January 31, 2005

Fascinatingly Frenetic

File Under: You've got to be kidding me.

Dear US of A,

Would you like to work with us on Iran?

the EU.

Dear EU,

Fuck off.

the "Go It Aloners"

These are the same buffoons who serve white wine at a conference with Iranian leaders? International relations, taking two steps backwards since 2000.


WASHINGTON (AFP) - The Coalition Provisional Authority that governed Iraq (news - web sites) until last June under former US Ambassador L. Paul Bremer is unable to properly account for 8.8 billion dollars that it transferred to the interim Iraqi government, an audit has found.

Well, at least they got elections.

Lipstick for Pigs

The letter continued: "Today, the animating spirit of the Republican Party is exactly the same as it was then: free people, free minds, free markets, free expression, and unlimited individual opportunity."

Ah yes... the freedom that leads to such sensitive brilliance as fenced in free speech zones, arresting KIA moms, Constitutional amendments, and the castigation of SpongeBob. Keep talking kids, I need the fodder.

My 2nd Amendment right to make up meaningless metaphors

As much as I wanted to taunt this... Tbogg beat me to it and to him goes the kudos. I must take umbrage at the "little soldier moment" incurred due to his graphic imagery.

I don’t know about you … but I do not like the fact that the very people who should uphold our rights are stretching them thinner than Fiona Apple on a rack.


Only in Mississippi would you need to insert this into your already archaic approach to women's choice.

Mississippi is one of only two states that require a minor to get the consent of both parents to have an abortion. If the minor has been impregnated by her father, she needs only the consent of her mother.
Posted by kerry at 09:27 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 29, 2005

Oh Canada

What's that word, rhymes with runt?

update: Ann futher displays her vast breadth of knowledge about Canada on CBC. Stunning piece of work

Posted by kerry at 07:34 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Reassuring the Masses

Just like here in the good ole US of A!

Bush has declined to say what percentage of Iraqis would have to vote to make the elections credible. Just the fact that the elections are being held makes them a success, he says.

What's the ROI on our 1 billion dollars a day?

Posted by kerry at 06:41 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 28, 2005

Quote of the day

Charles Pierce, on the topic of Iraqi elections:

Some people are going to vote even though they've been told they will be killed if they do. Nobody in this 40-percent turnout, sucker-for-the-cheap-wedge-issue, talk-show-babbling country of ours has a right to do anything but admire that, and make sure that the undeniable courage on display doesn't get sold down the river for a three-point bump in some future Gallup Poll. This war isn't just a monumental blunder. It's also an ongoing act of betrayal by a bunch of second-rate thinkers who never in their lives have displayed an ounce of the courage that some anonymous woman in Baghdad will evince today.

Posted by dave at 10:43 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Mugwump Mouthpiece

* Brent "I have your best interest a heart" Bozell is vying for Michael Powell's old job apparently. He and the rest of his letter writing cabal are tweeked that the FCC rejected their last barrage of complaints. Apparently the word which must remain unspoken has found its way into the mainstream. Please ensure that in the future all reference to "dick" be replaced with "jerk". "Jerk Cheney, was in Poland this week paying tribute to the victims of Auschwitz".

In the Washington Times, reporter Chris Baker passed along: "Several of the episodes cited were from shows such as 'NYPD Blue,' 'Dawson's Creek' and 'Boston Public' in which characters use a term that can be interpreted as another word for 'jerk.'" Baker couldn't even be specific enough to tell readers that this term for jerk is also the word referring to the male sexual organ.

* BOR has a good interview with Martin Frost on why he should be chair of the DNC. Doesn't change my mind any but a good read nonetheless.

* Unable to put a finger on how you feel post 11.2.04 regarding John Kerry? This helps put it into perspective.

* Troop reduction in the Navy and Air Force. How long before they blame the Clenis? Doesn't jive well with the details in this article.

* Methinks thou doest protest too much, Maggie G. Whattatool. Maybe they'll switch over to using Abu Ghraib rhetoric and blame it on just a few rogue columnists or maybe they'll use the apples vs oranges approach.

* Two quick chuckles. #1 & #2

* It appears that the White House press corps lackey from Wednesday's briefing has more that just his lips attached to the posterior of this administration. The word 'fuckwit' comes to mind.

* Sensitivity training on the "liberal" Texas college campuses.

Posted by kerry at 06:24 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Friday catblogging

It's all the rage with the Kool Kids, you know.


Here we have Martha doing her best Bill The Cat impression, and Charlotte in action, presenting her belly for scritching by our friend Kelly.

Posted by dave at 05:23 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

January 27, 2005

Although, on the other hand, maybe it's not really fence-sitting

The good people at The Register attach their tinfoil hats and start parsing the HTML at apple.com, concluding that a G5 Powerbook may or may not be imminent.

In the process, they come up with what is definitely the best example of fence-sitting imaginible, probably:

Certainly the PowerBook G5 is probably the most eagerly awaited machine Apple has yet to produce.

Posted by dave at 06:46 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Coalition of the "Hell No"

What seems like a no-brainer is apparently required.

Alberto Gonzales should not be confirmed, period. There's nothing that indicates he not also in favor of the use of torture methods on our citizens. Picking up the Ashcroft mantle and furthering the cause of civil right restriction contradicts the empty platitudes on freedom and reduces our credibility internationally.

The best Bush could come up with as an argument to why he should be confirmed was this pitiful little tid-bit.

