Christian Exodus. Okay. There is IGNORANT and then there is THIS SHIT. WTF?! Live and let live. Certainly. I don’t give a shit if you speak in tongues and handle snakes at your little Bible meetings. It doesn’t bother me if you roll on the floor when overtaken by the Holy Spirit. Hell, you want to swim in a tub with your pastor and call it a baptism? KNOCK YOURSELF OUT CLETUS! It’s your right to do so. But check this out: There are OTHER RELIGIONS BESIDES CHRISTIANITY! Yea, how ‘bout that? Stop living your life in FEAR of anything different from you and you might learn something. Holy First Amendment, Batman! This level of fear is tragic. TRAGIC I say. Tragic and painfully stupid. AND they’re giving Christianity a bad name to boot. You know the kind where you practice kindness and love and that whole do unto others thing? The kind that JESUS practiced? This fear-mongering, hate-filled, smite thee if you disagree BULLSHIT, is NOT Christianity! It’s a motherf*cking CULT. It’s Jim Jones and David Koresh and Charles Manson on a grand scale. And most of all it’s just plain ole, garden variety INSANE. That’s right, bats in the belfry, chink in the armor, suffering from marble deficiency, a few clowns short of a circus, one putt short of a par, a few fries short of a Happy Meal - INSANE. And it doesn’t surprise me (oh how I wish it did) that it was founded in Texas. What are these people SO AFRAID OF? How is it that they have allowed FEAR to rule their lives so completely?
Upon visiting some of my fave blogs, I see that this subject is like an airborne virus. It's everywhere! Oh sure, we've been battling the religious right for a while now, so nothing new there. But check it out. This is currently THE hot subject amongst bloggers! Blondesense's coverage of "The Reverends on Meet the Press" is a must read. (Be sure to read both Parts I and II.) Then check out the Rude Pundit's latest entry, "Christ Weary."
Let's see George Will providing this sort of relevant information when he's 84.
Blue Islands, Red Seas. More on what the editors over at Stranger.com identified as the Urban Archipelago. Whatever we want to call it, the truth is “the real great divide in American politics is not between red and blue states, but between urban and rural voters.” And then there’s this. Like I’ve been saying folks, Dems need only tend to and grow their base – urban areas. We capture the votes of the cities, we don’t need the ‘burbs or rural areas. Concentrating on the urban vote is all a democratic candidate needs to do in order to win in 2008.
“They hate our policies, not our freedom.” Not that the facts will suddenly, miraculously become relevant to BushCo but JESUS, MARY & JOSEPH! So okay, this Federal advisory committee (the Defense Science Board) provides independent advice to the Secretary of Defense. What did they find? (1) The wars in Afghanistan and Iraq have united otherwise-divided Muslim extremists and given terrorists organizations like Al Qaeda a boost by "raising their stature." (2) The US has not only failed to separate "the vast majority of nonviolent Muslims from the radical-militant Islamist-Jihadists," but American efforts may have "achieved the opposite of what they intended." (3) The board calls for "an overhaul of public diplomacy, public affairs and information dissemination efforts by the Pentagon and State Department." QUELLE SUPRISE! No WONDER the Pentagon “quietly” released this report in the late afternoon last Wednesday right before the start of an extended national holiday. Jesus H. Christ! The level of incompetence exhibited by BushCo is absolutely mind boggling. A couple of ten-year-olds playing RISK could do better!
More “My God’s Dick is bigger than Your God’s Dick.” Ah yes. More bilge spewing forth from the mouth-breathers. Have these morons NO education? How about HISTORY? Were they never even required to read AMERICAN history? I mean, it’s relatively short so one would assume that they would’ve at LEAST made it through the history of the GODDAMN country where they actually reside, no? Hell, I received a public school education in back-asswards MISSISSIPPI and even I studied the United States Constitution. The level of fear displayed by these Christian fundamentalists is so completely removed from reality it’s astonishing. It definitely exposes an inordinate amount of highly effective programming. It’s the very reason they are SUCH an easy mark for the Repugs.
Well THIS should really piss them off. The US Supreme Court rejected without comment a challenge by conservative groups to the legality of same-sex marriages in Massachusetts, the only US state allowing such unions. That’s right you pompous bigoted hypocrits. “The Gays” can marry in Mass! Even “Sam from Nebraska” thinks it’s okay. Deal with it.
Paralyzed woman walks again after stem cell therapy. A South Korean woman paralyzed for 20 years is walking again after scientists say they repaired her damaged spine using stem cells derived from umbilical cord blood. Yup, that thar science kin come in real handy-like, cain’t it? Whee doggie!
Showdown over medical marajuana. Okay conservative justices. ROCK >> YOU << HARD PLACE. Will conservative justices support federalism even when it means upholding a liberal marijuana-use law that they would probably never otherwise endorse? Stay tuned for more scintillating discourse on the subject!
The war in Iraq has made moral cowards of us all. Scott Ritter, senior UN weapons inspector in Iraq between 1991 and 1998 asks, “More than 100,000 Iraqis have been killed - and where is our shame and rage”? Indeed. I’ve been asking myself that very same question daily since November 3rd.
Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I've said that...
More News with Less Reverence
* Dear underpaid Red State voter, they're your taxes, you should know how they're being manipulated. Wasn't it Bush who said, "It's your money". Remind him.
* The dominant paradigm is wrong. Forget everything you've heard. Unlearn the learnin'. The Defense Department has determined Muslim's hate our policies not our low price bacon, trash TV, penchant for styrofoam and the overwhelming need to express our "freedom through dicksizing.
* My Eyes! My Eyes! Oh the pain! The hor...ror. Will Volume One, Edition Two have "Eagles Soar" on it? On the upside, he did make us safer and has booked Rapmaster Ridge on the Clue Train ride outta DC.
* Suzanne Fields this week, takes time out of her vastly crowded schedule to provide a public service for all the red-staters. She reviews "Desperate Housewives" and determines what's really missing from her own life, besides desperation and a wife... the answer to the question 'what do women want'.
* Isn't this supposed to be 4-8 year progression when you're *in* office?
* The best defense is a strong offense. We should give these guys millions of dollars a month and an open credit line with our defense contractors.
Sustenance for Consideration
* Absolutely fascinating that after centuries of intellectual growth, there are still those who hold firmly to the belief system that the world was created by an unseen god within a non-standard work week. Passed on as truth to us, by people who believed in slaughtering lambs to ensure a good crop and talking burning bushes. Maybe, just maybe, this creator wanted us to discover carbon dating for a reason. Maybe we were meant to figure out the keys to evolution and to learn from the lesson of survival of the fittest to become, in fact, the fittest. Maybe? Why does Moses' interpretation carry more weight for some than a modern day paleontologist? This is the guy who led an entire nation of people in circles in the desert for forty years and made them eat crushed gold dust when he got pissed off. It's fine to want to base a dogma off a guy like this, it's another thing to use it as the cornerstone of science.
I've got a bad feeling that The Real Gilligan's Island might be from column A. It's a reality show consisting of two teams based on the familar cast -- two Gilligans, two Skippers too, two millionaires and his wifes, two movie stars, two Professors and two Mary Annes, there on Gilligan's Isle. And they do stunts based on plots from the original TV show.
It's not clear whether they earn points for having the Professor successfully create a tachyon emitter from a conch shell and a coconut, or if they earn points from having Gilligan screw everything up at the end.
I don't think my liver could handle the amount of alcohol necessary to make watching this seem worthwhile.
Rolling Stone asked seven retired military leaders what has gone wrong in Iraq.
Gen. Merrill "Tony" McPeak
Air Force chief of staff, 1990-94
The people in control in the Pentagon and the White House live in a fantasy world.
Adm. Stansfield Turner
NATO Allied commander for Southern Europe, 1975-77; CIA director, 1977-81
Iraq is a failure of monumental proportions.
Lt. Gen. William Odom
Director of the National Security Agency, 1985-88
It's a huge strategic disaster, and it will only get worse.
Gen. Anthony Zinni
Commander in chief of the United States Central Command, 1997-2000
But the military was unprepared for the aftermath. Rumsfeld and others thought we would be greeted with roses and flowers.
Lt. Gen. Claudia Kennedy
Army deputy chief of staff for intelligence, 1997-2000
Iraq is a blood bath, and we need to be dealing with this in a much more sophisticated way than the cowboy named Bush.
Gen. Wesley Clark
NATO supreme Allied commander for Europe, 1997-2000
But let's ask this question: Have you seen an American strategic blunder this large? The answer is: not in fifty years.
Adm. William Crowe
Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, 1985-89
We screwed up.
Read the whole thing.
Tragedy reveals itself as farce in Zimbabwe:
Zimbabwe has come up with a bizarre proposal to solve the food crisis threatening half its population with starvation. It wants to bring in obese tourists from overseas so that they can shed pounds doing manual labour on land seized from white farmers. The so-called Obesity Tourism Strategy was reported last week in The Herald, a government organ whose contents are approved by President Robert Mugabe’s powerful information minister, Jonathan Moyo. Pointing out that more than 1.2 billion people worldwide are officially deemed to be overweight, the article exhorted Zimbabweans to “tap this potential”. “Tourists can provide labour for farms in the hope of shedding weight while enjoying the tourism experience,” it said, adding that Americans spent $6 billion a year on “useless” dieting aids. “Tour organisers may promote this programme internationally and bring in tourists, while agriculturalists can employ the tourists as free farm labour. The tourists can then top it all by flaunting their slim bodies on a sun-downer cruise on the Zambezi or surveying the majestic Great Zimbabwe ruins.”
