Special being developed now.
- Maybe it wasn't the message so much as it was the way it was delivered. How to improve your intelligence briefs (or boxers).
- At least we have the support of the Coalition Brotherhood. Good thing they're not attacking the results, just commenting on the methods.
- Kerry speaks out on Iraq in a wonderful op-ed piece in the Washington Post. Bush get's Cliff Notes version on cocktail napkin for review.
- It's not about the accuracy or finite details it's what you do with the data you are provided.....besides golfing.
- Turncoat. When the answer to WWJD is 'not vote for the shrub from Tejas'. Consider alternatives.
- Canadians are not pacifists. "Do Not Use If Seal Is Broken".
and blood is in the water..................
* Kerry, posing as serious sharkbait (hoo ha ha), commented on Bush's love of vacationing. Which of course caused knee-jerking all around about his need to ski. Since it's not apples to apples Senator vs sitting President, let's all get giddy about the upcoming press conference......the 11th since Jan 2001. By this time in Clinton's *first* term, he'd had 72. *sigh*
* Spinner bait: Take the LGF test and see how far we've evolved.......or not. The answers will blow you away.
* Netted: Matt Bivens provides a concise summary on the Nero problem.
* bait and switch: Alternative solution for the seriously mentally challenged.
What can I say, it's been a visual weekend.
* Only if Santorum would run as VP.
* Speaking of Condi, what a testimony. Can obfuscation qualify as perjury?
* How 'bout that freedom of the press thingie?
* The icing on this weekend's mail has to be my letter from Dear Leader.
In an amazing show of support for the troops in Iraq, President Bush returned to the Green Zone today, just to serve Easter Dinner to the troops. After slaughtering the primary course himself, he took time out of his packed schedule to display the meal to all of those who were so carefully hand picked to atttend.
* Love the movie "Office Space", check out this parody from a White House perspective.
* More on Texas, for complete coverage of the anti-Frost ads, please check out BAN's report.
* With all the recent casualties reported in Iraq, the insurgent uprisings and general chaos, I was curious as to who the heck was in charge over there...... then I remembered this.
* Are you a member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy? If unsure, take this handy dandy little quiz.............remember, just pick 'C'.
If you read anything today, make it this. Direct from an old aquaintance who's currently working in Iraq.
Annie tries her hand at book reviewing this week. In the spirit of her masterful skill of cutting and pasting what suits her, here's this week's article. *Remember, nothing added, only deleted.
Deliver Us From Democrats
April 7, 2004
Sean Hannity hit No. 1 on NPR.
That's unless you briefly mentioned it unfavorably with an "angry liberal.
Hannity reads like a long, long liberal insult hoping for a book that would read more like a transcript of Al Franken's.
Hannity's chock-full of uncomfortable historic evils such as the Holocaust and the 9-11 terrorist attacks and evil newspapers poised to jump from a bridge and, after a few hours, jumps.
Hannity says we make excuses for Hitler, a pedophile priest, Ethan Hawke, Bill Clinton soon we cease being evil at all. ( "It's just about sex.") With each choice we take a step closer to God.
The leaders of the modern Democratic Party, would be "someone who wears fur." "George W. Bush," as the very essence of evil, the force of evil to appease.
"Evil" runs through an enormous amount of history from Munich, ravaging Britain, promising "peace in our time" and a nice quiet "national malaise".
He had removed those sounds like today's Democrats so eager to love us. Bush's "belligerent and myopic unilateralism," and on al-Qaida's payroll.
And speaking of old jokes, Hannity mistook it for a rapidly moving bunny rabbit. Reacting to the dramatic change in my own opinion of what they've done in the previous office."
Hannity then caught the attention mass murders, genocide, crushing uprisings before concluding: "The evil of communism was no secret rabbit.
And of course there was masterful crisis in America to betray our ally, Carter was back-stabbing this loyal Democrat in the White House!"
In addition to accomplishments in Iran, which taught animals to grovel before terrorism, Hannity reviews nothing.
After Saddam Hussein's forces invaded, torturing men and raping Rep. Nancy Pelosi, "I hope we take environmental dictators and defeat sanctions." And so it was after the attack, a rush to war."
According to the latest polls there's at least a fair chance that an amoral appeaser could get a nice quiet sleep.
* Due to location, streaming feed issues and a preference towards spending free time playing with my rugrat, I have to confess I've not been able to tune into Air America. I get my daily earfull from 'tweaked' conservatives who are apparently avid listeners. After reading this, I am left somewhat perplexed by the choices made in the larger metropolitan areas they serve as to which radio stations they obtained. Disenfranchising minorities is bad mojo.
* On a lighter note, Ashcoft has decided that statues with boobies and Janet Jackson aren't the only sexual objects that offend him. Seems as if there's a new FBI task force dedicated now to rooting out evil porn. What a job, eh? Rye and piss cakes being delivered free with all new Playboy subscriptions.