THE PRESIDENT: Listen, Al Gonzales reflects our policy, and that is we don't sanction torture. He will be a great Attorney General, and I call upon the Senate to confirm him.
Posted by kerry at 05:18 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

self-righteous somnambulism

* Holy unexpected alliance, Batman.

* We'll be pulling troops out of Iraq just in time for Jeb to announce his run for his brother's job.

* When the conservatives begin to lose faith in the direction their Dear Leader is taking them this early into his 2nd term it truly gives one hope. It will at least, provide for an endless source of entertainment. (via)

* Conservatives, will be eating their own. Stay tuned for recipe.

* Best comment troll smack down ever. Well, probably not ever, but it's good.

* When they outlaw cockfighting only outlaws will cockfight. Oklahoma needs a football team or something.

Posted by kerry at 03:37 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 26, 2005

SCLM? Where?

Who in the SCLM asked this fucking question? Who?

Q Thank you. Senate Democratic leaders have painted a very bleak picture of the U.S. economy. Harry Reid was talking about soup lines, and Hillary Clinton was talking about the economy being on the verge of collapse. Yet, in the same breath, they say that Social Security is rock-solid and there's no crisis there. How are you going to work -- you said you're going to reach out to these people -- how are you going to work with people who seem to have divorced themselves from reality?

The answer, is almost worse than the question... below

THE PRESIDENT: Continue to speak to the American people. Right after my State of the Union, I think I'm going to four or five states to continue to address this issue. You know, I can remember President Clinton doing the same thing on Social Security. I thought he was very effective in teeing up the issue, of making the case. And I will do the same thing. There is a -- in terms of whether the economy is growing or not, there is a -- the jobs are increasing, the forecast looks strong. Obviously, there are some things we need to do to make sure that America is a good place to continue to risk capital and invest. That's why I'm urging the Congress to pass legal reform.

You might remember, one of the first issues that I addressed after election was legal reform, asbestos reform, class-action reform, medical liability reform. I believe if there is a -- that we've got a chance to get some good, meaningful legislation out of the Congress early, which will send a good signal that we will address those issues that make -- that stand in the way for further economic expansion. We need an energy bill and I look forward to working with members of both parties to get a good energy bill out. (but not the authors of my bill)

Obviously, people in the capital markets are going to be watching the issue of twin deficits -- on the one hand, the spending deficit, the fiscal deficit. We'll address that in our budget that we're getting ready to submit to Congress. Obviously, we're going to have to work closely together to send the signal that we're willing to tackle some tough issues. The budget I'll be submitting is one that says, we'll spend money on projects that work( minus Iraq), but we must make sure we're not wasting the taxpayer's money. (like Iraq)

In terms of the trade deficit, it is important for us to make sure that -- in countries that are -- that countries treat their currencies in market fashion. I've been working with China(who are carrying the majority of our debt), in specific, on that issue. Secondly, that people knock down their barriers to our goods and services. Thirdly, that we continue to grow our economy at home by making -- by some of the reforms (I thought tax-cuts, not tort reform fixed everything) I've just discussed.

But I think most people are optimistic about the economy next year. It's very important that we continue to put pro-growth policies in place.

4, *ugh* more years

Posted by kerry at 01:13 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

G-Day Mate!

Happy Australia Day! If you’re planning a trip to Australia, go here for things that a travel agent probably wouldn’t tell you.

Back again after more time away preparing for class. I am happy to report that teaching college is the BOMB! I really love it. Twenty-five kids at a time – 18 & 19-year-olds – looking to me for answers. For direction. They are attentive and interested in the subject. They actually do their assignments and participate in class. We laugh a lot together. Every day a handful stay after class to talk to me about one thing or another. They tell me they are enjoying my class. And the best part? It REALLY gives me hope for the future of our country. WHY? BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL LIBERALS! Can I get an AMEN? Power to the people.

And speaking of……….

Left-wing monopoly on campus OH SAY IT AIN’T SO! SAY IT AIN’T! God save our children from heathen liberal professors in the classroom! Yes, there are evil Dems teaching your kids. Get over it and stop being so bloody paranoid you conservative ninnies. Or better yet, quit your high-paying corporate job and do something selfless for a change - like teach. Sure there’s no money in it but……Ay, there’s the rub, eh?

Shock of the week – Liberals in Liberal Arts Education. And more on the subject from Juan Cole. “Liberal academics aren't viciously excluding conservative intellectuals who apply to teach hundreds of students a week for $45,000 a year……….Conservative intellectuals don't have to put up with that kind of thing (that is how they think of the privilege of teaching). They have other opportunities. They can be whales, and can pontificate on morality to the great unwashed.”

Karl Rove Sums it all up for liberals. This cartoon is over a month old but “plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.” Sutton Impact is the shiznit.

Just another day in paradise. Oh yea. The election will surely go off without a hitch. And then live monkeys will fly outta my butt. Or no, better yet, outta SHRUBYA’S butt! I’d pay to see that.

Don’t go away mad. Just go away. They bought representation with good ole American cash and now they want the goods. Oh Boo-Hoo you Whining Zealot Wankers. Your stupidity knows no bounds. Because honestly, it’s SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT to keep two people who love each other from marrying than say, a bazillion dead (and counting) in Iraq. There’s something really twisted about the way these idiots concern themselves with other peoples’ personal lives. Step the hell down, Fish-Boy.