Sounds pretty great, eh? Fly to Zimbabwe, try to find a farm that hasn't been turned into a moonscape by President Mugabe's hideous "land reforms", work there for free, and then show off your buff new bod on a luxurious cruise up the beautiful Zambezi river.
The article uses this anecdote as a hook on which to hang an observation about Robert Mugabe's continuing detachment from reality, and from there it's the same old miserable story about how a nominal policy of restitution for Rhodesian excess turned into a welfare program for the politically-connected and misery and destitution for everyone else.
Apparently, one-third of the population has fled the country.
Awful, awful, awful.
* Liberalism rampant on college campuses. News flash from George Will. OMG, can you believe it? You mean liberals are the only ones willing to suck it up and live on an academic salary, rejecting a cushy job at some think tank or spending weekends posing as a baseball loving curmudgeon? The horror. With these ratios it's amazing anyone graduates with as much free thought intact as the virgin Ben.
* Please don't lump all liberals into the victim column. Some of us are proud, vocal and very active. The navel gazing will end when the unexpected bat of reality smacks the distracted.
* Gay sharks angered over the recent negative portrayal of them in the movie "Shark's Tale". Cinematic liberties have caused a once counted on faction of the liberals to consider a switch with the Log Cabin Republicans after feeling that Hollywood no longer accepts them as they are. Beats being the gay daughter of a fundie.
* When asked, the troops responded with a resounding "hell yes!" whether they thought there should be less troops in Iraq. When informed there would be a troop removal lottery task force created by the hawks who put them there in the first place, their excitement diminished somewhat. After analyzing the 10 to 1 ratio of troops to insurgents and the success of that approach, the neo-cons have decided that the best way to combat the uprising is from town to town using the same troops. Nothing beats first hand experience.
* Ah, to be able to have family dialogue that could even reach this level of discourse.
Can you imagine Dirty Harry Callahan attending a highly effeminized church?
Dirty Harry is a rough, butt-kicking character portrayed on the movie screen by Clint Eastwood, an accomplished man and a noted actor and director. Envision Callahan pulling into the parking lot in a black Range Rover amidst a sea of minivans and station wagons.
Oh, the horror, all these ghastly parishioners who can't afford a $45K+ gas guzzler. Pussies.
.... continued after the jump.
Hesitantly, Harry gets out of his ride, straightens his Ray Bans, adjusts his jacket and begins the testosterone death march to the front door of the “sanctuary.”
Or as Doug refers to it, the 2nd floor Royal Palm Ballroom.
Ascending the steps toward the entrance of the church, fourteen women and one man greet Harry. The male greeter he’s forced to interface with is the kind of guy you wouldn’t want to have as your young son’s babysitter. I’m talking a Mango meets Dom De Luise amalgam.
The kind of guy one would see at a church who's mascot is the ass-end of a fleeing lion.
Moving past the “greeter,” Callahan is then hit with more contrived hugs than he would face at a Stuart Smalley-run support group. Attempting to avoid this barrage of groping, flabby, clutching arms belonging to people he doesn't know, but now is expected immediately to embrace, he tries to fade from view and take refuge against the wall. Unfortunately for him, he cannot hide because the floral arrangements in the narthex are so profuse that they make an FTD warehouse look like the Mojave Desert. With no other recourse, Harry frantically begins to move two big sprays and one gaudy wreath in a worried attempt to carve out a refuge from this molestation.
The only thing that makes Dirty Harry cringe and become the angry, yet powerless wallflower of yesteryear is a obese sweating cow, hugging in the name of Christ.
Finally, out of reach and trying hard to avoid eye contact with anyone, Harry starts whistling and locks his gaze on the artwork. On his right are six matching prints of fat baby angels in various Little Rascal poses; they look like they have a good buzz going from their mommy’s milk, laced as it is with Diet Coke and Xanax. Book-ending the baby angel prints are two Precious Moments posters: one shows Christ holding a bunny rabbit, and the other one shows Christ skipping while carrying a lamb. On Dirty Harry’s left are three pieces of art which depict Jesus, Peter and John the Baptist, all in aggravated states of angst, looking more like soft-focused and melancholic Victorian women than the men they were: masculine revolutionaries, heralds of truth, and rough pioneers of the greatest story ever told.
Forgetting completely that Dirty Harry is a character, played by an "artiste", Doug dives into the character's repulsion to the church's choice of artistic representation of stories intepreted by man and drawn by 'art fags'. Mr. Harry, in a fit of reality pulls out his Sharpie(tm) and colors in the skin tone to be more reflective of the region.
Finally it is go time. The service is begins.
Harry strides into the mauve and cream sanctuary, taking his seat amidst a crowd that is made up of 80% women, 1% masculine men and 19% quasi-males.
Dirty feels both underdressed and horny. Having not been surrounded by this much poontang since that hooker bust in '82, his testosterone was running unmodulated in high gear.
The music starts.
It is aphoristic, predictable and cliché-riddled. It is subjective, reflective, emotional and a bit erotic, with Jesus being sung to as “my lover.” After two hours of three chords and four songs, the worship leader commands the congregation to turn around and ... yep … here it goes again ... hug three people and tell them “you love them with the love of the Lord.”
Harry, being more of a Old Testament type who prefers the Lord's commandment to slay those who offend you, reaches for his trusty sidearm.
Harry can’t take it anymore.
He makes a quick strategic exit before he hurls on the pews because of the over-the-top, saccharine-laced liturgy.
After decompressing for several minutes and firing up a Montecristo #2 in the parking lot, Harry begins to process this little experience. He does the math and comes to this conclusion: if I convert to this sort of Christianity, then I must sacrifice not only my sins but my God-given innate masculine traits with which Jehovah naturally and rightly equipped me.
Mr. Dirty, having realized he was just run out of a building by metrosexuals and missies, places the barrel of his one-and-only love in his mouth, wraps his aged and lined, but no less pouty lips around the cold steel and immediately stains the interior of his Range Rover forever.
(blah blah blah......)
My ClashPoint is this: for all you Dirty Harry’s out there who have been rightly turned off by the girlie man culture of the pre-9/11 Church, you might want to re-visit the house of God. There have been some changes. Sure, there are still churches which are run by and appeal to soft, pudgy indoor boys who want to sit out on life, but many … many … houses of worship are realizing that difficult times demand change, and one area where the Church needs a change more than a 1-year-old baby who accidentally got into the ExLax is in relation to its feckless effeminate culture. Sure, there still are moronic malleable ministers who will forever be products of public opinion and perpetuate spineless spirituality. However, many pastors have realized that the Church and the nation need strong men in times of crisis.
Yay, Jesus! Manly men, putting the umph back in the pew.
With men returning to the Church and being welcomed for who they are and what they bring to the table, the lunatic left should expect to see their values and vices curbed and their policies opposed. With the Dirty Harry-like prophet, patriarch, warrior and wild man returning to the house of God, we can expect to see, once again, righteousness exalted in this nation and weirdness effectively mitigated.
Righteousness, spurred on through the increase in XY chromosomes marching as to war, with the cross of iconography... Remember folks, God's looking for a few good men. He's not happy with the ones he has.
Esther gave a quick nod, and while Sophie sat down, the girl went to the mantelpiece and began rearranging things on it. Soon she moved to the floor, where she began making a pattern with objects from the mantelpiece. She was sitting with her legs bent in inverted V's, and when she leaned back on her arms to consider her arrangement, Sophie saw that the front of her dress strained slightly. Her breasts were growing, and Sophie wondered if she had begun to menstruate yet.
Lynne Cheney's "Sisters", lovingly typed and posted on the internets for the one-handed reading pleasure of conservatarians everywhere.
* Breed, people! Get out there and make some babies you selfish twits. If you don't start reproducing we're going to have to start legislating birth control.
* Ironic how the US government is convinced there was voter fraud in the Ukraine but conviced everything here was on the up and up.
* Bush, working out a plan to rally the Democrats around his pre-emptive cause, hints at blowing up the Clinton library with a sub.
* Another frustrated Democrat willing to duke it out. via, a reader.
* The filibuster, it's not a risk... it's just doin' bidness.
* In the "I know you are but what am I?" category this week, John Leo pretends only Democrats say "over the top" comments... anyone wanna pull up some Dobson or Falwell archives?
* All your news.
* Late, but not too late, the best Thanksgiving Prayer, ever.
Shorter Leah McLaren: I know you are but what am I?
What a couple of Jackasses. First, Not-My-Preznit - SHRUB - displaying his usual ignorant-ass behavior at an event honoring a truly great leader and President, Bill Clinton. When the presidents were announced, Bush tried to push his way past Clinton at the library door to be first in line, against the already accepted protocol for the event, as though the walk to the platform was a contest for alpha male. Second, this douche bag. Mr. “I change Constitutions, I put churches in schools….” demonstrating his irrepressible charm. Dopey and Grumpy, just a couple of dwarves overcompensating for their tiny penises.