* 13 new losses of American life in Iraq yesterday......31+ since Sunday. We've not found WMDs (although other opinions disagree here, here and here) and now we're either on the cusp of a full blown civil war or a religious jihad of sorts. Who's the last person you would expect to be asking about us pulling out? Surprised me too.
* Those durn liberals always going on and on and on and on and on about raising taxes. Oh wait. nevermind.
* Local races heating up. Pete Sessions seems to be in denial over funding or authorizing the attack ads on Martin Frost. Who can hear him denying with his head so far up DeLay's ass?
* Evolution moves at a much slower pace than was originally hypothesized.
* Oh, the syndication possibilities. Dear Fox, here's a winner.
Dallas/Ft Worth residents, book your tickets now before it's too late! PolitiComedy-A-Go-Go is coming to the Addison Improv April 11th and 12th. Don't miss this once-in-a-lifetime* opportunity!
*heavily biased opinion but not subsidized.
Most irony is humorous but not all humor is ironic. Is that irony? Maybe it's just that funny is simply in the eye of the beholder, metaphorically.
Exploring amusement today, we've found:
* Prophetically Correct reporting. Man, has this been copywritten? Nice labeling and minus the missed rapture call back in the 80's, a good place to be tuned in for your local apocalyptic reporting. Don't miss their definitions of funny, here and here.
* PC vs MAC war wages on. More rants on, but who's counting?
* Compassionate Conservative-ism applies only to large donors and compassion for conservation isn't even a blip on the radar.
* Comparative studies on issues................scored by count of opinions. Um, yeah. 30 Helens agree, therefore the 15 Tammys are wrong.
* Independent 9/11 commission to submit findings back to White House for vetting before release. Dear Mr. Fox, Please babysit hen house. Please behave.
* Democratic Convention being planned, apparently by the project managers from the Big Dig.
* Hans Blix reports, Mission Accomplished in Iraq. What exactly was the mission?
I wanted to write a verse
that used the word quagmire.
All the lines seemed overly terse
and kept rhyming with Talia Shire.
keeping the day job.
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!
If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!
You are Paul Krugman! You're a brilliant economist
with a knack for both making sense of the
current economic situation and exposing the
Bush administration's lies about it. You
somehow came out as the best anti-war writer on
the Op-Ed staff. Other economists hate your
guts for selling out to the liberals. To hell
Which New York Times Op-Ed Columnist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
* Was it an accident that Curt Cobain took his life 10 years ago today, on the anniversary of Martin Luther King's assassination?
* If you aren't reading "Bush at War" by Bob Woodward, you should be. I left mine on the nightstand for 6 months before picking it up. It's even more relevant now.
* Kos flambe' seems to be the flavor of the week and his apology/explanation not well accepted. The fallout's been brutal and to those bloggers and the candidates who cowtowed to the vitrolic backlash, shame on you. Kudos to those that have the temerity to defend him. The deaths of our troops in Iraq are horrible, lamented and coming way too frequently these days. The difference though between them and the "hired corporate guns" is their sworn duty to uphold the constitution and represent the US of A and not simply Halliburton and it's interests. Well, that and the type of ammunition they're allowed to use. Any and all deaths incurred in this invasion/ occupation/ liberation is worth mourning............ moreso though for the soldier making $25K a year serving his country than the mercenary making $100K+ serving a defense contractor. My $.02 and since no one funds this site but me, I don't care who I offend.
* 3 days and counting until Condi testifies. PVR ready.
Links of Interest Laconically Headlined.
- DicknBush perform Edgar Bergen/Charlie McCarthy routine.
- Tony Blair, more of a lapdog than originally thought.
- McCain pulls a Zell, minus the pod.
- Gary Hart's commission also warned Condi........... proof nothing happens in a vacuum.
- John Dean criticizes the Bush administration....G. Gordon disagrees "We were worse".
- GOP spin machine also hard at work in Iraq.
- Solution: RFID tags in all flak jackets.
- Journalist scramble to find other words for "Quagmire".
Our Justification for Keeping Oil Prices Low
Short, sweet, to the point and not as amused as I'd like to be today.
- Miss the Sloganator in it's original form? All the best one's have been captured and compiled for your viewing pleasure.
- What?! The DicknBush campaign is using resources from the Treasury Department to research for ads? When did this become acceptable behavior?
- Air America Radio. That is all.
- It's little details that keep ya wondering precisely what the true goal is.
- Folks, the US dead in Iraq hit 600 yesterday. Can we be done yet? If this is what our troops get when the people are unhappy with the occupation, what's going to happen to the interim government when the people decide they're not being properly represented? Civil war, anarchy, more of our troops as protection?