G.Dub, the king of the scam. Texans knew long ago that Mr. Preznit gives a shit about anyone but the “Have’s” – better known as his base. His legacy will be a trail of dead and crimes against humanity. America should be SO proud.

News conference? PUH-LEEZE! What a freakin’ joke. Here’s Asswipe whacking off in our general direction. Smirk, whack, smirk, whack. It’s extremely tiresome.

Sweet, Sweet Connie. Okay, the entire article isn’t online – obviously they want you to buy the mag to read it – but this article about Connie Hamzy, the infamous Groupie from Little Rock, is both funny and disturbing. And filled with trivia that you won’t see anyplace else. Like, who IS the biggest? The smallest? It’s just weird that somebody actually knows…… (Answers: Biggest = Huey Lewis. Smallest = Peter Frampton.) Huey LEWIS?! WHO KNEW?

Posted by lulu at 10:38 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Winning the Hearts and Minds


Posted by kerry at 06:31 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Dogmatic Dominance

* Catching up on Dennis "You can't have morals without my God" Prager, we find him wrapping up his black vs white, either/or argument with the most logical cause for immorality in the nation, universities. Explains why there's so little desire to ensure everyone has ease of access to higher education.

But if you want a quick evaluation of where godless reason leads, look at the irrationality and moral confusion that permeate the embodiment of reason without God -- your local university

* Could someone send this article to Bush? Get him to practice what he "preaches" or at least maybe understand the ramifications of his rhetoric before he binds it into one of his speeches.

* Nudging the apocalypse along inch by inch. The desire to celebrate the "End Times" escapes me.

* Not that Maggie-G and the anti-homo brigade needed any push to champion "traditional marriage"... but $20K didn't hurt. It's apparently key to the success of this administration's policy thrust, to fund its cheerleaders.

* As the Bush administration begins to quietly back away from the wacked wingers who sailed their ineffective and disingenuous asses back into office, there's going to be a rebellion and it's not going to be pretty. I want seats on the 50 yard line.

* More irrational fear of gays.... what about the parents who think it's not a bad thing to expose their children to reality? Hell, my kid's only wedding attended thus far has been same-sex.

"Many parents would not want their young children exposed to the lifestyles portrayed in the episode," Spellings wrote in a letter sent Tuesday to Pat Mitchell, president and chief executive officer of PBS.
Posted by kerry at 04:48 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Measure of Success

Everything is looking up. Please rotate your monitor for improved results.

Posted by kerry at 04:33 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 25, 2005

These Are Not the Droids You Seek

On the other side, opposite from the left

Cal Thomas waxes eloquent on the metaphor of 'spreading freedom'.

In speaking so boldly of freedom, not only as America's right and its best defense, President Bush was in line with Reagan, who said, "While we must be cautious about forcing the pace of change, we must not hesitate to declare our ultimate objectives and to take concrete actions to move toward them. We must be staunch in our convictions that freedom is not the sole prerogative of a lucky few, but the inalienable and universal right of all human beings."

Spreading the cold crunchy peanut butter of freedom on the warm fresh bread of sovereign nations since 2002.

Budget Battles and Battle Budgets

* Simple typo or is this a case of Freud being caught in a slip again?

* Hubble's funding to be scrapped. Why? Mars baby. Mars.

Chiefly Justice

* I'm not really a Catholic Bishop, but I did speak at a Holiday Inn Express last week.

"If I have brought any message today, it is this: Have the courage to have your wisdom regarded as stupidity. Be fools for Christ. And have the courage to suffer the contempt of the sophisticated world."

Quack Quack.


* Stepping up the campaign for the strong mayor initiative (which I support), Laura Miller's calling in the big guns. The upside is the city will save the money spent on a useless layer of management with a city manager. The downside is, while we'll be blessed with a stronger mayorial office, we'll still be stuck with a crushing disappointment.

Posted by kerry at 06:23 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 24, 2005

Spending Political Capital; Week One

* "Been down so long, everything looks up to me", TownHall's leading Motel Minister outlines why his Jesus buzz ain't sticking.

Put that in your irony bong and smoke it!

* Kathleen Parker found similarities between inauguration festivities and the actual job of the president.

The inauguration was simply grueling hard work.


We do not, as a rule, trudge through miles of slush and frigid air in strapless gowns and Cinderella slippers, as thousands of sporting Republican women did. Sure, there was enough fur among the crowd to carpet the Arctic Circle, but even the "hirsuted" had blue lips.

* Further opportunity to put your money where your mouth is. The complete list of inauguration donors.

* Howard Dean for Chair. We've tried mediocre, we've tried going to the center and we've tried even going slightly to the right. What if, Dean *had* been the one who could have beaten Bush? What if your party sold you a bum steer? What if change *was* what was needed? What if?

* 2004 wrap-up. It truly *was* wine and roses (or MD20/20 and thorns, who's to say?).

* NeoCon. It's not just theory, it's policy.

* To all the flag waving jingoists who are dancing on the pre-dug grave of Social Security and think spending restrictions are for traitors. Remember, your kids' futures will be spent paying back the lender nations you scorn today.

* Gonzales, adding to legitimate arguments and to why he's the best man for this administration.

* Can "WE THE PEOPLE" demand an audit of how our tax dollars reconstruction funding is being spent?