Our Moral Values. More from George Lakoff, author of the best-selling Don't Think of an Elephant! Know Your Values and Frame the Debate. “If we communicate our values clearly, most people will recognize them as more deeply American than those put forth by conservatives.” Let’s hear it for 55 million highly moral, patriotic Americans! HELL YEA!
Living in Sin. The Plaid Adder from November 17th. I’m a little behind in my reading because, well, I have a LIFE, but this one is worth checking out.
The Peter Principle and the Neocon Coup. This was posted in THE NATION online November 16th. I know, I know! See above item for explanation of dated-by-internet-standards material included in this post. BTW, The Peter Principle states that in a hierarchically structured administration, people tend to be promoted up to their "level of incompetence". There has never been a better example of the highest levels of bureaucracy being filled by the most incompetent, than the G.Dub Administration. Period.
NICHOLAS KRISTOF over at THE NEW YORK TIMES has a bet for Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, co-authors of the (No Bigoted-Homophobic-Right-Wing-Fundamentalist-Bible-Thumping-Fear-Mongering-Radical-Christian-Asswipe) LEFT BEHIND series. “This isn’t religion. This is brand management.” Hey Dudes, in case of Rapture, can I have your car?
Another Reason to Boycott Proctor & Gamble. Mark Morford, my fave columnist at the SF Gate, on The Rule of Gluttony and ScentStories. Saturation has been reached. Every new household product is now just a silly mutation, a gross plasticized landfill-clogging exaggeration of something simple and functional that came before, brooms to blenders to bread machines to the Swiffer WetJet to Scrubbing Bubbles™ Fresh Brush™ Toilet Cleaning System. You're choking on it.
The Bush Survival Bible. Sounds like it might be helpful and barring that, at least entertaining.
And I'll close with a few great quotes about War.
How is the world ruled and how do wars start? Diplomats tell lies to journalists and then believe what they read. -- Karl Kraus
To die for an idea is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true? -- H.L. Mencken
There are no warlike peoples -- just warlike leaders. -- Ralph Bunche
You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake. -- Jeannette Rankin
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. -- Groucho Marx
It's Friday, and that means that America's Worst Mother has another banal anecdote about herself and her delightful children: Xanth, Astrid, Phen-Fen, and Auxerre. Today, Meghan realizes that it's her responsibility to have that Special Talk with her kids, the talk that parents always dread because it signals the end of innocence. It's the lesson where the parent awkwardly gives a vague, highly technical explanation about how things work, hoping to God that the child won't ask any embarrassing questions, or indeed, any questions at all. I think you know what I'm getting at here. Meghan has to explain Where The Thanksgiving Turkey Comes From.
Now obviously, Meghan's first choice would be to pawn this job off on America's Worst Father, but it seems that Papa Gurdon has had to work late a lot ever since he got that new secretary. So he's nowhere to be found. A godless liberal parent would just let her kids learn the facts of the matter on the schoolyard, as generations of children have done. But Meghan is a above that. She writes for National Review, so she must do the honorable thing: She takes her kids to the library.
"Now, children," says the D.C. public librarian, peering over her glasses and looking around at the crowd of cross-legged children arrayed at her feet. "What do we think of, when we think of Thanksgiving?" A large gold broach glints on her chest. The radiators are blasting, the children have stripped off their sweaters, and we chaperones and teachers are loosening our collars.
A little forest of arms shoots up. "Turkey!"
So far, so good. But what Meghan forgot to account for is that this is a DC library, and that means that the librarian is a Democrat, and that means that she's a hippy, and that means that she's a vegan, and that means that she will not be giving the conservatively-correct Thanksgiving lesson that Meghan had planned on.
"That's right," affirms the librarian. She adjusts her glasses and holds up a book. "Now we are going to read a story about Thanksgiving. It is called: 'Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving.'"
Xanth climbs on my lap and covertly starts sucking her thumb. Phen-Fen keels over on a cushion in front of us and slips two fingers in her mouth. I think briefly of orthodontics and that joke about yachts, and leave them alone.
Google offers no relevant answers for "orthodontics and that joke about yachts" and if Meghan was thinking about the top hit for "yacht jokes" when she was looking at her daughter lying on a cushion, somebody had better call the cops.
"'Twas the day before Thanksgiving, and all through the trees…" the librarian begins, slowly unfurling out a story about a group of children who are taken to a farm to meet menacing farmer Mack Nuggett
Mack Nugget! Geddit? He's a poultry farmer and his name is MACK NUGGET!
and his flock of happy turkeys. The children frolic with the joyful birds until they encounter an axe — and the farmer explains its meaning. A few minutes later, with the farmer distracted, the children waddle, strangely stuffed, back into their bus and are driven away.
With a significant smile at the children, the librarian continues, "The very next evening, eight families were blessed… with eight fluffy Thanksgiving turkeys as guests. They feasted on veggies with jelly and toast…"
You can actually hear that old cartoon punchline Whaa whaa whaa whaaaaa sound being played here.
Meghan is suitably horrified and looks frantically around to see whether the rest of the parents are prepared to storm the barricades with her. The answer was no. There's a bit more whining from AWM, and the librarian, working under the delusion that she is there to entertain small children, leads the group in a little song-with-actions.
The librarian hits pause, and waves one finger, as if pointing to a high branch. Then, unbelievably, comes the Message, a neat little North Korean-motivational-calisthenics-cum-vegetarian touch: "When the cook came around/We couldn't be found/Five fat turkeys are we!"
That's right -- apparently singing a small song about turkeys outwitting a farmer on Thanksgiving is exactly the same thing as the North Korean government forcing people to do exercises in the town square. In a later column, perhaps Meghan will push the metaphor further by blowing the entire family food budget on Southern Comfort, forcing her children to go out into the countryside to forage for grass and twigs, just like a real North Korean child would have to do.
At this point I am goggling at the brazenness of her reeducation program, ...
Counterrevolution starts at home, so when the song is over I whisper into Xanth's ear, "I think turkeys are delicious. I am glad we have one to roast for our Thanksgiving dinner." She nods, thumb firmly in place. "Like the pilgrims had for theirs," I can't help adding, running-doggishly.
Ooooh, smash the fascist state, Meghan! The turkey-eaters of the world will rise up to overthrow the yoke of imperialist vegetarian oppression!
The librarian goes on to tell another story, and Meghan, with 600 words contracted for and only about 150 words of actual anecdote to tell, goes into further excruciating detail about the story's plot. It goes -- get this -- a woman has a turkey, and she doesn't eat it. Never saw that one coming.
The librarian beams around at the stupefied children. "That's my favorite kind of Thanksgiving story," she tells them. "The kind where the turkey doesn't get eaten."
"My favorite kind of Thanksgiving story," the well-informed boy says suddenly, "is the kind where the turkey does get eaten." I smile at him and feel a pang: He is so young
Yes, somebody had better call the cops.
"Ha-ha," says the vego-librarian. She can afford to laugh. In the course of one morning, she has skillfully indoctrinated 30 children in her cunning scheme to anthropomorphize the traditional Thanksgiving centerpiece fowl.
The poor kids, being exposed to different points of view. That's positively un-American.
"That was unbelievable," I remark to a fellow mother.
The column has a punchline. Can you possibly guess what it is? (no peeking) OK, did you guess? Here it comes:
"I know," she whispers, as if we are still under the eye of the jovial reeducator. "How many of these kids are going to want to eat their turkey after this?"
That Meghan sure keeps her cards close to her chest. Apparently, the point she was building up to is that sometimes small children have trouble dealing with the fact that the turkey they see at the farm and the turkey they have for dinner are the same thing. And the way to help children work through this is the same way an emotionally stunted suburban family deals with anything: DENIAL.
Seymour Butts presents: Too Hot For C-SPAN. (link is NSFW)
Sen. Joe "Mentum? I barely know him!" Lieberman was roused from his catatonic state for long enough to announce "I only watch C-SPAN for the articles!"
Update: Memo to me... Verify that this is not the FREAKING TOP FREAKING ITEM AT WONKETTE before posting here and acting like I'm Mr Clever Clogs. Gawd, what a poseur I am.
* Why top economists begin to speak in terms of "Economic Armageddon" every news outlet in the nation should be covering it. period.
* The overall tone of the nation will be interesting to watch in the upcoming years as this administration's decisions begin to manifest their results. Stay tuned kids, it's going to be a bumpy ride.
Nothing says lovin' like somethin' from the oven.
Colin Powell returned to the UN today to make the case for Iraq's voter preparedness. Bringing with him a stack of slides to bolster his credibility, he assured the council that, despite the recent violent uprisings and massive attacks, it is the opinion of the US goverment that elections proceed.
You might ask, "Why should I listen to advice from the man who made the mullet popular?", but David Bowie doesn't care what you think. He's going to tell you what album to buy anyway:
THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO SAY.So there you have it.
'THE ARCADE FIRE' HAVE THE ALBUM OF THE YEAR.
You must, simply must, buy it now, today, pronto. Quite the most beautiful, moving and passionate piece of brilliant song-writing and quirky performance I've heard in YONKS !!!
It's called 'FUNERAL' (Merge Records) and nothing else (and yes, I've heard the new U2) comes close.
