* The seemingly Infinite Nookie War of 2005, will the tide turn?
* Winning the hearts and minds in Iraq. Oh, wait... who's in charge again?
Paris Hilton's got the wingers' panties in a bunch. Bless her little emaciated heart. For someone who serves no other purpose than to incite controversy, it's ironic to see her pushing a burger you *know* she's never tasted.
And that's what CKE Restaurants, Inc. -- the parent company of burger chains Carl's Jr. and Hardee's -- have launched: a sneak attack on parents.
Dear AP, pronouns are hard, aren't they?
INDIANAPOLIS - Danica Patrick lived up to the hype. Now, what does she do for an encore? Patrick stole the show at the Indianapolis 500, giving the guys a real run for their money and nearly grabbing the biggest purse in auto racing before finishing fourth.
The 5-foot-2, 100-pound rookie thrilled the 300,000 or so spectators at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway who spent much of the final 30 laps on their feet screaming and cheering as he she tried to pull off the biggest upset in 89 years of Indy history.
Man, I can hardly wait," Patrick said. "I love being in the race car. That's why I'm in this sport. And I guess I'll have to win a race before people really believe in me." ED: or get an addadicktomy, apparently
Jesus would want us rewarding bad behavior, right?
"And the Lord spake unto him, "Find the most reprehesible partisan tool amongst the land". "Bring unto me, one candidate only, one who is as unparalleled in clandestine funding and underhanded tactics as my blessed son, Tom DeLay". "Let him be a test upon the nation". "Let the resounding silence from the populace be the resounding support you so desire". "Assume the vast vacuum of outrage be the wind in your sails". "Eat them, they are yours".
You can imagine the scene. Robert Mugabe is sitting around a big table with his cabinet. He says "Under my leadership we have driven Zimbabwe into poverty, destroyed any semblance of democracy, turned our most productive farmland into an arid plain, and made our country an international pariah. But it's not enough. Some of the farmers whose lands we have stolen have won lawsuits against our policy of arbitrary confiscation. We must do something. But what?"
He looks around the table.
The Minister of Foreign Affairs says "It must be drastic enough to cause the rest of the world to consider us to be barbaric."
The Minister of Agriculture says "It must cause any farms that still exist to become fallow."
The Minister of Justice says "It must be an outrage against any norms of law."
The Minister of Finance says "It must increase poverty and make absolutely no economic sense whatsoever."
All eyes turn back to the President. Robert Mugabe speaks again. "I've got it!" he says. "We should expropriate all the land in the country, and amend the Constitution to make private land ownership illegal".
How's this for a claim to fame? I once spent the night on Dan Nexon's futon and had my toes nibbled on by his psychotic kitten.
Memo to Oxfam: When you're selling wristbands to raise awareness about world poverty, make sure the wristbands aren't being made by people who are forced to work "a seven-day week for less than the minimum wage, with no annual leave, no right to freedom of association, and poor health and safety provisions".
Race-car driver Robby Gordon:
Robby Gordon accused Danica Patrick of having an unfair advantage in the Indianapolis 500 and said yesterday he will not compete in the race again unless the field is equalized.
Gordon, a former open-wheel driver now in NASCAR, contends that Patrick is at an advantage over the rest of the competitors because she only weighs 100 pounds. Because all the cars weigh the same, Patrick's is lighter on the race track.
"The lighter the car, the faster it goes," Gordon said. "Do the math. Put her in the car at her weight, then put me or Tony Stewart in the car at 200 pounds and our car is at least 100 pounds heavier.
"I won't race against her until the IRL does something to take that advantage away."
Danica suggests the real reason why Robby is afraid of losing to a girl:
Now, a personal savings account would be a part of a Social Security retirement system. It would be a part of what you would have to retire when you reach retirement age. As you -- as I mentioned to you earlier, we're going to redesign the current system. If you've retired, you don't have anything to worry about -- third time I've said that. (Laughter.) I'll probably say it three more times. See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda. (Applause.)
Today’s Naral Pro-Choice America Report
The Senate may have reached a compromise to disarm the nuclear option, but don't think that means this anti-choice Congress is willing to compromise its far-right agenda.
This time, not only did our opponents take aim at our courts, they even turned their backs on women in the military.
· House Republican leaders refused to allow debate or votes on two amendments that would have provided compassionate health care to military women who’ve been raped. The first would have ensured that the morning-after pill, ordinary birth control pills that can prevent pregnancy after sex or assault, is made available to servicewomen at every military base. The second amendment would have allowed women to use their military health insurance for abortion care in cases of rape or incest. Given that sexual assaults against servicewomen rose 25 percent in 2004, it's appalling that anti-choice lawmakers refused to allow these amendments to even come to a vote.
· Military women were also yet again denied the right to access abortion care at military facilities overseas when the House defeated an amendment to repeal a ban that forbids servicewomen and female military dependents from using their own money to pay for an abortion at overseas military hospitals.
So, you're a soldier - you just happen to be female - and you're serving your country in Iraq. (You're there because you were lied to but that's a whole other ball o' wax.) You're captured or perhaps just in the wrong place at the wrong time and you're tortured - raped, sodomized, beaten, left for dead. The usual fun & games that go along with war. First, you aren't allowed to take a pill that will prevent a pregnancy from this horrific attack. Okay, so a few months down the pike when you discover you ARE pregnant, you are forced to carry the pregnancy to full term because (a) you aren’t earning a living wage in the military and your military medical insurance will not cover an abortion OR (b) even if you could scrape together the necessary funds you aren't allowed to use your own funds to get an abortion. I believe that just about covers it, eh? Life as you know it is over. The horror of war, the horror of rape, have now altered your life irrevocably. And now you have a child that you did not plan, that you did not want, that you cannot support on the salary you earn in "this man's army." Any plans for your future have been crushed. The days of making your own decisions about what contribution you can make in our society are over. Such lofty goals for a young woman, anyway, right? What could YOU possibly have to contribute?