Posted by kerry at 08:41 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Good Exposure

SpongeBob, overwhelmed by the added attention, displays his unabashed joy at the possibility of increased revenue. Controversy sells.

Posted by kerry at 08:20 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 22, 2005

Speech Speech!!!

While the Bush Administration backpeddles and over-explains the inauguration speech, the "heads" are using it like a battle axe.

There has now been a complete role reversal. It is the conservatives who, led by President Bush, are summoning us to greatness: to spread liberty, to free the slaves, to defend human dignity. As my White House friend said, “This president is intent on shaping history, not impeding it.” It’s the liberals who are reacting, unwilling to defend liberty.

Remind me again, what does the 'L' stand for in ACLU?

Posted by kerry at 01:22 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Also, prime numbers are so unfashionable

Shorter Leah McLaren: My fashionable friends and I lack the personal discipline to spend less than $300 on each others' birthdays, but at least I have the liberal bona fides to write a quarter of a sentence considering whether I should have spent the money on tsunami relief.

Posted by dave at 05:53 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 21, 2005

Laconic Friday

Keeping it short to heighten curiosity and save time.

* Yes


* Lawnmowing

* Duck-n-cover

* ContraceptiveSpongeBob

* Snowballed

* Promises

* Onanist

Posted by kerry at 06:35 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 20, 2005

Swinging Inaugural Balls

Whoa, Lindsey! Good Speech?


The fine line between "I Love You", "Shoutin' at the Devil" and "Hook Em Horns".

Posted by kerry at 06:06 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Glossing Over

Look Jenna, you're on Candid Camera

Posted by kerry at 03:42 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Catching Up

Talking Point Phenomenon

Dear Townhall Contributors. I realize we have a vast catastrophe in Southeast Asia, a war raging in Iraq, a looming inauguration and a stupifyingly manufactured Social Security crisis, but I need a few of you to focus on the kerfuffle that popped up on the Harvard campus last week. Primary points are enclosed. Try and keep each of your individual columns unique as much as is possible. We don't want to look like ditto heads.

Thank you.

The Editorial Staff.

Unabashed Fawning

It's time to play "Spot the Falacies"

George W. Bush is a man of deep religious faith and unwavering loyalty to his wife, family, and country. His own political story is remarkable. His meteoric rise began just over 10 years ago as an underdog in Texas politics. Now he stands atop the world stage. Under Bush, the Republican party is the source of almost all new ideas, with the GOP holding the whip hand to implement them. Republicans can claim the White House, Senate, House of Representatives, and a majority of state governorships.

Amusing bits

* Do not click this link. Clicking through will cause retinal hemorrhaging. You have been warned.

* Alternate ribbon magnets. Remember, when you see a yellow ribbon for "the troops", it's out of context (except for maybe Sgt. Graner).

* Ask not from where your funding comes. Ask what you can do for your funding.

Posted by kerry at 05:36 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

January 19, 2005

Weapons of Mass Inauguration


* Rules of Inaguration: Do not look at Dear Leader. Do not make sudden movements near Dear Leader. Use the restroom beforehand. Bring no coolers, drinks will be provided in obligatory Dear Leader commemorative cups. Stay home.

* Early release of Inaugural speech.

Confirm, This

Even with 20/20 hindsight, justification for going to war should remain a constant.

We knew that he continued to shoot at American aircraft in the no-fly zone as we tried to enforce the resolutions of U.N. Security -- that the U.N. Security Council had passed. We knew that he continued to threaten his neighbors. We knew that he was an implacable enemy of the United States who did cavort with terrorists.


Posted by kerry at 07:04 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What Moral Values?

Matthew 25:40

"And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

Posted by kerry at 06:20 AM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

Sticks and Stones

Sunday's softball match, between Tim Russert and Dan Bartlett, gave us a glimpse into the intricate interworkings of the White House and shed some light on some of the more cryptic rhetoric.

MR. RUSSERT: "Bring them on." Was that too macho by the president?

MR. BARTLETT: I think the president later has realized that his words mean something.

Baby steps. It's how we all learn.

Posted by kerry at 02:28 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 18, 2005

Frosty Reception

Martin Frost, good for Dallas County, should have been good for the 32nd and was good for Texas. Not good for the DNC chair.

I had a brief discussion a week or so ago with one of Martin's key operatives regarding the tossing of his hat into this ring. The argument I got as to the why it makes sense, is that he has a strong history of raising money. His time as DCCC chair and time in office are both, note worthy accomplishments. However, the leadership needed right now is much greater than a money-raiser who was unable to win in his home district can offer.

After the conversation, there was still something bugging me about why I thought he was a bad idea and just simply couldn't put my finger on it. Then kos captured it, Annatopia nailed it and then kos followed up with a closer. Planning for 2006 and on towards 2008 is going to require the DNC chair to be a strong advocate for the party and not a weak apologist who's willing to eat his own to win. The rules for engagement have changed and the GOP wrote them. Any sign of weakness will be exploited and having leadership that's been shown to be unwilling to support its own members creates an Achilles heel the size of Rhode Island.

Martin, save your pennies and run again, just don't expect the support of your party when you're willing to sacrifice them on the altar of your campaign.

* local note: There's apparently a coup underway for the chair of the Dallas County Democratic Party. At first glance, the details seem legit but the methods suspect.

Posted by kerry at 09:04 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Rebuilding Burned Bridges

May she perform as well in her new roll as Vulcan advisor.