Na na na na Na na na na Na na na na Na na na na LEADER
Years from now, political scientists will still be scratching their heads wondering how someone with zero charisma and zero personal accomplishments could be at the head of such a Maoist Cult of Personality.
This is for Doug:
I found the photo and the above title (my new fave Shrub nickname!) at BlondeSense.
FUNNY WOMAN! Check out her post that goes along with this photo.
Logic is sooo 2000
* When the NRO invokes Godwin's law to justify the killing of captured and unarmed insurgents by US troops is it a sign?
* That durn liberal media. Always going out of their way to protect the left and attack the right. Just no half way, is there?
* What a close call!!! Texas needs to be more careful. Attempts on Bush 41's life are not taken lightly by this administration.
The final version of the bill approved by both the House and Senate included just over $104 million for the community-based abstinence education grants
That's a 39% increase beyond the $70 million that was approved in the fiscal year 2004 version of the bill.
$104 million to tell teenagers not to have sex? I would have done it for half that and tossed in information on protecting one's self from STDs and pregnancy. We'd sure hate to raise a generation of frightened and ignorant youth who don't have the tools necessary to function in society, now would we?
-- An investigation is underway in Michigan in the death of an unborn child, which police say is the result of a 16-year-old girl allowing her boyfriend to beat her with a miniature baseball bat.
What culture might we have created that caused a teen to go to these extremes? Guess someone should have instituted a shotgun marriage and got these kids on the right track.
"If those initiatives are part of a broader effort to reaffirm lifetime fidelity in marriage, they're worthwhile," he said. "If they're isolated — if we don't address cohabitation and casual divorce and deliberate childlessness — then I think they're futile and will be brushed aside."
The decline of Western Civilization, DINKS shacking up. Good thing corruption in government or a non-ending war isn't having a negative impact. If you wouldn't take advice from this adminstration as to how to run your personal finances why in the hell would you take morality tips from them?
From the Washington Post:
[Senator Judd] Gregg and other allies of the president argue, in fact, that transition costs of $1.5 trillion or more over the next 10 years should not be considered an increase in the nation's debt. Instead, they say, such borrowing would be a prudent recognition of future obligations.
Get that straight: It's not debt, it's just a recognition of future obligations. You see, "debt" implies a future obligation to pay a certain amount of money, whereas this is merely a future obligation to pay a certain amount of money, which, as you can see, is totally different.
Enhancing international relations within the Western Hemisphere, Bush's Chilean pre-dinner entertainment included Greco-Roman wrestling, starring the Secret Service followed by a Dancing Bear and a Court Jester.
No one stuck around for the juggler.
Just In Case You Missed It
100monkeystyping are +1 again this week bring our total contributors to 3. Not so much to enhance or create balance (if Fox doesn't have to, neither do we) but to add flair, flavor and controversy.
Cheers and kudos to Lulu and Dave...
* 41 years is still not long enough for this to even be considered tasteful. Folks, it was one bullet, capable of making mid-air U-turns, maintaining original velocity and hitting two people. I know, the government told me.
* Misattributed to Homer Simpson, but an amusing approach to selective law usage from the Old Testament.
* It's one thing to be misdirected or misinformed but to be so completely deluded that you buy every line your party feeds you does you and everyone of your readers a disservice.
During the campaign they conjured up all these imaginary misdeeds that President Bush and Vice President Cheney had engaged in, from their fantasies that they lied about Iraqi WMD to the distribution of favors to Halliburton to augment VP Cheney's blind-trusted pocketbook. Each of their fraudulent claims was too preposterous to be taken seriously by any but the gullible class, many of whom were taken in by sheer repetition.
David, honey... you been sucking down the last of Rush's stash while he's in detox? Democrats have no illusion that this administration will take anyone's positions into consideration but their own. It would though, be refreshing as a Fresca in Death Valley if one piece of socially responsible legislation were allowed just enough sunlight to see if it'd grow into something that might help out the other 49% of the voting populace you so gleefully scorn. Putz.
One of the reasons I’ve never believed satanic ritual abuse narratives—the ones where the supposed victims are always being “groomed” (they always use that word) to become the high priest or priestess of the group—is that their stories are devoid of normal human complications. Nobody ever develops chest pains, and has to be gotten out of their ceremonial robes and rushed to an ER. Nothing funny ever happens. Nobody ever fluffs a complex ritual. The air conditioning never breaks down. There are no theological or procedural disputes, no arguments about bookkeeping, no rebellious music committees. Satanic covens are never incapacitated because the potato salad sat out too long before the pre-ceremony setup session potluck. But most tellingly of all, no satanic group is ever riven by dissension because a couple of its members have started selling Amway and they won’t shut up about it.
As John Kerry allegedly might say, "Who among us does not enjoy selling Amway at the local ritual sacrifice?" It's this lack of respect for traditional customs that prevents the Democrats from reaching voters in the Red states.
Fried Rice The Bushie who could spoil Condi's dream job. Yup. Every day I say to myself, “What fresh hell is this?!” Indeed. Bolton is bad news and the Shadow Government appear to be coming out into the light. Apparently, YEE-HAW! IS a foreign policy.
Republican Ethics. DeLay is one of the leading forces in making "Republican ethics" into an oxymoron. You want salf-of-the-earth? None saltier or earthier than Ms. Molly Ivins. One of the few real journalists out there today. Pity there are SO few.
UC Berkeley Research Team Sounds 'Smoke Alarm' for Florida E-Vote Count. Statistical Analysis - the Sole Method for Tracking E-Voting - Shows Irregularities May Have Awarded 130,000 - 260,000 or More Excess Votes to Bush in Florida. Research Team Calls for Investigation. Discrepancies this large or larger rarely arise by chance - the probability is less than 0.1 percent. Have you reached the point where your read about criminal behavior from this administration and their lapdogs (and let’s just BE REAL for a moment here, shall we? 0.1%!!!! PUH-LEEEEESE) and just shake your head in disbelief but then experience that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach because you KNOW it won’t matter? Facts have ceased to be relevant. Asking questions is unAmerican. Wanting answers is unAmerican. Being able to think for yourself is a handicap. Being ignorant is a matter of pride. Being good little sheep while being led to the slaughter is patriotic. And on, and on, and on, and on, and………
Clinton Rips Starr, Media on Prosecution. In an interview with ABC news anchor Peter Jennings Bill Clinton blasted Ken Starr and spoke disdainfully of a national media that he suggested was complicit in a scheme to ruin his presidency. Go Bill, Go Bill, It's yer birthday..... The fact that this man was able to accomplish anything while in office during all this crap is nothing short of miraculous. Leaders like former President Clinton are all too rare. One does come to mind though. Save us from the criminals Barack Obama!
Brand Democrat. You’ve probably all seen these by now, but just in case you haven’t! Great branding for the Dems. These need to air as commercials beginning NOW on primetime television and for the next four years over, and over, and over. Everyone should be reminded DAILY!
The following quote can be attributed to whom? “Let us pray in this hour that nothing divides us, and that God will help us against the Devil! Almighty Lord, bless our fight!” Survey Says! Oh, I'm sorry but that is incorrect. It was this guy. No, our Preznit said this.
Know which corporations bankrolled the GOP? Interesting reading. Some of it quite surprising if not downright disturbing. By the way, YUM brands = A&W Rootbeer, KFC, Long John Silvers, Pizza Hut and Taco Bell. Yo quiero My Country!
Some things are just worth fighting for. I have not the words.
Doing what they were hired to do
The vast lame-duck spending bill was halted this week, not by gross incompetence (which was justification enough), but by language inserted by Rep Istook from Oklahoma. Seems his GOP mantra's not less government as his provision would allow Congress access to the IRS returns of any citizen they choose. Why in the world would a congresscritter feel the need to build a snoop provison into a spending bill already so lopsided and porked out that it doesn't even come close to reflecting the public's needs.
Excerpted from Reuters
The Senate voted 65-30 for the legislation late on Saturday that sets aside funds for a range of priorities including a presidential yacht, foreign aid and energy. It is one of the final pieces of work for the 108th Congress and they may return to finish a spy agency overhaul before the end of the year.
Nothing's as important to the health, safety and welfare of the United States of America as a Presidential Yacht. Keeping with the administration's trend toward sucessful policies, they'll be naming the boat, the S.S. Minnow.
Some last minute increases were allowed for favored White House projects like NASA space programs.
"We banged our way to the moon, now we're going to bang our way to Mars".
Partisan fighting continued on Saturday as Democrats raged over a Republican-introduced measure in the spending bill making it easier for hospitals to refuse to provide abortions or abortion counseling.
On K Street, this is called whittling. Erosion of exisiting laws through buried treasure in omnibus spending bills. Since when did a hospital's judgement have anything to do with the congressional budget? Where's the "tort" reform for politicos who want to do nothing but futz with other people's lives?
The bill sets aside $23 billion for the Department of Energy while foreign aid programs will get $19.4 billion. Those were increases from 2004 but less than Bush requested. The bill funding the Departments of Transportation and Treasury will get $89.9 billion, less than last year and Bush's request.
Increases in spending but *less* than the President wanted? Fiscal discipline should have been the resounding mantra in the 2004 election. Apparently same sex marriage trumped our reliance on the international financing of our debt.