'Tis a pity you weren't born with descending genitals. Too bad, so sad. It sucks to be you.
The right-wing-bible-thumping-fundamentalist-republican-douchebags believe the “right to life” begins at conception. They apparently also believe that it ends at birth. Especially if you have a vagina.
Bouncing all over the place like 3 year old after a double shot mocha java.
* Celebrating the win on the TRMPAC yesterday's a bit like getting all worked up over a touchdown in the first 5 minutes of the 1st quarter. Still a long game to go.
* Well, better late than never.
* GeorgieLand, rolling back the clock on sociological evolution daily.
* This, is the result of an activist judge. Dictating religion.
* Nice resume.
* Title of the Day: "Creationism: God's gift to the ignorant"
Ahhhhh, the end of the semester (not teaching again until Fall), my show has closed (to some awesome reviews, I might add) and I’m back in bidness!
Most people (if you're not in the theatre) know John Patrick Shanley as the Oscar-winning screenwriter of Moonstruck. However, he's written many more stage plays and there is talk of a Pulitzer Prize for his current show, Doubt, now running on Broadway. The human need to know and to seek the answer to the ultimate question: Why are we here? is what forces the weak and frightened to remove doubt from their thinking. That's how and why the fundamentalist religions exist. But none of us living on this earth know the answer. You don't. I don't. And that's the beauty of Mr. Shanley's play. He doesn't attempt to answer the question. He finds beauty in doubt. It's a profound and timely message. Read more here.
"Doubt has gotten a bad reputation. People who are utterly certain are vulnerable to a brand of foolishness that people who maintain a level of doubt are not." (11/20/04 New York Times, interview with David Cote).
“....doubt itself is a passionate exercise. I think it's perceived in this culture as something weak or denatured, and that's a huge mistake. Conviction is what you do to be comfortable, to write THE END on thinking. Doubt keeps you in the present, it keeps you conscious and reacting to and acting on what is going on now. It's work, and people like to avoid work." (4/1/05 Entertainment Weekly, interview with Mary Kaye Schilling) --- John Patrick Shanley
Sticking with evolution.
What is it with these right-wing Christians? Faced with a choice between sex and death, they choose death every time. I posit that they're just not doing it right.
Sometimes, the information sorta speaks for itself, don't it?
Porn star and former gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey will be joining her boss, Kick Ass Pictures president Mark Kulkis, in attending a dinner with President Bush in Washington, D.C. on June 14.
Kulkis was invited to attend the event by the National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC), which is organizing the event. Over a two-day course of NRCC events preceding the dinner, Carey and Kulkis will be attending a meeting with presidential advisor Karl Rove, giving their recommendations on important national issues.
LAKEWOOD, Wash. (AP) — Mary Carey, a pornographic film star who ran for California governor in a recall election in 2003, has been arrested in a raid on a new strip club in this Tacoma suburb, police said.
is NOT more important than;
When Terri Shaivo and a blastocyst become the primary focus of our elected officials while millions go to bed hungry, uninsured and jobless... a 'culture of life' is nothing more than empty words.
Best. Comeback. Ever. Down 3-0 at halftime, Liverpool FC claw their way back to 3-3 and then beat AC Milan on penalties. Unfreakingbelievable.
* When criticizing the military's methods is treason, we're no longer living in a democracy. When a Congressman gets more upset over what he hears on HBO than the lies on the House floor, we're through the looking glass.
* Ah Texas, the land shrouded in mystery and chock-fulla state pride. A vast expanse that harbors varied and unique fauna. Where cheerleaders are verboten and schools are so underfunded that they can't afford to research all the kids' names for the yearbook.
* When you are what you say you are, you should no longer have to say what you are... unless your rhetoric matches not, your actions. The GOP wingers are talented at massaging the lexicon. Pay attention.
* Sentiments of the simple minded. If it confuses you, attack it.
* Our pending theocratic nightmare was predicted.
* The great and powerful OZ is unhappy. OZ needs a visit from the equally great and powerful IRS.
* What Would Yoda Do? ed: yes, it's a parody.
Dobson 0 Democracy 1. The compromise wasn't result I'd personally hoped for but it's much better than the alternative. The loss of the filibuster wasn't about the nominees in question right now folks. It's about the upcoming loss of our Chief Justice of the Supreme Court and the tools needed to ensure fairness in the process of confirming a new one.
The truly unexpected and enjoyable aspect of a rare bi-partisan agreement is watching the freeper-esque head spinning of the vast right-wing stupidity. Anger over a joint agreement between the parties? It's not siding with the enemy, it's called negotiation... an activity commonly found in many governments internationally and even in some of our state level offices. The "winner take all" approach is a rather juvenile playground mentality and works better in marbles and war. Stick with what you know.
* It's fascinating when you realize that the earth was created the minute man developed a method of capturing stories and that his own evolution stopped when he refused to consider that life may have begun much much earlier than the stories.
* Nothing makes America safer than the ability to spy on its own people. Freedom's being able to live without threat of invasion of privacy not the right to buy an SUV.
* Quit navel-gazing. Show reality and let the public sort out their feelings. If they can't handle the truth of war, they shouldn't have elected a "war president". It's not insensitive to show the horror we've manufactured under the guise of installing freedom and democracy.
* Onward, ye Christian Soldiers.
* Sad when those producing the news are blind to their own hypocrisy.
* I'm wary of the "compromise" the Senators made on the filibuster. There's a reason they need to use it in these circumstances.
* $50 says Lucianne's little puppy whacks off to his fan mail.
* This week in judgemental stupidity, Dennis Prager informs us that without his God, all of our lives have no purpose. Well, let's get his God, it'll allow us to avoid paying taxes, have free accesss to those in power, we'll get to solicit unregulated funds over the airways and commit varied and widely publicized sins while being forgiven over and over each time we cry on TV. Neat huh? Gottagetagod.