Posted by kerry at 06:06 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Nukular Family

Pay close attention to the rhetoric on Iran. Whose military are we planning on deploying and does this mean Syria's in the clear for now?

The new rules will enable the Special Forces community to set up what it calls “action teams” in the target countries overseas which can be used to find and eliminate terrorist organizations. “Do you remember the right-wing execution squads in El Salvador?” the former high-level intelligence official asked me, referring to the military-led gangs that committed atrocities in the early nineteen-eighties. “We founded them and we financed them,” he said. “The objective now is to recruit locals in any area we want. And we aren’t going to tell Congress about it.” A former military officer, who has knowledge of the Pentagon’s commando capabilities, said, “We’re going to be riding with the bad boys.”
Posted by kerry at 05:19 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 17, 2005


* Who cares how the money is spent as long as the intelligence improves, right? Guaranteed to make you feel at risk for an aneurism.

* The "Bush Doctrine", will we see a book before 2006? Will history be favorable or unfavorable on the results and will it seem as irrelevant as Powell's?

* If you can't beat em, join em. This would have so been preferable to the fishing rod (minus eyes) and Hot Wheels track used on my ass.


What Rebecca Hagelin thinks in her article on accountability:

And here's another reason not to be pessimistic: We know that President Bush is determined to avoid the mistakes of other second-term presidencies. Long before the balloting was over on Nov. 2, he had commissioned his staff to study past presidents who had second terms and find out what worked, what didn't and why. He's trying to avoid the fate that has befallen presidents who began to drift in their second terms.

Although she uses the word in the title, she only vaguely alludes to it in the body of the column.

Now some words from the man in office:

The Post: In Iraq, there's been a steady stream of surprises. We weren't welcomed as liberators, as Vice President Cheney had talked about. We haven't found the weapons of mass destruction as predicted. The postwar process hasn't gone as well as some had hoped. Why hasn't anyone been held accountable, either through firings or demotions, for what some people see as mistakes or misjudgments?

THE PRESIDENT: Well, we had an accountability moment, and that's called the 2004 election. And the American people listened to different assessments made about what was taking place in Iraq, and they looked at the two candidates, and chose me, for which I'm grateful.

Listen, in times of war, things don't go exactly as planned. Some were saying there was no way that Saddam Hussein would be toppled as quickly as we toppled him. Some were saying there would be mass refugee flows and starvation, which didn't happen. My only point is, is that, on a complicated matter such as removing a dictator from power and trying to help achieve democracy, sometimes the unexpected will happen, both good and bad.

Accountability's only pertinent in cases of land deals and blowjobs. The rest of you, STFU.

* On the point of accountability, playing 'flog the blogger' to justify Armstrong Williams taking your tax dollars to shill for an underfunded federal mandate is at best, a red herring.

* Being held accountable is only relevant if you were the one caught on film. What you wrote on paper as part of policy doesn't count.

Posted by kerry at 05:30 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

All the Gossip that's fit to Print

When getting "ahead" on your own merits isn't enough. Doink someone prominent in DC and write about it.

Legitimacy pending.

(via: a reader)

Posted by kerry at 05:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 14, 2005

Snake Oil

* Bush told us that Saddam posed a grave and growing danger and possessed WMDs. Now he's telling the nation we have a Social Security crisis. Will there be a collective *pop* sound as heads are removed from asses across the country or are the masses just *that* gullible? Maybe we simply have a crises crisis.

* If you base degrees of importance on level of funding, it is more important to our administration to ensure housing and reconstruction for the people of Iraq, than it is for tax paying citizens of the US.

* Artistic license. Jenna's butt is *not* going to fit into that gown as illustrated.

* If your insurance company asks questions that seem completely unrelated to the policy being purchased. Lie.

* Adding new meaning to the term "Getting Bombed".

Posted by kerry at 06:25 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 13, 2005

theatre of the absurd

Today's press Gaggle had lil ole McClellan running in indecipherable crop circles.

after being asked for an update on the "enemy", Scotty coughed up this...

MR. McCLELLAN: John, I'll give you an update. The enemy is the ideology of hatred and oppression that people espouse. That's what we're up against. We're working to defeat an ideology of hatred and oppression. And you do that by going after the terrorists, who have no regard for rule of law, no regard for innocent civilians, and all they seek to do is spread chaos and fear and intimidation.

Which makes you wonder which side we're on after reading, this.

Scott goes on to spin the President's view on torture of detainees.

Q I'm trying to get -- he doesn't condone torture. The question is, what does the President condone? And in your letter to Congress in October, the one you're referencing here, you said --

MR. McCLELLAN: That we released to you all publicly in October.

Q I recall that. Yes, indeed, it was publicly released. And I confess, I missed this line, so I'd ask you to explain it now. "The administration also opposes section 1014 of S2845 which provides legal protections to foreign prisoners to which they are not now entitled." What legal protections does the President believe foreign prisoners in U.S. country -- in U.S. custody shouldn't have?

MR. McCLELLAN: The President has made very clear what our policy is, and he expects the policy to be followed. The policy is to comply with our laws and with our treaty obligations. The criminal statutes of the United States specifically talk about -- you bring up an issue about people outside the United States -- the criminal statute of the United States specifically says that -- or imposes criminal penalties on "whoever outside the United States commits or attempts to commit torture." So there are already laws on the book that address this issue.