The bill also dropped language that would have challenged new Bush rules on overtime and travel to Cuba and to extend milk subsidies for small dairy farmers.
To all the hourly workers, Cuban immigrants and small farmers who voted Red in 2004, happy now?
On another tricky issue, the compromise bill included $577 million in funding for a nuclear waste site at Yucca Mountain in Nevada but dropped language that would reclassify fees paid into the Nuclear Waste Fund.
Dear Nevada, please shore up your fault lines.
The Rest of Us.
But it cut $1 billion from Bush's $2.5 billion request for the Millennium Challenge Account, a new program to encourage economic and political reforms in poor countries. Advocacy groups were disappointed with the level of funding for the Global Fund to fight HIV/AIDS.
Extra funding to fight wars in other countries but less money to help reform countries in ways that could prevent uprisings and civil wars? Good idea. Those don't support the war machine. By not funding education programs to prevent AIDs, aren't then we culpable in the long term affects of this decision?
Doing unto others
* God loves Tom DeLay, there's no other logic justification how a man, this vile, this corrupt and this illegally funded could continue without some sort of mandate from a higher power.
* To fight this new type of Republican agenda, there's some re-tooling that needs to occur.
* Why are our military commanders asking for more troops? Didn't they get the Rummy mandate? Bush scored capital and the will of the people in the 2004 election not more troops. Capital.
Catty & Petty
* The First Family's Christmas list this year will include, animal behavior training and a girdle.
War, Blowback & Free Trade
* After toppling the Taliban government in Afghanistan, our first order of business was
installingnuturing a new government. Instead we enhanced free trade and created an exploding economy after we allowed the warlords to continue unabated. So, will we re-enter with vast armies in a year or so, merging the War on Some Drugs with the War on Terror?
* As we sit at home in our squishy lazy-boys and watch the santized "news" reports coming in from Iraq, we need to remember it's real. Both sides are losing people in vast numbers. The rhetoric now that's reduced angry Iraqi citizens to the category of "terrorist" is the same rhetoric that's desensitizing us to their plight and the same logic that got us there in the first place. For giggles, go rent "Red Dawn", were the Wolverines terrorists? If you invade a country and after establishing reason one no longer is valid, accomplish objective two and still stick around without starting the promised rebuilding and the locals rise up, they're partisans, not terrorists. Historically, invading/occupying forces never win against local partisans.
* Cross dressing is like drugs, you start out small... and suddenly you're hooked on pumps like Imelda Marcos with an unlimited cap on a credit card.
* Rather than overhauling or rewriting the tax code, let's just expand the loopholes currently available to the more wealthy Americans.
* I'm convinced the only people arguing for Hillary to run in 2008 are Conservatives. Democrats know her chance is equal to that of an ice cube in DeLay's final resting place. Anyone believing differently is deluded.
* Oliver Willis captures the heart of the Democratic party.
* Democrats miss the Old Testament laws the conservatives want them to follow, missing the cloven hooved/fowl laws. Stay tuned for further posts on OT laws we should consider.
* I will be going out of my way this holiday season to make my trek to the Holy Land.
With all the changes being made within the White House and the Cabinet it seems appropriate that the flag be adjusted to reflect the contents.
Speaking of the cabinet, incoming nominees get facial smoochies... what do the outgoing people get?
The SorryEverybody Phenomenon. When I first stumbled upon this website on November 4th it was so incredibly comforting. (It still is.) I emailed these guys and told them they should be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. They are doing more to spread goodwill for America than anyone on the planet. (And it will take a hell-of-a-lot to counteract the damage already done by Bushco.) Mark Morford at the SF Gate concurs. Sorryeverybody.com has broken the cardinal rule of Bush's bitter neocon agenda: no matter what the atrocity, no matter how grossly botched the war or how insidious the WMD lie or how debilitating the world-record deficit or how brutal the attack on the environment, if there's one thing the GOP simply does not do, it's apologize. Oh, and here’s another story about the website!
Frame Wars. Essential reading. Understanding “frames” and using them to your advantage is critical to winning an election. It’s all about language. The Karl Rove Marketing Machine knows this game better than anyone. It's time we take a page from their playbook.
In this struggle to control political reality through language, you don't dispute specific words or rebut the facts; you don't even attack your opponents' frames. What you do is assert your side's frame, making it so big, so omnipresent, so unavoidable that it's as natural as talking about the roundness of the Earth. Disputing such a fact seems counterintuitive. Even heretical.
As long as liberals and progressives insist that having the facts on their side is all that matters, they are doomed to impotence. The next move for the left in the frame war is to accept that it's okay to cherry-pick reality as long as it conforms to a frame that's morally acceptable. According to Lakoff, we already do it every day.
A Plague of Toadies. Maureen Dowd in the NY Times. Now, loyalty trumps competence. W., who was the loyalty enforcer for his father’s administration, is now the loyalty enforcer for his own. Those promoted to be in charge of our security, diplomacy and civil liberties were rewarded for being more loyal to Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney than to the truth.
White House to ‘gut’ the CIA. Thank you Molly Ivins! That's what I was most afraid of in the next four years: the complete closing of the circle, the old Bush emphasis on loyalty as the first and most important asset, above brains, judgment or expertise. Bush has been making this mistake for years, and it is clear it will now get worse. The clash of ideas is not welcome in his office. He wants everything solved in a one-page memo. This effectively limits him from being exposed to anything but obsequious third-rate thinking. It's precisely how he got into Iraq.
Intolerance is not a ‘Value’. Here's what Republicans of conscience have to understand about the machinations of Karl Rove and company. Fear isn't some emotion that can be easily bottled back up after it's been -- viciously -- unleashed. It isn't a once-every-four-years vehicle that can be wheeled out for a few months, then stowed back in the garage to be retooled for the next election cycle. It puts men and women in communities across this country at personal and professional risk. There's nothing more despicable than creating a phony political issue and preying on people's prejudices.
Meet the new Republican senators. Five of them hope to make your worst nightmares come true. The hell you know IS often preferable to the hell you’ve yet to experience. See what FRESH hell awaits in the new year!
Top Billings. How a Montana Democrat bagged the hunting and fishing vote, and won the governor's mansion. A little good news and reason to have hope.
Prophetic words from H.L. Mencken...
"As democracy is perfected, the office of the president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."
In Other News
* Heterosexuals are now taking marriage and commitment to another level while working tirelessly to deny it for others... and they say irony is dead.
* American's love affair with SUVs boiled down to a sense of safety, passive over aggressive. Read this with our approach to Homeland Security and the administration's rhetoric in mind.
* Someone with a heart made a web page. They don't speak for Dobson, Falwell, Robertson and all the others getting massive airtime. Which, does nothing but bolster justification for their long list of morality causes.
* When your intelligence agency can't tell the difference between England and the US, can you call it the best intelligence?
So there are those in this country who wonder why so many American citizens feel the need to apologize to the rest of the world. “’Tis a puzzlement!” they seem to be saying. WHY are we sorry? WHY do we (the reality-based community) feel the need to apologize to the world?
(Fasten your seatbelts boys! This is going to be a bumpy ride.)
I’m so glad you asked, you selfish, self-absorbed, oblivious dolts.
And don’t give me any of this shit about “Kerry would not have done anything differently in Iraq.” Okay? Because – you festering hemorrhoidal assholes – KERRY IS NOT THE DOUCHEBAG WHO GOT US THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE! Get it? Can I possibly make this any clearer for you dimwitted pinheaded imbeciles who are so clearly out of touch with reality? I don’t give a bloody shit what Kerry “might or might not have done” to get us out of the rotting quagmire that is Iraq today. John Kerry isn’t the one responsible for unilaterally and without provocation bombing the shit out of some country out of pure bloodthirsty GREED. And LYING to the nation about it to boot. John Kerry was LIED TO just the same as the rest of us. And all of your campaign rhetoric and lies and propaganda mean nothing. Zip. Nada. Goose Egg. Can’t you understand that this isn’t about winning a freakin’ election? This isn’t about Democrat or Republican. This is about the FACT that while BushCo try to prove to the world that they have the biggest schlong, people are being murdered, maimed, ripped to bloody pieces – and not just American soldiers.
I guess killing folks who aren’t inside you is okay, huh? Or maybe it’s okay if they're in a foreign country? Maybe it’s okay if we only maim and kill the BROWN people? So I guess the Neocon version of “right-to-life” starts at conception and ends at birth? What would Jesus do, my lily white ass! The next time I see one of you jackals picketing outside an abortion clinic with some horrific picture of a bloody fetus, I’m going to whip out one of these pictures. NOT IN MY NAME you detestable, know-nothing jackasses!
There isn’t one single, solitary thing that Kerry “would have done” that would even COMPARE to the damage BushCo has already done to the good name of America and its citizens. The abhorrent actions and resulting injury to our PLANET executed by G.W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Karl Rove et al will take years to repair. I can’t even venture an estimate. For that reason and that reason alone Shrubya does not deserve to be our president for another four years and THAT – you thickheaded shortsighted simpletons – is why I’m sorry. These men are not leaders. They are criminals. I am quite frankly dumbfounded that you cannot see it.