The first in what appears to be a 10-part series (who's running out of things to say?), Motel 6's most prolific author and big game hunter, shares his view on what it takes to be a loser. We all need helpful hints from those more talented than ourselves from time to time. Let's check in on Dougie's corner of reality.
The large losers that I have met have rarely, if ever, touched the bible. They couldn’t care less if some of the greatest and most benevolent people in history were serious believers. To develop the Disaster Master Mind©, convince yourself that the Old and New Testaments are unsubstantiated fairy tales written by a bunch of men a bazillion years ago, and that it’s irrelevant for modern times—that is, according to your undergrad philosophy teacher. To assure your decline in life, I would never pray, read the scripture or remotely follow any of its teachings. As a matter of fact, if you really want to muck up your life, do the opposite of what it says. Develop a deep disdain for anything divine. Y’know what else would be good? Start a blog devoted to ridiculing God, Christ and Christianity. Yeah, that’s it. Do that for a while and see what happens.
I'd much rather devote a blog to ridiculing those biblical literalists who feel it's their calling to judge other with vast and unsubstantiated sweeping generalizations.
As for following biblical teachings, the administration appears to be allowed to pick and choose to suit their needs. Let's play along at home.
Leviticus 12:1-5 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, 2 Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days; according to the days of the separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean. 3 And in the eighth day the flesh of his foreskin shall be circumcised. 4 And she shall then continue in the blood of her purifying three and thirty days; she shall touch no hallowed thing, nor come into the sanctuary, until the days of her purifying be fulfilled. 5 But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her separation: and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six days.
It's not what's *IN* the bible, it's what you do with it.
Matthew 21:12-13 And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, 13 And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.
Course now, it's all televised... but the song remains the same. Like when ministers offer DVDs of their hunting exploits.
Gay marriage: It impacts the weak-minded. What a fantastically amazing power. Two people, in a monogamous and committed relationship can cause an individual across town to turn to the dark side. The "Force" seems weak by comparison.
That is one reason why we must oppose same-sex “marriage.” The minute it is socially and legally accepted by society, we will all feel the enormous psychological pressure to renounce our moral and religious convictions.
Is there a statue of limitations on how long you can taunt your best friend, after carting 3 gallons of gas to him in your 19 mpg truck when his hybrid ran out of fuel?
Think our Historian in Chief, ever read this?
Eisenhower wrote his brother Edgar on May 2, 1956: "Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again.... There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do these things. Among them are H.L. Hunt...a few other Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or businessman from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid."
Step 2 in the Underpants Gnomes quest has been found.
"I've made it very clear to the Congress that the use of federal money, taxpayers' money, to promote science which destroys life in order to save life -- I'm against that. And therefore if the bill does that, I will veto it," Bush told reporters.
- George Lucas redeemed himself.
- Whining is genetic. (see: Vader/Luke)
- I felt 10 again. A few moments of 1977 came flooding back.
- My God, Natalie Portman is *such* a hottie.
- Yoda rocks.
- All the lingering questions are answered.
- I need a lightsabre. technology, catch up.
- Go see it.
[T]he Freedom Tower should not be allowed to be built.
It's sort of like the way that Jerry Falwell starts up a school with a list of rules a mile long (hair code violation: $10. watching an R-rated movie: $50.) and then calls the place "Liberty University".
Why is no one is asking the truly amazing question: Where can I, a lowly tax-paying citizen, get a pentagon funded toilet that's designed so well, that it's able compensate for 3rd world water pressure *and* possesses enough strength to suck down a full-sized Koran? There's gotta be a market for this.
* Are you getting your money's worth? Is your state? Are your congresscritters standing up for you? Unless you live in Alaska, the answer is no.
* The White House press corps grew a set. A small set but worthy of notice anyway.
* Sunny day in fantasy land. Don't you wish this was true?
* Filibustering facts.
* Can you imagine the effort required to get *this* worked up over a movie you won't go see? Um, it's a flick. Hyped and commercialized, but a flick. Wow.
* Cambodians who do not study ancient Roman history.
* As the rhetoric builds to a frenetic pace, it's only surpassed by the infinite stupidity.
(AP) Iraq: Speaking on conditions of complete and total anonymity and from an underground bunker somewhere in the region formerly known as Mesopotamia, an unidentified source has provided evidence that both house to house fighting in Fallujah and surgical precision bombing in Baghdad may have led to the destruction of countless copies of the Holy Koran. Instances of the holy book being knocked to the floor and oftentimes jostled in such a way as to cause them temporary toilet residence, were significantly overshadowed by the vast number that instantly combusted along with their respective owners, when temperatures in the houses exceeded 451 degrees fahrenheit.
Sources close to the White House have indicated that investigations are underway to provide asbestos book covers to the entire Iraqi population to avoid this type of loss in future sorties. Out of a diplomatic respect for equality in religious expression, all efforts possible will be made to divert gunfire and other explosives, away from holy text and keep it on the populace at large. At the behest of the White House, Newsweek will be issuing a special edition Cliff Notes release of the Koran in English to be distributed across the vast Iraqi plains of democracy on the next APO run.
Michael Dukakis called, he wants his helmet back.
Think she explained to these folks how she was in charge of their post-war environment? Bet not.
What is it with the desperate return to puritanical law? Ohio's got no crime, no poverty, no unemployment and perfect roads, thus allowing their state legislature the free time to focus on defining sex for women.
Ohio women who use tampons can now rest easy that they're engaging in "sexual conduct," which is now defined under Sec. 2907.01 as "vaginal intercourse between a male and female; anal intercourse, fellatio, and cunnilingus between persons regardless of sex; and, without privilege to do so, the insertion, however slight, of any part of the body or any instrument, apparatus, or other object into the vaginal or anal cavity of another. Penetration, however slight, is sufficient to complete vaginal or anal intercourse."