That's why I said that their provision -- or the provision in this legislation is something that we viewed as not necessary because it's already addressed in international treaties, in our laws, and in the Defense Authorization Act.

Q What legal protections shouldn't those prisoners have in the President's view?

MR. McCLELLAN: I just made very clear what our view is when it comes to the treatment of detainees.

No, Scotty honey, you did not.

Bush, in his argument for Social Security privit refor meddli manipulation, provided this little known fact.

THE PRESIDENT: Let me say this. You brought up a very interesting point. There's kind of an assumption that only a certain group of people at a certain income can manage an account. It's -- it's as if you've got to have a net worth of "X" before savings becomes a real part of your life. I reject that. Bob rejects that.

Secondly, the interesting -- there's a -- African American males die sooner than other males do, which means the system is inherently unfair to a certain group of people. And that needs to be fixed. It's not a -- (applause.)

Who saw the Affirmative Action argument coming?

At least we can rest easy in the knowledge that our altruistic work and donations in Asia for the tsunami disaster relief aren't being expoited, right?

"There's a lot of talk about how some in the world don't appreciate America," Bush told reporters after a Pentagon briefing on tsunami relief and the U.S. war on terror.

"Well, I can assure you that those who have been helped by our military appreciate America."

They better, or they'll be looking down the barrel of one angry automatic weapon.

Posted by kerry at 11:17 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Qwazy Quotables

Because somethings are better in small doses

* "Thanks for nothing." -- Michelle Malkin
You're welcome. You deserve it.

* "Rape has as much to do with "somebody's private sex life" as Bush's National Guard service does." -- Ann Coulter
Ya know, the documents may be crap, Dan may have flubbed his job... the legitimacy of the premise is still solid.

* "On the other hand, I don't see how you can be president at least from my perspective, how you can be president, without a relationship with the Lord." -- George Bush
Because no one else provides such clear direction?

* "But the runaway winner, at 51 percent, is number 4 -- God exists, but he had no connection to the tsunami." -- Jeff Jacoby
He better be ready to help us with the Super Bowl though.

* "You can only search so many places for WMD." -- Iraq Weapons Inspector
We ain't found shit.

* "George W. Bush; you have asked us to 'bring it on'. And so help me, (we will) like you never expected." -- Iraqi Narrator
Now the taunting begins?

Posted by kerry at 03:15 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

January 12, 2005

Question Everything

* Does absolute power actually corrupt absolutely?

* Remember El Salvador? Want to repeat history or learn from it?

* When does a coalition cease to be a coalition?

* What does the future look like? Does this minority represent you?

* What does boredom, enhanced by technology look like?

* What does a royal screwing look like?

* How do you boost sales in old VHS copies of "Footloose"?

* What does voter confidence look like?

* Do copyright laws make any sense?

* When my predictions come true will I make money?

Posted by kerry at 04:22 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

The God Compass

Dennis is back with Part II in his quest to prove that without god, one cannot innately possess morals.

For those who subscribe to Judeo-Christian values, right and wrong, good and evil, are derived from God, not from reason alone, nor from the human heart, the state or through majority rule.

The church, "leave the thinking to us". Straight from god to you, via Dennis or via the bible? What's the common pass-through agent here? Man. Therefore the right and wrong morality interpretations are man-based whether they come from within each of us or out of a book written by flat earth lamb burners.

... more beyond the jump

(...) In other words, if there is no God who says, "Do not murder" ("Do not kill" is a mistranslation of the Hebrew which, like English, has two words for homicide), murder is not wrong. Many people may think it is wrong, but that is their opinion, not objective moral fact. There are no moral "facts" if there is no God; there are only moral opinions.

Objective moral fact? Because God said so? When we get to pick and choose from the 600+ laws in the Old Testament it still remains objective and "from God"? Fascinating. Murder is wrong. Whether the law comes from Moses as told to him by the stone cutter in the mountain, another random prophet or is simply the law of the land.

It's a shame God didn't have the foresight to declare the raping of the environment, rise of mammon over the needs of the masses and war under false pretense as moral "facts" as well. Benefit of the doubt, maybe he was just hyper-focused on trying to keep those wandering ninnies alive in the desert.

(...) This is the reason for the moral relativism -- "What I think is right is right for me, what you think is right is right for you" -- that pervades modern society. The secularization of society is the primary reason vast numbers of people believe, for example, that "one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter"; why the best educated were not able say that free America was a more moral society than the totalitarian Soviet Union; why, in short, deep moral confusion afflicted the 20th century and continues in this century.

Missing, of course, the "What I think is right is right and should you deviate in the privacy of your own home, I'm going to push for law, bill or amendment" approach. The most recent push for "moral values" has completely removed the objective moral aspect from the argument.

(...) A major reason for the left's loathing of George W. Bush is his use of moral language -- such as in his widely condemned description of the regimes of North Korea, Iran and Iraq as an "axis of evil." These people reject the central Judeo-Christian value of the existence of objective good and evil and our obligation to make such judgments. Secularism has led to moral confusion, which in turn has led to moral paralysis

No, the primary reason as it relates to morals is the absolution he's received from the majority of voters and the broad sweeping agenda being used to justify an immoral war while touting moral absolutes on the populace he's been elected to serve. Rejection of the Judeo-Christian god does not give the US license to bomb those who belief differently.