You’re Goddamn right I’m sorry. I’m ashamed he’s our president. I’m heartbroken. I’m angry. I’m mortified. I LOVE THIS COUNTRY AND IT IS WITH THE UTMOST PATRIOTISM THAT I WILL NEVER CEASE QUESTIONING THE OBDURATE ACTIONS OF THIS ADMINISTRATION. WHY? Because you mindless, heartless jerks, PEOPLE ARE DEAD. PEOPLE ARE DYING. NOW. AND NOW. AND NOW. AND NOW. AND, oh yea, NOW. And every freaking minute of the live-long day for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON and Bushco is to blame. Don’t talk to me about “moral values.” Where is your OUTRAGE at the inhumanity?!
Offended by my language? Interesting. You know what I find offensive? (Besides your monumental ignorance.) This. Offended by my anger? Well too bad. I will not apologize for being angry. This is a very human (and yes, passionate) response to the destruction visited on mankind by The President of the United States and his Administration because they are thoroughly, completely and astoundingly INCOMPETENT as well as loathsome and self-serving.
And although the War in Iraq is but ONE of the colossal blunders carried out by the Busheviks, THAT, you dangerously misinformed and myopic trolls, is more than enough reason to be REALLY, REALLY, INCREDIBLY SORRY.
I hope this clears things up for you. I, however, harbor no illusion that you will grasp any of it. I do thank God that I live in a country where I am able to state my opinion without fear of retribution from my government – for the time being anyway. And I am grateful to the geeks who made the internet a reality for the forum in which I could share my point of view. Whether or not others comprehend the depth of my sorrow for this country and the origin of that sorrow, I needed to express it.
* To those who contend that the Constitutional amendment on same sex marriage doesn't breed hate, I would argue it plants the seeds needed to germinate those emotions.
* Paranoid yet? I thought we needed to protect ourselves from "them" not "us".
* Backscratching 101.
* The outgoing Secretary of State developed a bit of a credibility gap as a result of his tenure... the incoming one, brings one with.
Powell: "Mr. Bush, please accept my resignation." Bush: "Condi, get this turncoat outta my sight."
* Good news, we've got control of 100% of Fallujah. Bad news, we're no longer taking prisoners and are closing in on Saddam's legacy.
* Boycott Proctor & Gamble, they put gay-suggestive ads in gay magazines. We hate target marketing and have spies out buying fringe periodicals just to stay angry.
* Bush is making the best of Clinton's *gutted* military right? We're not supposed to be nation builders and yet here we are on two fronts fighting and rebuilding. Clinton was just making it leaner and meaner, like the Rumsfeld approach to deployment of troops in Iraq.
* Let's form a coalition of outrage and get Crossfire fined by the FCC. Apparently it only takes 0.0000010274% of the population to get a show fined. Start with Bob "leaks like a full Depends" Novak, moving on to James "cranial rectal inversion" Carville.
* Tell me again why the leader of the Democrats in the Senate isn't the same person selected as the best candidate for a Democratic President? Don't dare us the "playing it safe" logic.
* Whatif whatif whatif... the GOP moderates all bail?
* Why does it matter, at all, what James Dobson thinks about policy or nominees for cabinet positions or judicial appointments? Why is the press allowing him to weigh in?
* Too much time on one's hands and an overwhelming fear of oral sex is a bad bad combination.
According to the whizbangs over at Free Republic, Cheney is apparently well endowed. So much so they just went all ga-ga. Then, in a fit of sanity, dumped the thread. A little foresight combined with a Google cache grab and we've got ourselves some posterity.
Quotes that prove that there is nothing new under the sun.
Fanaticism is....overcompensation for doubt. ROBERTSON DAVIES, The Manticore, 1972.
The most henious and the most cruel crimes of which history has record have been committed under the cover of religion or equally noble motives. GANDHI (1869-1948), Young India, July 7, 1950.
There is perhaps no phenomenon which contains so much destructive feeling as "moral indignation," which permits envy or hate to be acted out under the guise of virtue. ERIC FROMM (1900-1980), Man For Himself, 1974.
Do not despair. “Democrats are now emphatically the minority party. This doesn't mean we give up; it means we take a page from the Republican playbook, refining and relentlessly pushing a vision of our own. We must rededicate ourselves to the urban core.” The editors over at THE STRANGER have some advice for Dems on what we need to do to win the presidency. Embrace our base! Divisive? You Betcha. Citizens of the Urban Archipelago the time has come to fight fire with fire. Why must we allow the Repugs to continue to frame this debate? We urbanites are the majority and it’s time to TAKE BACK OUR COUNTRY!
What happened to our progressive values? Where they went, and why—and how they might come back. “Today the Republican Party is not the right wing of anything; it is a band of violent radical reactionaries preaching medieval totalitarian bigotry. And Christianity as currently preached and practiced in Middle America is virtually Satan, by the standards of anyone who strives to follow the teachings of Jesus. We can hope that the terrorized will begin to come back from the darkness of the churches where they huddle, to look at the clear world outside…..our only option now is to hope that they wake up before the nation, and the globe, are irrevocably destroyed.” AMEN BROTHER! TELL IT! TELL IT! Can I get a WITNESS?!
We won. You just don’t know it yet. In other words: Good Things Come to Those Who Wait. “A disastrous second Bush term combined with the growing power of the cities. The trends are in our favor. Faith eked out a win over reality last week, but give it four years. Reality will bite back. In that, at least, we can all have faith.”
Dare we hope? This from THE ECONOMIST. Although Bush’s election seems like a triumph for the religious right, this article says, ” It may look like that, but liberals should think again before despairing.” The time has come, People. Tax the churches! Tax the churches! That’s all I’m sayin’.
Keep Checking in! Because today there are 395 pages of photos on (the new, improved, quick-loading!) SorryEverybody.com. Plus T-shirts, buttons and lunchboxes! And since imitation IS the highest form of flattery, these yokels are imitating this website (and very poorly I might add). These are some very scarey looking mofos. (Insert obligatory dental hygiene comment here.) Okay now everybody, in your best Monty Python British accent, say it with me, “Run away! Run away!”
Sometimes the truth IS funny. Or at least we have to find ways to make it entertaining. Look at it this way, The Daily Show has some awesome material for the next four years! You just can’t make this shit up, right? And oh yea, some more hilarious T-shirts – lots of Baynham - on this site! Go ahead - laugh! It's good for you.
* Chuck Colson, leading authority on soap retention in prison, clandestine government investigations, and the origins of man.
* Election plus 9 days and the religious right are already questioning the Bush administration's commitment to their "cause".
* Brad Carson on why sanity and reason don't trump ideology in this nation.
* I've been spending way too much time being scared of third world drugs being pushed on us by Canadians and not enough time worrying about the American drug companies hiding their life threatening side affects.
* Winning the war on terra through attrition.
Crap that makes you shake your head.
In short, people in the C.I.A. need to be reminded that the person the president sends to run their agency is going to run their agency, and that if they ever want their information to be trusted, they can't break the law with self-serving leaks of classified data.
Self serving leaks, yeah... cause that's an issue with who? Just stop running a security agency like a political campaign for once.
Guaranteed to offend some and amuse others.
I'll start things off with some lovely quotes.
People everywhere enjoy believing things that they know are not true. It spares them the ordeal of thinking for themselves and taking responsibility for what they know. -- BROOKS ATKINSON (1894-1984), Once Around The Sun, 1951.
In order to get at the truth, conflicting arguments and expressions must be allowed. There can be no freedom without choice, no sound choice without knowledge. -- DAVID K. BERNINGHAUSEN, Arrogance of the Censor, 1982.
An ideologue -- one who thinks ideologically -- can’t lose. He can’t lose because his answer, his interpretation and his attitude have been determined in advance of the particular experience or observation. They are derived from the ideology, and not subject to the facts. -- JAMES BURNHAM (1905-1987), Suicide Of The West, 1964.
Grab your Bible and Assume the Position. This from “The NASCAR Liberal” - Clyde’s Corner. “If you thought that the religious right was lacking in common sense before the election, just wait and see what happens over the next four years.” I love this guy! Mostly I love his picture because he looks like all the guys who attended my high school in Mississippi. Except he’s literate!
Evangelicals want faith rewarded. And all this time I thought they were going to be content with their reward in the great hereafter! Hmmm. They were banking on this being a pay-to-play Prez and pay they did but lo and behold things aren’t as rosy as they'd hoped. Never underestimate the power of karma, Fish-Boy. You paid the price of admission but that doesn’t necessarily make you Daddy’s favorite. Too bad. So sad. But thank you for playing!
Down With Fancy Book Learnin'. What's it mean that the big cities and college towns of America all voted blue? Mark Morford at the SF Gate hits another nail squarely on the head. And he never fails to make me laugh. Like Uncle Milty said, “Laughter is an instant vacation.” And who couldn’t use a little vacation right about now?
Our Tax Dollars, hard at work. I vividly remember Roger Thorson being taken to the principal’s office in 4th grade because someone overheard him say he wanted to kill the president. The principal explained that in the U.S. of A. you were to never say such things and Roger was sent back to class. I guess no one thought to call the Secret Service lo those many years ago and let them know about 10-year-old Roger’s plan. And Richard Nixon was the president! Then again, I suppose G.Dub has every reason to be a little paranoid.