Likewise, office workers will want to take care who they bump into at the water cooler, since "sexual contact" is now "any touching of an erogenous zone of another, including without limitation the thigh, genitals, buttock, pubic region, or, if the person is a female, a breast, for the purpose of sexually arousing or gratifying either person." And violators of either standard will also find that they have engaged in "sexual activity."
It appears we may witness a highly contested Republican Primary for Governor, the winner of which could be the victor in the 2006 General Election. Republican Governor Rick Perry is the incumbent. He was George W. Bush's gubernatorial running mate when Bush defeated Democratic Governor Ann Richards in 1994 and was re-elected with Bush in 1998. When Governor Bush became President Bush, Lt. Governor Rick Perry became Governor Rick Perry. Two years later Perry was elected in his own right. Now he is running for a second full term.
How hard is it to do just a wee bit of research before looking like an idiot? The sad thing, Bob Bullock (Lt. Governor 1994-98) was a *legend* in Texas. He actually ran the state for Bush during his first and *only* full term in office. In Texas, the Lt. Governor doesn't run on the same "ticket" as the Governor. Governor Goodhair does stand alone though as the first Republican Lt. Governor.
For the record, the 1994 Texas candidate results were:
Governor Ann W. Richards(I) DEM 2,016,928 45.87% George W. Bush REP 2,350,994 53.47% Keary Ehlers LIB 28,320 0.64% ----------- Race Total 4,396,242 ---------------------------------------- Lieutenant Governor Bob Bullock(I) DEM 2,631,843 61.48% H.J. (Tex) Lezar REP 1,648,848 38.51% ----------- Race Total 4,280,691 ---------------------------------------- Commissioner of Agriculture Marvin Gregory DEM 1,479,692 35.98% Rick Perry(I) REP 2,546,287 61.92% Clyde L. Garland LIB 85,836 2.08% ----------- Race Total 4,111,815
Just for fun and results, not that surprising.
What is Your World View? (corrected...hopefully)
created with QuizFarm.com
* Bigger Brother bill sails through House and Senate with zero opposition. Citizens nap.
* Kansas backs up the buick, accelerates and shoves their heads further up their collective asses. Paleontologists giggle.
* Uzbekistan boils their citizens. White House touts relationship and asks for recipe.
* Jesus hates filibusters. Third party spokespeople agree.
In Ohio, the Rev. Rod Parsley of the World Harvest Church said at a gathering of 1,000 Patriot Pastors last week that the issues underscoring the filibuster fight transcend partisan politics.
"We're not Democrats. We're not Republicans. We're Christocrats," he declared.
* The Koran, fuel for ideological fire. Flushing puts out fire.
* Oil for Food Scandal. Good for US business.
* God created the heavens, the earth and marijuana. Which one get's you five years for abusing?
* Frist rule of "Nuclear Option". Do not talk about Nuclear Option.
Good thing it's all Newsweek's fault, huh? I'd hate to think of who would take the blame if we were abusing prisoner or something. What would this administration do without their media stool pigeon?
The monkeys were unceremoniously offlined this morning due to "MT abuse". (see: spam) New filtering (Spamlookup)has been implemented that will be vastly more restrictive but hopefully not too cumbersome for the random commentor.
Normal snarking to resume momentarily.
In the meantime, go check out:
Shorter Leah McLaren: If you ignore all my other columns, you'll recognize this as being satire.
WASHINGTON (AP) — The Pentagon proposed Friday about 180 military installations from Maine to Hawaii including 33 major bases, triggering the first round of base closures in a decade and an intense struggle by communities to save their facilities.
Underscoring the sweep of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld's plan, the 33 major bases he would shutter are more than any of the previous four rounds of closings. He would also close or reduce the personnel at hundreds of smaller facilities that would remain open. (Related: Full Pentagon list | PDF with plan details)
Overall, Rumsfeld said his plan would save $48.8 billion over 20 years while making the military more mobile and better suited for the global effort against terrorism.
Rumsfeld's proposal calls for a massive shift of U.S. forces, leading to a net loss of 29,005 military and civilian jobs, including personnel who would be moved home from overseas. He proposed cutting a total of 218,570 military and civilian positions from some bases while adding 189,565 positions to others, Pentagon documents show.
It's a crucifiable offense when this happens under a Democrat but justifiable under a Republican. For those keeping score at home, here's your history lesson.
Reality's trumping Spin
WASHINGTON -- An unchastened insurgency sowed devastation across Iraq Wednesday as experts here said the country is either on the verge of civil war or already in the middle of it.
In the course of the day: Four car bombs detonated in Baghdad; a man wearing explosives at an army recruitment center in Hawija, north of Baghdad, blew himself and many others up; a car bomb exploded in a marketplace in Tikrit, north of Baghdad; and the country's largest fertilizer plant was heavily damaged by a bomb in the usually quiet southern city of Basra. Meanwhile, U.S. Marines were winding up a remarkable pitched battle against surprisingly well-equipped and determined insurgents on Iraq's western border. Some 76 Iraqis were reported killed and more than 120 wounded in the one day of violence.
With security experts reporting that no major road in the country was safe to travel, some Iraq specialists speculated that the Sunni insurgency was effectively encircling the capital and trying to cut it off from the north, south and west, where there are entrenched Sunni communities. East of Baghdad is a mostly unpopulated desert bordering on Iran.
"It's just political rhetoric to say we are not in a civil war. We've been in a civil war for a long time," said Pat Lang, the former top Middle East intelligence official at the Pentagon.
In a final and desperate attempt to win over 100% of the Senate majority, Bolton makes them an offer, they can't refuse.
* Um, in the butt, Bob?
* Cancelled, due to lack of interest or they couldn't afford to continue paying guests.