And to those who counter these arguments for God-based morality with the question, "Whose God?" the answer is the God who revealed His moral will in the Old Testament, which Jews and Christians -- and no other people -- regard as divine revelation.

The belief that Christ is the sole path to God creates a vast chasm between Judaism and Christianity. In most Christian denominations this also lends itself to the belief that the Jews are doomed to hell. Juxtaposing these two religions to justify moral absolutes, while declaring morality without their God as moot, cheapens humanity's innate sense of right and wrong. Makes you wonder what we're supposed to do with the free will and brain God gave us, write a column for Townhall?

The best-known verse in the Bible is "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Leviticus 19:18). It is a reflection of the secular age in which we live that few people are aware that the verse concludes with the words, "I am God." Though entirely secularized in common parlance, the greatest of the ethical principles comes from God. Otherwise it is just another man-made suggestion, no more compelling than "Cross at the green, not in between."

So by this logic, if man writes an epiphany and ends it with I am God, it's then immediately assumed to be an ethical principle from God?

Well then...

Dennis Prager is a self-righteous prick with a freakish divinity complex. "I am God".

Posted by kerry at 03:03 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

January 11, 2005

a.k.a. Windows

Grammar lesson of the day: When you use nouns to modify other nouns, make sure that there is only one good way to parse the resulting phrase. For example, Microsoft's latest brainwave doesn't necessarily mean what they expect it to:

Malicious Software Removal Tool

Posted by dave at 12:32 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

And above all...

* Pay close attention to the rhetoric your elected official uses when speaking out on the Social Security "reforms" being touted. Whose side is he or she on, really? What are the long term affects expected and how are they going to benefit you, really? Is it truly the panacea to all that is wrong with our nation? Is it more important than; health care, the war on selective terror, homlessness, or job creation? Note what's pushed to the bottom of the talking points while we attempt to break something that's currently fixed.

* Gitmo, the West's version of a Gulag. How will history treat this blight on our reputation as a nation that claims to respect freedom? Now, after 2+ years, we're about to release hundreds of detainees? The message they spread throughout the world should be interesting.

* Newt vs Jeb in the 2008 GOP primaries. *shudder*

* The long term ramifications of this rash war are here to stay. May we do right by the men and women forced to serve in it.

* Virginia is for lovers... just makes sure your lovin' don't produce a miscarriage or you ain't gay.

* Your children are at risk. If they know about homosexuals, they could become one. All it takes is one subliminal message from Winnie the Pooh and it's all downhill. Don't forget the free toaster.

* Swift Boat scamming. I am most definitely in the wrong business. Steve Gardner's found himself a benefactor and champion. Yeah, this guy.

Posted by kerry at 02:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 10, 2005

Slush Funding

How to make a quick government buck from an under-funded initiative

Seeking to build support among black families for its education reform law, the Bush administration paid a prominent black pundit $240,000 to promote the law on his nationally syndicated television show and to urge other black journalists to do the same. The campaign, part of an effort to promote No Child Left Behind (NCLB), required commentator Armstrong Williams "to regularly comment on NCLB during the course of his broadcasts," and to interview Education Secretary Rod Paige for TV and radio spots that aired during the show in 2004.

The "Apology"

I accept full responsibility for my lack of good judgment. I am paying the price. Tribune Media has cancelled my column. And I have learned a valuable lesson. I just want to assure you that this will never happen again, and to ask for your forgiveness.

I hope that we can put this mistake behind us, and that I can continue to bring the same unique and impassioned perspective that I brought to this space in the past.

Think he'll keep the money? Begs the question, "How many other columnists are being funded by tax dollars to spread the good news", don't it?

If this had happened to a left leaning columnist, you wouldn't be able to hear the apology over the din of the flagellation.

Posted by kerry at 03:12 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 07, 2005

She's Baaaack!

I’ve been away for quite some time. Oh not physically, but away from blogging simply because there aren’t enough hours in the day. Aside from the usual holiday activities, I’ve been prepping to teach this semester. That’s right. Lulu out there shaping young minds. They’re college students which should be very interesting indeed. We shall see. But the most time consuming activity for me at present is fostering two 3-month old puppies. I began fostering two weeks into December, thus my last post was December 10th. These puppies are a joy but a handful. It’s like having twin toddlers. Of this much I am certain: they’re cute so one does not give in to the desire (at least once a day) to strangle them. They have a love for cardboard, wicker, chair legs and area rugs. And oh yea, puppy breath is one of the most heavenly things on earth.

Gorilla news. I’m a big fan of Dr. Penny Patterson, the developmental psychologist who taught the gorilla Koko to communicate using sign language (and later the male gorilla Michael who died suddenly at age 27). The work she does is absolutely fascinating. Just look through the photo blog at koko.org. It’s amazing.

Because $10 is a lot of money? WTF?

SAT’s prove Bush wrong. Public education faces tough challenges but “privatization” is clearly not the answer.

I’m not sure which is more dumbfounding, WOMEN who oppose abortion or MEN, like this nimrod who EXCUSE ME, will never get pregnant. It’s on a button folks, “If men could get pregnant, abortion would be legal, ethical and federally funded.”

THAT high, huh? Bush's approval rating is among the lowest of any re-elected American leader in 50 years. Quelle Suprise, non?!