The Wichita Eagle reports Food banks’ lines only grow longer. They voted for Bush and all they got was this lousy bread line.
Materialistic Madness - an unsustainable vision for an unsustainable society. America has come to be seen as the nation of me, my SUV and eye-popping portions of greasy French fries. The biggest test of America's moral values is whether we and our leaders find the courage to say that liberty for all means liberating ourselves from materialism before it drives us mad and makes us a target for the world's next madman.
'Evangelical Christianity Has Been Hijacked': An Interview with Tony Campolo. Uh-huh. Like I was SAYING!
I'm not yet convinced there's enough proof that changes in Ohio would overturn the electoral count, but these facts are very disconcerting.
November 3 - Toledo, Ohio Hundreds of angry Ohio residents marched through the streets of Columbus—Ohio’s Capital—this evening and stormed the Ohio State House, defying orders and arrest threats from Ohio State Troopers. "O-H-I-O ! suppressed democracy has got to go,"they chanted. After troopers pushed and scuffled with people, nearly a hundred people took over the steps and entrance to the State’s giant white column capital building and refused repeated orders to disperse or face arrest. People prepared for arrests, ready to face jail—writing lawyers phone numbers on their arms, signing jail support lists and discussing non-cooperation and active resistance (linking arms, but not fighting back).
All the news that's fit to piss and moan about
* Go read this on Kos. The best analysis (outside Juan Cole's work) on what makes the terrorists tick.
* Good justification for unions in white collar jobs.
* God 1 Satan 0 in double overtime.
* Concise and direct analysis of electronic voting and the lack of oversight.
* Frank Rich provides the Democrats with a thumbnail on how to readjust the message.... Hello, DNC!!!
* If you don't recall your history, you are doomed to repeat it. It's never to late to catch up.
* More analysis on the Texas SBOE's choice of textbook content.
* In the interest of progress, the University of Tulsa will be eveloping and erasing one of my favorite diners forever. I can't remember a time when the Metro Diner didn't exist and recall a period of time when, not a week went by that I didn't have at least 3 or more of my meals there. I wound up even, dating one of the waitresses at one point. So, this Thanksgiving, as I travel back to "native america", I'll pop back in and grab an order of spicy fries and gravy just for old times sake. Hoping to get the back booth that allows you to view all the comings and goings, suck down a bladder-sized shake and tell my kid about all the fun times we had there. Skipping, of course, the wilder and slightly illegal anecdotes.
Evidence is mounting that there was rampant vote fraud in this election. Something is amiss and the allegations made thus far need to be investigated no matter how much we’d prefer to believe they aren’t true. No patriotic American wants to believe that this could happen here but it is our civic duty to substantiate or refute these accounts. We have to uncover the truth and fix the problems that exist. If laws were broken then those responsible must be held accountable for their actions. It’s called democracy. Here are but a few ways to take action:
From MoveOn.org. Members of Congress are demanding an investigation. Support their call.
If the Politicians and the Parties Won't Do It, America's Citizens Will. Help America Recount!
Sign a petition which will be presented to the U.S. Congress "to immediately and without delay open a joint investigation into potential wrongdoing in the Presidential Election of 2004."
In other news, the Radical Right are uniting to prevent Sen. Arlen Specter from being appointed the head of the Judiciary Committee. Why is it these Yahoos are so bloody fond of the Second Amendment, and yet, can’t seem to grasp the First? If you can stand to read the crap on this website (and believe me, you need hip-waders to get through piles of shit this high) check out the Family Research Council website for all the gory details. Yes Folks! You’ll get straight from the horses mouth, or in this case, the OTHER end of the horse such wondrous statements as, “The Senate must not allow Sen. Specter to determine the makeup of our courts.” Hello Kettle? Yea, this is Pot. YOU’RE BLACK! Holy Mother of God. Defending Family, Faith and Freedom? Oh, I beg to differ. I ran across this pithy post (try to say that out loud without sounding like Cindy Brady) in my after-the-election reading. It was a comment posted by SecularAnimist on November 3rd here. Nobody has ever stated it better than this!
"The actual content of right-wing Republican evangelical Christian "morality" consists of (1) racism, (2) sexism, and (3) homophobia.
That's it, in its entirety. Right-wing Republican Christianity is a fascist, authoritarian cult that promises heterosexual white men eternal dominion over lesser beings -- i.e. non-whites, women and gays -- in return for their absolute obedience to the dogmatic dictates of a corrupt, self-anointed priesthood.
In my experience, to the religious progressives I have known, religion is about basic human values of kindness, compassion and respect, and about attempting to realize those values primarily through acts of service to others, particularly service to the impoverished, oppressed and otherwise needy.
To religious conservatives, however, religion is about obedience to dogmatic authority, whether that authority is Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell, or a bunch of right-wing child-raping Catholic bishops railing against John Kerry's support for a woman's right to choose abortion while ignoring the mass murders of tens of thousands of innocent Iraqi civilians committed by George W. Bush.
That's why religion has been and will be a more effective organizing tool for the right than for the left. Because right-wing religion is fundamentally about following orders."
Ah, that whole “following orders” thing. Damn if it doesn’t work exceptionally well to keep “the people” under control. If only the Gospel of Thomas had not been driven underground, disappearing until the Twentieth Century, and had replaced the Gospel of John in the Bible. What a difference it would have made to Christianity as we know it today! If only the Gospel of John was not used by Bishop Irenaeus of Lyon and others to define orthodoxy. You see, John, unlike Thomas, declares that Jesus is equivalent to "God the Father" as identified in the Old Testament. Thomas, in contrast, shares with other sacred teachings a belief that Jesus is not God but, rather, is a teacher who seeks to uncover the divine light in all human beings. John is supporting the “strict father model” while Thomas is supporting the “nurturant father model” - to use George Lakoff’s terminology. Why do you think the Gospel of Thomas was suppressed by the church and kept out of the canon? Because people who think for themselves won't blindly follow some nimrod who says he was appointed by Almightly God to be their leader.
We could pepper the commentary with thoughts like, "Republicans need to figure out how best to transfer the Messianic, homophobic rage of its base to a new leader."
As Texas Goes...
* Salon has a good piece on (bit late though) the Texas SBOE's removal of any information on contraception & STDs from the textbooks and retaining only abstinence recommendations. The first hand experience from someone who attended the hearings is much more powerful. With Texas as the driving force in textbook content for our youth, other states should have more say in what's being decided in the state with one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the nation. Ignorace is not bliss it's a tragedy waiting to happen. Set your Tivo or PVR of choice to record the rerun of Texas Teenage Virgins on Trio November 25th at 4.30 EDT. When the schools are looking to the churches to provide instruction on reproductive health we're collectively failing our children.
* Good news in
Texas Dallas is finally making news elsewhere. Bush barely carried Dallas County and inroads are being made to shift the county a vote at a time.
* The view from across the pond.
* Yes, there were voting issues. Were they, compounded, enough to sway the entire election or at a minimum, the swing states? Probably way to early to determine. What we do have is the information we need to make the changes necessary to ensure these types of problems do not resurface in future elections.
* 60-40 is much closer to a "mandate" than what we saw in last week's results. Yes the public spoke, but Bush does not possess the clout, capital and will of the people he believes he does.
* Give us your tired, your hungry, your huddled red state masses.
* Odds a peace accord of some sort gets implemented before complete chaos breaks out? Arafat's tight grip on power and lack of succession plan did not do the Palestinian people any favors.
* Somebody buy this for me for xmas. Puh-leeeze! I want preznit turkee.
* The GOP eat their own. Wonder what Arlen looks like on a spit?
* Roe v Wade will not be overturned by the courts. It will be slowly erroded by weak laws and idealogues.
* The long term impact of our protracted war in Iraq will be astronomical.
* To all those wanting to move to Canada... careful.
* Former Enron counsel to be nominated as Attorney General replacement. Kenny Boy seen cartweeling through the streets of Houston singing "Born Free".
Visual Food for Thought
All over the place and back again
* Focusing mostly on the Supreme Court's upcoming vacancy and the thought of John 'beat by a dead guy' Ashcroft filling the hole, I forgot to consider *his* power vacuum. Thankfully the voices of reason are already looking at qualified options.
* You know that early morning, looking in the mirror, cathartic rant you do by yourself. It was channelled onto the internet and captured for everyone's viewing pleasure.
* They misspelled prey. Boy howdy, no one needs a good prayer injection like a 2nd term president with both houses packed with like minded legislators who when it's all said and done, will have no opposition to blame for their failures.
* Alterman on the term, "liberal"
* Despite strong urging from the White House this week, Iyad Allawi said this week that the kidnapping of his extended family members has caused him to need to rethink the possibility that things aren't going as well as the talking points provided by the Bush adminstration had indicated.
* Sharon makes deal with new Palestinian leaders that will allow Arafat to be buried in Jerusalem... but only if he's buried alive as recommended by his wife.
* Voter counts upside down over the actual number of voters. Whodathunkit.
* In case your kids haven't figured out who in life to hate. Be sure to get them involved early. It builds character.
Sent in by readers
* Courtesy of Colin Powell: "Our European friends have no illusion that the president wants to have a strong relationship with all of our European friends and allies, notwithstanding any disagreements we have had in the past," he said.
* "George Bush - all the "fiscal conservatism" of a crack whore with a credit card."
* George Bush - "First president that will provide the nation with the only Presidential Library full of children's books."
* Allawi on the Iraqi elections: "May they go to hell," shouted the soldiers. "To hell they will go," Allawi replied.
Last week I bought one of those ubiquitous "Support Our Troops" ribbon magnets for the back of my truck. Primary reason was that $4.11 of the $5 was going directly to buy USO care packages for the troops and the other reason was that I thought it would compliment my "Texas Democrat" sticker nicely.
Someone else thought differently. I guess, in Texas, you're not allowed to support the troops *and* be a Democrat. It was on the tailgate when I got to work yesterday morning and was gone by the afternoon. Here's to the troops and to editorial thieves.
To the wanker who now owns the magnet, "You Support Nothing".
The monkeys are increasing contributors by a factor of 1. May it increase and enhance the controversy, dialogue and overall feel of the site. What can I say, we had a mandate and extra capital left over from the election and thought we'd spend it wantonly.
Hold tight, we may make it bumpy for y'all.
The United States' weapons inspection division has been busy this week, rooting out evil and finding missing munitions all over Iraq
* More news on our effective push to eliminate WMDs in Iraq. With successes like these, we should be done there in record time. Who again, is it that's ahead in the Iraqi primary race? Who are their candidates? Elections are ~2 months away.
* Suck up bandwidth, go watch this QT movie. Are we fighting for a cause or simply to increase revenues?
* Come on folks, let's just go ahead and call it a crusade. Honesty is the best policy.
* Your man won the White House, your party controls the Senate and the House what are you going to do now? Shoot Something!!!! Nothing says victory like a clean kill.
* Read my lips, no DRAFT. We have other methods with neater names.
* Spending earned capital. 52% of the vote, 52 weeks in a year, this means he gets to spend a percent of capital a month for the next 4 years and empty out his account just in time to open his library.
* Staying the course. Business as usual.
* Apologies to our friends overseas.
* Tom DeLay's finding a new home for god. In the public square. He'll be funding the new lodging out of his PAC.
* Reason 70432174213 to shake your head in confusion.
* Post election catharsis. Read, bang on something and then get busy.
* Stages of post election grief.
* I love getting links like this from my conservative friends. Democrats airing dirty laundry. Feck.
Elizabeth Edwards has been diagnosed with breast cancer. May she see a complete and healthy recover following all treatments.
In case you're curious how the new compassionate majority's handling this.
Despite their best efforts, the Democrat's GOTV efforts were soundly trounced on Tuesday by the divisive moral values "issues" touted by the opposition. The god/gay/guns battle cry was louder than the overwhelming need for change and progress in this nation. This focus was emphasized in Bush's speech yesterday.
Because we have done the hard work, we are entering a season of hope. We'll continue our economic progress. We'll reform our outdated tax code. We'll strengthen the Social Security for the next generation. We'll make public schools all they can be. And we will uphold our deepest values of family and faith.
Expect new legislation nation-wide regarding homosexuality and abortion. Assume they will gloss over divorce and adultery while doing little to shore up the other factors that directly impact the family unit; jobs, money and education. If the sole "values" trumpeted were true biblical views; love, understanding, honesty, and peace rather than dogmatic interpretations that create a nation wide rift in the populace it might be easier to support some of the rhetoric.
So today I want to speak to every person who voted for my opponent: To make this nation stronger and better I will need your support, and I will work to earn it. I will do all I can do to deserve your trust. A new term is a new opportunity to reach out to the whole nation. We have one country, one Constitution and one future that binds us. And when we come together and work together, there is no limit to the greatness of America.
As indicated by the last four years, this is more than likely a hollow promise and their policy of restricting information, blocking investigations and shutting down opposing views doesn't increase my faith that they'll adjust their primary goals. Odds the number of press conferences increase are slim. Townhall's take, I believe, indicates the true tone we'll be seeing over the next few months as they begin to chant the mandate mantra.
We must serve as a check on the angry liberals who are humiliated by the stinging defeats they suffered yesterday. They’ll be more desperate than ever, and thus more ruthless than ever in their attacks on our conservative policies. The liberals will twist the facts about tax relief, the war against terrorism, Social Security – you name it.
Honesty should never be confused as ruthless. Calling the administration and all elected leaders on their mistakes is not treason or unpatriotic, it's mandatory. They still have much to do and a second term is not a mulligan but a responsibility to fix what's been broken and right some wrongs.
Anticipate much of this type of rhetoric through the early part of the next year as the shrillest voices on the right try and put the opposition 'in their place'.
The Democrats are now talking about how this is a signal that Bush should “bring the country together”. Translated into American, this means “now that you’ve won, you should surrender to us.” The hell with that. We’ve won. Winning means not having to say you’re sorry. Bush already brought a majority of Americans together: they voted for him. He doesn’t need to reach out to them: they need to reach out to him.
But, whatever, we won: to hell with the rest of them. Those who didn’t support Bush can go and perform a certain anatomically impossible act. They lost, now they can sit in the back of the bus.
Thank God Almighty.
A well placed directional recommendation followed by a GFY and a veiled reference to bigotry followed by a god reference. It's this type of verbiage that makes one question the true commitment to morals and values trumpeted by the right these days. Just once, could we see something more in line with the Sermon on the Mount rather than an Old Testament battle?
Despite the overwhelming losses last night in the House, Senate and pResidential races, here in Dallas County we can take solace in the local judicial races. Picking up 4 bench seats with a new sheriff in town. The majority of the races both Dem and Rep were won by very tight margins, offering up enough hope to get us over this bone crushing surprise that's created the "national mandate".
Due to this unarguable mandate provided by the US voters, in both the popular and electoral votes, Bush has his work cut out for him. To whom much is given, much is expected, no?
Bush short To Do List
* Retain his NSA, Secretary of State, Secretary of Defense and Atty General.
* Complete the Plame investigation.
* Become a uniter, not a divider.
* Usher in a new era of responsibility.
* Mend international fences.
* Balance budget or freeze spending... or both.
* Make the US deaths in Iraq stand for something.
* Get Osama and or re-engage in Afghanistan with significant force.
* Stop using 9/11 as justification for everything.
* Face the fact that 'W' doesn't stand for women until policies reflect the rhetoric.
* How to effectively secure the nation with NG troops overseas.
* How to increase an all volunteer military when the odds of being in combat are up by 50% or more.
The nature of the current administration is such that they're still speeding down a path already laid and the expectation they'll spin on a dime to adjust to the needs of the country is a bit far-fetched. Items that of significance in the next 4 years that will continue to widen the culture gap are;
The Divisive Agenda
* All of Bush's campaign promises and the reinterpretation of them as reality grabs hold.
* 1 to 3 Supreme Court Justices and the litmus test that Bush claims not to have.
* Iraq, North Korea, Iran, Pakistan vs India, Afghanistan, Sudan, Indonesia, Malaysia etc.
* Gay marriage.
* Ten Commandments.
* TV, video, film, music and skirt length.
* Voter rights.
* FCC regulations.
* Science vs Religion / Ideology vs Policy.
* School textbook content.
* NCLB and other federal mandates that increase government and override states' rights.
* Patriot Act II.
* Civil rights and what the nation is truly willing to sacrifice.
just off the top of my head
and... lest we forget.
The fat lady will sing, it will be soon and the American people will have, *precisely* what they deserve.
Here's hoping this is a pattern.
It's about the votes
The thrill of driving people to the polls is unlike any other. I got to help an 89 year old woman vote this morning... the joy she expressed at receiveing the assistance will hold me through the holidays.
Spent last evening running through apartment complexes passing out polling data to compensate for the badly drawn precincts.
** and the calls are coming into party HQ of challenges and denials across the county. remember, provisional ballots are still ballots.
Toby Keith's song, from Bush's rally here last night
"A little less talk and a lot more action."
"A little less talk and a lot more W."
Jon Stewart just asked us to make his job hard. Only Kerry can do that.
Voters and Stuff
* Polling to keep you warm.
* Don't forget DICK.
Resources and Status
* Election and Candidate data by zip code.
* More election tracking resources.
Overheard on the Playground
"4 years of gridlock"
"A socialist state"
"Nothing but higher taxes"
Familiar rhetoric. This close to election day, I think, the Republicans think, they're going to lose. Aw shucks.
* Lil' Ben plans to graduate Harvard and then take a job as Ann Coulter's puppy.
* Jeff Jacoby says, vote Bush because Kerry changes his mind. Yay, Blind Leadership!!
* Michael Barone says; Iraq won't affect Bush, 527s are bad, pay attention to all the polls that show Bush up.
* Pat Buchanan explains how the media is to blame for all the administration's faults. CBS is satan.
* Diane West; I hate Kerry and here are all the things from his past that bug me. Bush has no past so nothing about him bugs me.
* Jay Bryant; Bush is going to win because ...of his intellectual capacity to grasp the revolutionary concept of an entirely new foreign policy. It's fun to be deluded.
* The closer it gets to feeling like a Kerry victory, the more vitrolic the environment seems to get. More and more the anger and intollerance seems to be building up and festering on the right. If the election was contested, again, would there be justice or would we deconstruct into the worst example of democracy we could exhibit for those we're trying to convert?