* Tom Ridge's career plans have just been elevated to "High Alert" status.
* Hey George, whattaya make of this British memo? "A hat, a brooch or a pterodactyl".
* Ongoing Mutually Assured Stupidity. Please duck and cover.
* Confuse your favorite winger, use facts.
Equal Opportunity Taunting
Oh, the horror... the horror
Some walked slowly to Union Station, taking out their cell phones and conducting business as usual. Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-Mass., shuffled in the afternoon heat, leaning against a pole and pausing to catch his breath.
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., was literally lifted out of her pinkish high heels by Capitol Police in a hallway outside the House chamber. One shoe was later found; the other remains missing.
at least, according to these folks.
Holy Mackerel! BushFish... what a perfect name for a lesbian bar.
The overwhelming reduction in violence, our raging success, the complete and total winning of the hearts and minds and last but not least, the ability to vote & do your nails has Ms Coulter providing us with this snippet of really good news.
One of the Sunnis picked for a cabinet post turned it down on the grounds that he thought he was chosen simply to fill a Sunni quota. "I don't believe in sectarianism," he said, "I believe in democracy." So I'll be moving to Iraq soon to live in a country that forcefully rejects quotas.
mmmmkay, bye bye.
Just the facts, ma'am
Rep. Jeb Hensarling's Connections to Tom DeLay
from Tom DeLay's PAC
to DeLay's Legal Defense Fund
of the time with DeLay
(687 of 709 votes)
Where I come from, this isn't leadership, this is a lemming.
* Methinks, the IRS has enough potential work available to them to keep their auditors busy for the next decade or so and may have the opportunity to assist in solving a large portion of the national debt. Here's to the merging of church and state, as long as the state's getting their fair share.
* Who would have dreamed that in our lifetimes we'd be returning to the Scopes monkey trial? We're witnessing, ironically, the de-evolution of the education of our youth as we rip apart science, fail to treat sex education as part of biology and health and limit the scope of understanding to a book written by people who thought the earth was flat.
* Laura Bush, now appearing nightly through June at the DC Improv, will be capitalizing on her ribal and stunning portrayal of the president's penchant for large animal "husbandry". How is the administration's fan base taking this dramatic change? Let's check in with them.
Brent Bozell's not happy, but criticizing the administration's foreign territory and therefore, treads lightly.
By contrast with the Chippendales comedy routine, the First Lady gives a completely different impression in the May issue of Ladies' Home Journal, explaining how she tried to bring up her daughters by showing them her own self-discipline, by taking them to church and, even now, by taking care of her mother, who has moved into a retirement home.
America is grateful for a president and first lady who lead lives that don't look anything like "Desperate Housewives." The Bush family now needs to resist the urge to pander to Hollywood for political gain, and focus more attention on the growing American majority horrified by what that industry is teaching their children nightly.
The Catholics, not nearly as amused.
Within limits, graciousness and wit are qualities that should be generously appreciated. However, in these times, where all of society and especially youth are exposed to so many negative influences in a sex-saturated world, the nation’s leaders should be wholesome models regardless of the context of their actions.
Diana West though is just appalled.
Why? When a woman happens to be first lady, "funny" at any expense isn't part of the job description, not when "funny" comes at the expense of her husband's image. And I don't mean "image" as in public relations product. I mean "image" as in public symbol. World leader. Commander-in-chief. In these explosive times, with tens of thousands of soldiers under arms. Which is a sobering thought, or should be.
* John Stossel's not just a refreshing addition to Townhall, he's also their leading authority on sugar usage and its affect on children and your daily water needs. Fascinating stuff. If you missed his last piece on coffee quality, you've not lived.
* SCLM update. Ah, the ties that bind.
Freedom is slavery
What's all the fuss with the Real ID Act about? President Bush is expected to sign an $82 billion military spending bill soon that will, in part, create electronically readable, federally approved ID cards for Americans. The House of Representatives overwhelmingly approved the package--which includes the Real ID Act--on Thursday.
What does that mean for me?
Starting three years from now, if you live or work in the United States, you'll need a federally approved ID card to travel on an airplane, open a bank account, collect Social Security payments, or take advantage of nearly any government service. Practically speaking, your driver's license likely will have to be reissued to meet federal standards.
Aren't you excited? The same government where the CIA doesn't talk to the FBI and the FBI won't talk to the FAA and the DHS is 20something interagencies who are still trying to enter the 20th century want to implement a National ID to keep tabs on you. Terrorists are still not being caught and the deficit is increasing exponentially but your ass needs to be monitored.
Why does our government trust Saudi royals but not US citizens?
Watch for a rise in RFID reader sales, hacks, and unique methods for deactivation.
When our Preznit has his petrol buddies over, he holds their hands and strolls through the bluebonnets, when paired up with oil free nations he embodies the grace, wisdom and style of a petulant 3 year old.
After Bush finished, Vike-Freiberga then explained that they would take four questions — one for each president. Again, Bush tried to interrupt, saying, "Or you can have all four questions to me," knowing that foreign reporters usually want to use the opportunity to probe the U.S. president.
Vike-Freiberga ignored the remark as she called on a Latvian journalist, and Bush threw his arms up and looked to help from aides offstage. The Latvian journalist said he would prefer to question the U.S. leader, and Bush responded, "Yeah, I thought that might be the case."
And as he predicted, all four questions were for him.
Congratulations to Darlene Ewing on her new role as chair of the Dallas County Democratic Party.
I truly believe she possesses what this party needs in a leader right now.
* Dallas Voters: Thank you for voting down the Blackwood proposal. As written, it was way too aggressive and eliminated any possibility for the establishment of effective checks and balances. On the flip-side, Dallas does need a stronger mayor. The city council has made noise about an alternative plan being put on the ballot for the Novemember election. Here's where Dallas needs to put the same level of pressure on each of the recently re-elected council members to make good on their promises under threat of removal.
* Jeb Hensarling, a voting record you can count on. He voted for $82 billion for Iraq while voting against $1.3 billion on vocational education. Vast graft and mismanagement in the theatre of war, he's for... strengthening the populace at home, not so much.
* DCDP Chair vote is tonight. In an effort to maintain what little hair I have and respect for Democratic leaders in this city, I don't think I'm going to attend the meeting tonight. For what it's worth I believe Darlene Ewing to be the most viable candidate in the horse race.
* Intelligent Design as proof of Social Darwinism? What is it with the rise in 'flat-earth' type belief systems?
* Jesus loves you but we don't have to. Somebody's tax exempt status needs to be revoked.
* Persecution vs perceived/manufactured persecution. When idiots don't know when they've got it good.
* Framing the debate, Religious Supremacists does seem to fit the bill quite nicely. Supremacists, historically do not have a record of behaving nicely. Please be careful out there.
* Holy Mary Sideshow Circus. Could we get someone under that overpass in Chicago to poll how these people voted?
* Because 3rd in command (or field promotion casualty) sounds better than mid-level management?
* Fixing Iraq by throwing money at it... the *other* approach.
Everything you wanted to know about big game hunting but were afraid to pay for...
source, unknown (via paul)
An Open Letter to President George Bush
Dear President Bush:
Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving. California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all of the Northeast.
We spoke to God, and he agrees that this split will be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California. In fact, God is so excited about it, he's going to shift the whole country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be back in their states by then.
So you get Texas and all the former slave states. We get the Governor, stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get all the technological innovation in Alabama. We get about two-thirds of the tax revenue, and you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms to support, and we know how much you like that.
Did I mention we produce about 70% of the nation's veggies? But heck, the only greens the Bible-thumpers eat are the pickles on their BigMacs. Oh yeah, another thing, don't plan on serving California wine at your state dinners. From now on it's imported French wine for you. (Ouch, bet that hurts!)
Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice and anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to want all Blue States' citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight, just ask your evangelicals. They have tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming home.
Anyway, we wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope, really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. Soon.
With the Blue States in hand, the Democrats have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, over 90% of our pineapple and lettuce, 92% of all fresh fruit production, 93% of the artichoke production, 95% of America's export quality wines, 90% of all cheese production, 90% of the high tech industry, most of the US low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Stanford, Berkeley, CalTech and MIT. We can live simply but well.
The Red States, on the other hand, now have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care cost spike), 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of all tornadoes, 90% of all hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, 100% of all Televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. A high price to pay for controlling the presidency.
Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually eaten by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% believe that evolution is just a theory, 53% that Saddam Hussein was involved in 9/11 and - most hard to grasp - 61% believe that Bush is a person of moral conviction.
The Blue States
Good news! The Tolltag/RFID segement of HB-2893 has been removed.
HB-2893 was substituted in Committee before being reported out. In other words, the bill was changed to remove the transponder and enforcement provisions before the previously reported 8-0 favorable vote.
NO ELECTRONIC IDENTIFICATION OR TOLL TAG
The bill (HB-2893) that will go to the full House no
longer contains the electronic identification and toll
You may resume your somnambulist position.
* Sensenbrenner's really busy this session, ain't he? He's not only interested in keeping tabs on the populace but also pretty darn focused on incarcerating as many non-violents as possible. That's what you get when the true constituency isn't the voter, but the privatized prison system.
* If your shit, truly don't stink, you should be able to face the media, no?
* Still measuring success through rose colored glasses, check again.
From the Chronicle.
State Rep. Joe Moreno, D-Houston, was killed in an overnight traffic accident near La Grange, officials with the Texas Department of Public Safety said today.
Moreno, who was first elected to represent Houston's east side in1998, was traveling east on Texas 71 when the wheels of his pickup truck evidently slipped off the road's shoulder, said DPS reports.
* Is Texas enacting legislation to protect Bush retroactively? I see no other reason for this bill to exist.
* This is so wrong, so funny and so not work safe. Speaking of Coulter, her column this week is so disjointed it begs for a 12 step recovery program. She skips from DeLay, to Katie Couric and then give us this on Bolton "I repeat: Bolton has been nominated to be ambassador to the United Nations. It's not like it's an important job. Get a grip, people! He's not replacing Paula Abdul on "American Idol." Wow.
* It's refreshing to hear how our democracy spreading and freedom giving is working in Iraq. I'd hate to think some of our bad traits might rub off on them.
* Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it... or at a minimum, be affected by it.
* If you lose your job in DC due to a scandal or misconduct, create a "coalition group" and just keep doin' whatcher doin'. feh!
* Mission Accomplished, redux.
* The hypocrisy of "Lest We Forget" is the forgetting part.
* Which part of this article is the most offensive? For me, it's this line "In short, Democrats as a class -- like smokers -- have, uh, issues. So let's just extend this hiring ban to cover unhappy, anti-social, self-destructive, unhealthy Democrats." You?
Weren't we attacked on September 11th by Saudi nationals and a few other non-citizens? Why is our approach, to tighten security and to dig deeper into the lives of actual citizens? In a overtly partisan maneuver to get talking points for the 2006 elections, Republicans have inserted a rider on the Iraq appropriations bill that gives them a "voted against it quote" and reduces privacy at home while still promoting freedom abroad. Sheer Machiavellian genius.
The REAL ID bill, authored by Rep. James Sensenbrenner, R-Wis., would require state motor vehicle departments to verify an applicant's identity and legal right to be in the country before issuing a driver's license.
States would not be forced to comply, but if they did not within three years their drivers' licenses would cease to be federally recognized for identity purposes and could not be used to board planes or access federal buildings.
A Federal ID card? The religious right aren't totally asking for Sensenbrenner's head? This is the kind of stuff, the Apocalypticians dream of. When again, did it become so important that the government get bigger and increasingly more intrusive?
Sensenbrenner has a bit of a history in this genre.
This is an important step in protecting Americans’ privacy. Maintaining privacy is just one small step the government can take to help Americans secure their financial interests. I laud the Treasury Department’s decision, and hope it will help people throughout Wisconsin feel more secure about their financial futures.
Who's going to manage this level of oversight, an organization that functions like the TSA? Who now, won't allow a cigarette lighter (Richard Reid used matches, which are allowed) and need your birth date and full name. Just in case George Smith and Mary Thomas suddenly pop up on a "watch list"? The simple act of instituting this system would cost billions and I thought Social Security was in trouble? How good can it be if even the DHS isn't behind it?
They're manufacturing their own end times.
If you're a Democratic Governor and you introduce taxes... Grover Norquist requests your head on a pike.
It was just a matter of time – Democrat Gov. Kathleen Blanco has finally proposed what has been rumored for weeks – a $120 million tax increase to pay off her neglected backers in the teachers unions. Gov. Blanco proposes to raise cigarette taxes by 50 cents per pack, raise other tobacco taxes, raise beer taxes by 25%, double wine taxes, and raise more than 30% in spirits taxes, plus increase gambling taxes. She would use this money to give $1000 raises to teachers, $250-500 raises to school support staff, and an unspecified raise to college professors. But teachers say these raises are not enough – the union bosses say any raise less than $2000 is “not serious.” Keep in mind, Louisiana’s budget is $18 billion. Gov. Blanco’s $120 million is only 0.667% of the budget – if she can’t find less than one percent of savings in the budget to pay for her pay raises, then she is not qualified to be governor. We will be contacting state legislators and local media to oppose these new taxes. If you live in Louisiana, contact your Senator and Representative and tell them to oppose new taxes!
However, if you have a Republican Governor and Legislature, the same approach to state financing is just peachy.
SUBCHAPTER B. IMPOSITION AND COLLECTION OF TAX
Sec. 164.051. TAX IMPOSED. (a) A tax is imposed on each
sale at retail of soft drinks or snack food.
(b) The tax rate is three percent of the sales price of the
soft drinks or snack food.
(c) The tax imposed under this chapter is in addition to any
other tax imposed by state law.
Sec. 164.052. EXCEPTIONS TO APPLICATION OF TAX. The tax
imposed under this chapter does not apply to a food or a beverage
sold in or by a restaurant, lunch counter, cafeteria, hotel,
organization listed as a 501(c)(3) under the Internal Revenue Code
of 1986, or other business for consumption on the premises of the
Sec. 164.053. RULES. The comptroller by rule shall
prescribe the manner in which the tax imposed under this chapter is
administered, imposed, and collected.
Bits and Pieces
* Proof that it really does help to get your message out to the masses.
* 2000 - 1, Odds this grows any legs.
* Texas legislative logic.
* Planning a wedding? Think you might get cold feet? Pre-knit yourself a return trip hidey blanket.
* How's our economy doing? Shove the talking points aside and look at the pattern we're creating.
* As goes Texas, so goes the nation. DeLay & Bush, posterboys.
* Received via email. Fact or Fiction? You decide.
* Another fine example of that SCLM.
* When the need for emergency trumps the use of logic.
* Just *exactly* what the GOP needs.
* Why are people still supporting this industry?
Who Said That?
Ferree, who admitted that he doesn’t watch many PBS shows, compared The News Hour with Jim Lehrer to Shakespeare and described it as “slow.” In the evening, after a hard day, he said, “Sometimes I really just want a People magazine.”
The president of CPB? Wonder what ole Bozell thinks about this...
THE STATE WANTS A TOLL TAG ON EVERY VEHICLE
Representative Larry Phillips, Vice-Chair of the House Transportation
Committee, has filed HB-2893 a bill that if passed will require every motor vehicle in Texas to be equipped with an electronic toll tag. If Phillips gets what he wants your inspection sticker will contain an electronic device called a transponder. This is the same radio signal device called a toll tag. It will contain detailed identification and information about your car that can be tied to your registration and title information. It will also be used to charge tolls for all present and future toll roads and other toll facilities statewide.
This technology will allow any motor vehicle in Texas to be remotely identified and tracked without the driver's knowledge. In fact, that s exactly what this bill is intended to do. The state (or even worse a private contractor for the state) will electronically monitor vehicles on the highway and check them against a insurance database. Registered owners of vehicles that do not appear in the insurance database will be sent a bill for $250.00.
Anywhere a nearby radio signal can be beamed at your vehicle it can be identified.
There is no question that this is just the tip of the iceberg if we start down the path of establishing a Big Brother system administered by fee and fine mercenaries.
Instantly freeways, highways, roads, and special lanes can become tolled. The code word for this program is "Managed Lanes." There is an agenda here. There is big money in tolls and private enforcement programs. There are giant opportunities for abuse and attacks on civil liberties.
Today it will monitor your insurance. What will it monitor tomorrow?
Remember Texas Transportation Commission Chairman Ric Williamson's
quote? On October 11, 2004 he said, "in your lifetime most existing roads will have tolls." He said existing roads, not just new roads, or special toll roads. Yes, the future is taxing through tolls.
Now we know how they will collect the tolls from all of us!
EXCERPT FROM HB-2893
Sec. 601.507. SPECIAL INSPECTION CERTIFICATES.
(a) Commencing not later than January 1, 2006, the department shall issue or contract for the issuance of special inspection certificates to be affixed to motor vehicles that are inspected and found to be in proper and safe condition under Chapter 548.
(b) An inspection certificate under this section must contain a tamper-resistant transponder, and at a minimum, be capable of storing:
(1) the transponder's unique identification number; and
(2) the make, model, and vehicle identification number of the vehicle to which the certificate is affixed.
(c) In addition, the transponder must be compatible with: (1) the automated vehicle registration and certificate of title system established by the Texas Department of Transportation; and
(2) interoperability standards established by the Texas Department of Transportation and other entities for use of the system of toll roads and toll facilities in this state.
Did someone not get Bush the memo on nuclear proliferation?
The United States pressed the conference taking stock of the 1970 Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty to ensure Tehran and Pyongyang were denied peaceful nuclear energy benefits because they had violated the pact.
The United States and other countries accuse Iran of a covert 18-year effort to develop nuclear arms under the guise of NPT membership. Tehran says the programs are aimed at producing domestic electric power.
But I thought Bush shrugged this off...
And what the Iranians have said was, don't we deserve to have a nuclear power industry just like you do? I've kind of wondered why they need one since they've got all the oil, but nevertheless, others in the world say, well, maybe that's their right to have their own civilian nuclear power industry. And what Russia has said: Fine, we'll provide you the uranium, we'll enrich it for you and provide it to you, and then we'll collect it. And I appreciate that gesture. I think it's -- so I think Vladimir was trying to help there. I know Vladimir Putin understands the dangers of a Iran with a nuclear weapon. And most of the world understands that, as well.
* Why are the biggest and most vocal proponents of abstinence, married men?
* What is it about the 'end of days' believers that makes them align with the party that's working the hardest to make the prophecies come to pass?
* Why do priests feel qualified to play the role of marriage counselor?
* Why does the culture of life not apply to; children without healthcare, victims of genocide, prisoners, & Iraqi civilians?
* What is it about homosexuals that makes butch men in small towns, quake in their boots?
* Why can a government war contractor lose $9 billion and not be penalized but missed student loan payments can cause a reduction in Social Security benefits?
* How does the religious wing of the GOP maintain their tax-exempt status while influencing so much policy?
* Why can't our president answer questions with hard facts?
* What is it about American voters that causes them to vote against 100% of their best interests?
Oh the chills that overwhelm my uniquely coiffed being. I sense a deep dark cloud of foreboading despite the chirping of the birds outside my window and the warm rays of sun streaming through my eastern window. After being awakened three times last night by nocturnal invasions of The Tsetse, it's amazing I'm able to get up by eleven.
After plowing through 15 nostalgic Sloe Gin Fizzes last night I could swear they were tapping out a speed metal piece on my liver. It used to take a literal cocktail army to disable me in this manner. Packed in on top of all that Haggis, I could swear I have the plumbing of someone twice my age.
Swinging my pasty white legs out of the warm envelope of 600 threadcount and what appears to be my own urine, I planted both of my bipedal transport units solidly on the floor and stood up. When I came to 10 minutes later I found myself swimming in a toxic combination of orange shag carpet, 1920's postcards (knocked carelessly from the nightstand) and a mixture of what I can only deciper as two hairballs and my own vomit. I pray the hairballs were a pre-existing anomaly.
Trotting downstairs like a parkinson's patient with a spastic colon, I notice Tsetse's permanantly engaged in her morning ritual of Hershey's syrup, Cap'n Crunch, No-Doze and a pre-made Starbucks Mochachino. God, that girl's got spunk. Gotta be her mom's influence.
As I passed the doorway, an ad came on for Viagra, and Tsetse, hearing me in the hallway, turns and asks, "Don't you use that too?". In my present condition, my renaissance wit failed me and I replied "You precocious little twit, my limp dick is your mom's fault and you can thank your very existence on the creation of that drug!!" and then shuffled on off to the bathroom to make something of my disheveled hair.
After emptying all of my orifices into the immaculately restored turn of the century porcelain water closet, I returned to the TV room to restore my gender converse Oedipal relationship with Tsetse. Man, that Smurfette had it good, didn't she? Boomerang is the best thing in TV programming since the the original airing of "Car 54".
To Do List
The making of law, like the making of sausage, is said to be necessarily messy. I'm not so sure. Not all sausages are equal. Neither are laws. Or lawmakers. Some are less disgusting than others.
Ah, the infamous Boudin vs Haggis precedent.
"George didn't know much about ranches when we bought the place. Andover and Yale don't have real strong ranching programs. But I'm proud of George. He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What's worse, it was a male horse."
Which is worse, the mental imagery we're exposed to or the horribly recycled joke?
L.G.: Why can't I make my own decision?Judge Alvarez: I don't know.
L.G.: You don't know? Aren't you the judge?
Wisdom of a teen eclipses that of the sitting judge. Sad, so sad.
Since Thursday, when Iraq's interim government finally appointed a partial Cabinet after three months of political infighting, at least 127 people, including 11 Americans, have been killed in a slew of bombings, ambushes and other attacks.
Q Your top military officer, General Richard Myers, says the Iraqi insurgency is as strong now as it was a year ago. Why is that the case? And why haven't we been more successful in limiting the violence?
THE PRESIDENT: I think he went on to say we're winning, if I recall. But nevertheless, there are still some in Iraq who aren't happy with democracy. They want to go back to the old days of tyranny and darkness, torture chambers and mass graves. I believe we're making really good progress in Iraq, because the Iraqi people are beginning to see the benefits of a free society. They're beginning -- they saw a government formed today.
Which explains why he thinks, tax cuts are good for the economy, borrowing to change Social Security makes sense, pre-emptive attacks against non-threatening nations work and that facts cloud his views.
They had a soldiers’ talent show on Thursday night; some of the acts were very good! The winner was a guy with a guitar who mixed lyrics of an alternative band called Weezer and a rapper named Snoop Dogg. It was brilliant and the crowd loved him.
By the way, more evidence has been found to link the news “stringers” for the mainstream media to terrorist sympathizers. Ever wonder how the alphabet soup networks can get pictures of cars still on fire, when the crews are sitting in a comfy hotel room inside the green zone?
Or snackin' in the mess hall, checking the soda inventory or attending talent shows.