Do SUV’s make you stupid? And the salesman sees that look and just smiles and licks his chops and points out how this 4-ton hunk of environmental devastation can seat nine and tow a large tractor or maybe 15 head of cattle, plus it has 27 cup holders and three DVD players and a built-in sense of false superiority, and the vaguely depressed regularly emasculated suburban dad or the gum-snapping Marina girl with way too much of her parents' money and way too little self-defined taste takes one look and goes, oooh. I LOVE THIS GUY!

Posted by lulu at 10:57 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

January 06, 2005


* You're a maladjusted WASP on a strict bile and lettuce diet with a deadline on your weekly column and the biggest news of the day is tragedy. Do you, a.) reflect on the tragedy and the horrors experienced or, b.) do you waste perfectly good white space whining about a critique made on the US' initial response to the tragedy and still manage to bitch about Michael Moore and Al Franken? If you picked 'b', Townhall has a job for you. If you can somehow blame the Clenis for the earthquake, NewsMax is hiring. Proof positive that being in the 'mandated' majority decreases the number of legitimate topics there are to rant about.

* Best quote of the day; "I don’t have a single idea for how we can un-shit the bed..." Bet a good election will help clean the sheets.

* Willful ignorance in a position of power should be criminal.

* Alberto "water-boy" Gonzales is weaseling his way through his confirmation hearings today. Odds the Democrats roll over, wet themselves and allow him to trump Ashcroft's behavior exponentially? The First Amendment, "how quaint". Remember, he used to be counsel for Enron...

* You're the weakest link on the weakest pundit slugfest show on TV. Jon Stewart calls you a 'dick' on your show. What's the last thing you want to hear from your boss? “I guess I come down more firmly in the Jon Stewart camp,” Klein told The Associated Press. Be still my beating heart.

* We really "gotterdun" there in Fallujah, didn't we? Guess if an entire city is reduced to rubble, there's no place to hide. History is not going to judge this well when the citizen fatalities in Iraq exceed numbers generated by Saddam's reign.

Posted by kerry at 10:11 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

January 05, 2005


* How your money is divided up.

* The media watchdog's 2004 "highlights". Glad he found time to catch the Paris Hilton "South Park" episode.

* Winning is the only option. Sometimes you have to change the definition.

* After the collective gang-rape of Social Security is completed, will the name change. The "security" part seems a little out-dated.

* Free toaster with every toddler converted to homosexuality. I anxiously await the subtle lesbian overtones of the Dora and JoJo duet.

Posted by kerry at 10:57 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 04, 2005

Conflagration Inflamation

File Under: "I had no idea"

Further, religious women are more likely to report being sexually satisfied than nonreligious counterparts. These are the women who are more likely to have waited until they can follow the teachings of their faith about being “embedded in a formal marriage” before they have sex. ed: or, they just don't know what they're missing

Roe v Wade

Want those on the Right to support abortion? Find a genetic marker for prenatal identification of homosexuality.

Serial Stupifier

Dennis Prager announces the first in a series of articles that may very well rip the fabric of moral fortitude for all those who fail to share in his blind faith. The explanation of why the Biblical code of law is superior to all the rest and apparently how the rest of us wander aimlessly without an inate moral compass. Jumping recklessly from PETA logic to the spread of Nazism and Communism in Europe he seemingly equates them all to the loss of ...... biblical values. In an effort to keep it ecumenical, he'll be focusing on the Old Testament. mmmmm goody, I love nothing more than an angry god combined with someone who believes his value system is worth foisting onto others. Stay tuned for burning calves and repressive law 101.

Coming Clean

The high holy priest of the hotel anteroom lets his readers in on a secret for the new year. He's human. Which, provides him with the long awaited opportunity to tie in a reference to Papillon’s prison gravy. How long you suspect he's been holding on to that metaphor? Longer than Rapunzel's hair?

Posted by kerry at 10:25 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Happy New Year

New Years Resolution

I resolve to make absolutely no resolutions.

New Years Predictions

  • Troop deaths in the field will be inversely proportional to the status messages received touted by the administration.
  • Natural disasters will be touted as further signs of the end-times and used to justify fundamentalism.
  • 2005's word for the year, filibuster.
  • Terrorist attacks will occur. Links to Saddam will seem suspect.
  • Local sales, state & property taxes will increase to compensate for lack of federal funding to the states. It's called blowback.
  • .0001% of the populace will wake up to the reality that the cold war is re-emerging and we're on the other side now.
  • Absolutely nothing will be done to improve voter access in the US as democracy is forcibly spread abroad.
  • 2004 will be remembered fondly the further we get from it.
  • The Democrats will run in circles as they attempt to become a cohesive unit and will still fail to stay on topic.
  • The Republicans will pretend to care about the little people who elected them while enacting legislation that contradicts their rhetoric.
  • The Teflon Boy King will continue to butcher his native tongue, ostrasize key allies, ignore sound policy advise, spend like the rapture's coming tomorrow, relax evironmental oversight, reward bad business practices and continue to mock the highest office in the nation through sheer stubborness.
  • Ken Lay will not see a jury.
  • Incompetence will be rewarded and encouraged.
  • Rising interest rates, the falling dollar, lopsided trade, low consumer confidence, job losses, and the national debt will all be spun into examples of how wise the tax cuts were and the justification for the removal of the sunset clauses.
  • The UN will grow in it's role as patsy for what's wrong with international relations as other countries realize how well it works for the US.
  • Bi-partisan, healing, and unity will be sooooo 2004.

Posted by kerry at 04:04 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack