June 30, 2006

The Flavor of Behavior

* The military is no longer needed in Iraq, our Congresscritters are now getting directly involved.

* ...and then they came for the media and it had no voice and could not scream.

* Holy loss of base batman.

* Why aren't the SWIFT boat veterans for truth upset about this?

* Who better than Rush to champion beinghaving a big dick.

* PBS' must watch show on President Cheney.

* Odd, I thought the Times' contribution to the justification for war to be more treasonous than reporting on spying techniques Bush has already told us about.

* Some day in the future, there will be moments where severe right-wing apologists will make an argument and not hold up Michael Moore as the single spokesperson for the left. Some day.

Posted by kerry at 03:28 AM | Comments (0)

June 29, 2006

Why is Global Warming not real?

Because John Stossel's moustache says so:

SCARBOROUGH: I think we already—isn‘t the problem in the end, though, Tyson, even if America does that, even if Great Britain and the western powers do that, you have China and India and these developing country that is don‘t have any environmental regulation regulations and the polluting coming from that region is going to dwarf what the United States puts out.

SLOCUM: Actually, China just implemented stronger full economy standards than the United States. So China is starting to understand it. They are starting to understand the ravages that there heavy reliance on coal is.

I am not holding up China as a model of environmental activism, but what the reality is that the United States with less than five percent of the world‘s population contributes to 25 percent of the world‘s carbon dioxide emissions. China, with a billion and a half people contributes 14 percent. So what we clearly need international cooperation and we cannot deny .

STOSSEL: Sounds like socialism to me.

SCARBOROUGH: All right. John, I will give you the final word to clear up the myths, the lies, the downright stupidity that Al Gore and others may be giving Americans.

STOSSEL: That took me 300 pages in the book in the book. Let me just say that this, at bottom is a hatred of capitalism and a hatred of industrial production. Yes, it‘s true, we produce more carbon dioxide, but we are also the cleanest country in the world.

As we get wealthier, the air gets cleaner and we can afford to do things that maybe some day if the globe is warming we have to make adjustments, it‘s our wealth that will allow us to save the world. If we let these socialists control our lives, we will be worse off.

In short, Global Warming isn't something worth fighting because:

A. The Chinese aren't interested in combating it.
B. Americans who want to do something about it are Socialists.
C. 30 Helens agree.

Would the networks please stop relying solely on the opinions of their dumbfuck talking heads to try and debunk science?

Posted by kerry at 08:40 AM | Comments (0)



PRESIDENT BUSH: Well, yes, I thought it was absurd for people to think that we're more dangerous than Iran. It's a -- we're a transparent democracy. People know exactly what's on our mind. We debate things in the open. We've got a legislative process that's active. Look, people didn't agree with my decision on Iraq, and I understand that. For Europe, September the 11th was a moment; for us, it was a change of thinking. I vowed to the American people I would do everything to defend our people, and will. I fully understood that the longer we got away from September the 11th, more people would forget the lessons of September the 11th. But I'm not going to forget them. And, therefore, I will be steadfast and diligent and strong in defending our country.

I don't govern by polls, you know. I just do what I think is right. And I understand some of the decisions I made are controversial. But I made them in the best interest of our country, and I think in the best interest of the world. I believe when you look back at this moment, people will say, it was right to encourage democracy in the Middle East. I understand some people think that it can't work. I believe in the universality of freedom; some don't. I'm going to act on my beliefs so long as I'm the President of the United States. Some people say, it's okay to condemn people for -- to tyranny. I don't believe it's okay to condemn people to tyranny, particularly those of us who live in the free societies.

Some days, the boy king is quotable as is; with no comments, links, or additional snark required. Pure poetry in motion.

Posted by kerry at 02:22 AM | Comments (0)

June 28, 2006

Sliding Scale

Apparently, Abu Ghraib.. wasn't real torture.

For example, the liberal press' unending preoccupation with American abuses of Iraqi detainees had a number of deleterious consequences. One was a further undermining of Arab and Muslim support for America's liberation of Iraq. But the longest-lasting negative effect was probably the cheapening of the word "torture."

It undermined the war against torture to characterize what some Americans did to some Iraqis in the Abu Ghraib prison -- actions that were indeed sick, un-American and shameful to our military -- as "torture." Labeling abuses as "torture" filled me with pity for all the people around the world who had experienced real torture.

Yeah, for real torture, we use rendition. Compassionate Conservatives can justify just about anything, can't they?

Posted by kerry at 09:25 AM | Comments (0)

Excellence in Broadcasting

Rock hard evidence?

Limbaugh, 55, was detained for more than three hours Monday at Palm Beach International Airport after he returned on his private plane from a vacation in the Dominican Republic. Customs officials found Viagra in his bag, but his name wasn't on the prescription, Palm Beach County sheriff's spokesman Paul Miller said.

Limbaugh's lawyer, Roy Black, said the prescription was written in Limbaugh's doctor's name "for privacy purposes." The conservative radio host was released without being charged and investigators confiscated the Viagra, which treats erectile dysfunction.

Where's the crime? The laws of man apply not to the chosen. The one true voice of the conservative force in America, should be allowed to move freely across international waters with all the cock-assist he needs to get over the failure of all of his marriages and the most recent breakup with Ms. Kagan. Family values are in great jeopardy if Mr. Limbaugh is cock-blocked from his spawning efforts through out the Antilles.

Posted by kerry at 03:44 AM | Comments (0)

June 27, 2006

Dogs won't eat grapes

Mix and Match, use liberally.

* First they came for the phone records and few were alarmed... now they're using banking data and there's only a murmer... remember, erosion doesn't occur overnight.

* Honor and dignity, fully restored.

* Conflicting voices inside Bush's head does not a debate, make.

* When your string of successes are all malevolent in nature, incompetence doesn't factor into the equation. A degree of ineptness at being a contributing member of humanity, maybe.

* It may be Bush's war... but it's our money.

* Breeders only need apply.

* Maybe the issue is, that even after a rescue... a battered wife still flinches.

* Who said puppetry was a lost art?

* Ironic that less people want to protect the bald eagle than the inanimate flag.

Posted by kerry at 03:08 AM | Comments (0)

June 26, 2006

rutting & cunning

What level of twisted perverse logic has to be applied, to repeatedly vote to continue the war in Iraq with no planned or desired endpoint? Is the House and Senate (especially for the majority) such an insular bubble that they're unable to see how successful they've been? For every manufactured justification for pre-emptive shock and awe, they have results they can point to. Guees, it makes some sense, given the degree to which they seem myopically challenged. We're in year 4 now of the conflict and they've yet to budget appropriately.

Justifications for Iraq:

Maybe the issue with Iraq standing up is that we're sitting on their lap.

Posted by kerry at 03:20 AM | Comments (0)

June 24, 2006

They're standing up

June 24, 2006 - A timetable for withdrawal of occupation troops from Iraq. Amnesty for all insurgents who attacked U.S. and Iraqi military targets. Release of all security detainees from U.S. and Iraqi prisons. Compensation for victims of coalition military operations.

(...) they're also key clauses of a national reconciliation plan drafted by new Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, who will unveil it Sunday.

It truly is time to let them begin driving the bus themselves no matter how shitty a job they may do.

Posted by kerry at 10:41 AM | Comments (0)

June 22, 2006


Maybe Ann Coulter should have been Scott McClellan's replacement... she sure has a flair for the dramatic and truly is the voice of God... Old Testament style.

I dedicate this column to John Murtha, the reason soldiers invented fragging. In response to the arguments of my opponents, I say: Waaaaaaaaaah! Boo hoo hoo!

If you're upset about what I said about the Witches of East Brunswick, try turning the page. Surely, I must have offended more than those four harpies. Wait 'til you get a load of what I say about liberals in the rest of the book! You haven't seen the half of it.

Matthew 25:40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

Matthew 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

Posted by kerry at 10:29 AM | Comments (3)

2006 Election Tip

How to win as an incumbent.

  1. Declare WMDs found in an effort to bolster your 18% slip in the polls. Don't mention your fantasy of man/dog love.
  2. Abstain from voting and thus ensuring yourself another guaranteed raise without any performance review and then work your ass off to block an increase to the minimum wage.
  3. Make bilingual ballots a sticking point as to why the Voting Rights Act of 1965 shouldn't be renewed.

Lather, rinse, repeat... ad infinitum.

Posted by kerry at 06:17 AM | Comments (0)

Overrunning and Underthinking

We're going to find out after this administration's out of office that Donald Rumsfeld had senile dementia. There's no other explanation for his Reagan-esque behavior.

The topic was the largest defense procurement scandal in recent decades, and the two investigators for the Pentagon's inspector general in Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld's office on April 1, 2005, asked the secretary to raise his hand and swear to tell the truth.

Rumsfeld agreed but complained. "I find it strange," he said to the investigators, on the grounds that as a government official "the laws apply to me" anyway.

It was a bumpy start to an odd interview, as Rumsfeld cited poor memory, loose office procedures, and a general distraction with "the wars" in Iraq and Afghanistan to explain why he was unsure how his department came to nearly squander $30 billion leasing several hundred new tanker aircraft that its own experts had decided were not needed.


Anyone else think they could maintain employment after a fuckup of this magnitude?

Posted by kerry at 02:13 AM | Comments (0)

June 21, 2006

Madly flapping in an arc over the cukoo's nest

* "Catch and release", bad for immigrants, good for terrorists?

* Wonder if the real reason DHS official was arrested wasn't the sex aspect?

* Beating; punching with fists; use of truncheons; kicking; slamming against walls; stretching or suspension (to tear ligaments or muscles to cause asphyxia); external electric shocks; forcing prisoners to abase and to urinate on themselves; forced masturbation... brought to you by the same folks who think homosexuality is a disorder. (link)

* Texas, failing its residents one special session at a time.

* The first amendment, now with more treason.

* Yes Tony, it *is* just a number... but all numbers represent something.

* Talk about missed opportunities... instead of dismantling the Ba'athist stranglehold on Iraq, we could have simply installed Bill O'Reilly as the malevolent dictator.

Posted by kerry at 05:08 AM | Comments (0)

June 20, 2006

3 of the 31 flavors from Bullshit Robbins

Cognitive Dissonance ^10

NEW YORK The Washington Post has obtained a cable, marked "sensitive," that it says shows that just before President Bush left on a surprise trip last Monday to the Green Zone in Baghdad for an upbeat assessment of the situation there, "the U.S. Embassy in Iraq painted a starkly different portrait of increasing danger and hardship faced by its Iraqi employees."

This cable outlines, the Post reported Sunday, "the daily-worsening conditions for those who live outside the heavily guarded international zone: harassment, threats and the employees' constant fears that their neighbors will discover they work for the U.S. government."

It's actually far worse than that, as the details published below indicate, which include references to abductions, threats to women's rights, and "ethnic cleansing."

President Bush spoke similarly at a Republican fund-raiser here Monday night, asserting: "An early withdrawal would embolden the terrorists. An early withdrawal would embolden Al Qaeda and bin Laden. There will be no early withdrawal so long as we run the Congress and occupy the White House."

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - Two U.S. soldiers missing in Iraq for three days have been found dead, their bodies showing signs of "barbaric" torture, an Iraqi general said on Tuesday, after an intensive hunt involving thousands of troops.

"Coalition forces have recovered what we believe are the remains of the soldiers," U.S. military spokesman Major General William Caldwell said, declining to comment on how they died.

...and we're afraid removal of our troops will embolden the enemy? The enemy that didn't exist in Iraq, prior to March of 2003? Who's still swallowing this 'ferus / againus' line and how is retaining our presence in Iraq translated over to real troops support?

Posted by kerry at 10:30 AM | Comments (0)

Orchestrated Cacaphony

Visions for the Future, from the Party who brought you "Contract with America"...

- The party of smaller government wants the ability to dictate who it's citizens may wed.

- The anti-abortion crowd doesn't lobby to provide mandatory healthcare for all children.

- The right to die is reserved only, for foreigners who fail to remove themselves from the line of fire.

- After declaring Mission Accomplished, pulling out troops is cutting and running.

- Protecting the flag is important to those who also believe "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image...".

Truly, the party of the people.

Posted by kerry at 02:13 AM | Comments (1)

June 19, 2006

Snippet, snippet it good

Keeping Up

* We keep pissing away international goodwill... these folks might not seem like such wackjobs.

* Another one bites the dust.

* Rest comfortably in the knowledge that as long as Rove is driving the GOP bus, they can never claim the high road.

* Bush isn't sinking... he's dog-paddling.

* Louisiana, self-contradicting since the days of pirates.

* Fox Punditry, mock what you don't understand.

* Mmmmmm, no-bid contracts. Cheney flavored.


Rove postulated that Bush, like McKinley, had arrived at a moment when the old politics no longer applied and the new had yet to be formed. By offering himself as a pro-immigrant, pro-growth, "compassionate" conservative, he would attract the new voters of the day, including Hispanic immigrants, as well as workers in the postindustrial economy, while at the same time mobilizing the party's conservative Christian base. He would be the candidate of growth and the future while casting his rival, Al Gore, as the embodiment of an exhausted big-government credo. And this strategy worked: in 2000, Bush made gains among Hispanics and carried 97 of the country's 100 fastest-growing counties. Of course, Gore won the popular vote and, by some accounts, the election. And yet since that time, the Democrats have come to look like the party of the underprivileged and the highly educated and scarcely anyone else.

Does this make Bush a "flip-flopper" or just a flop?

Posted by kerry at 08:32 AM | Comments (1)

Axis of Evil reduced to plot points on the graph of miscalculated assessments

It's not whether you keep your eye on the ball... it's whether you know which ball's in play.

North Korea appears to be on the verge of test-firing a missile capable of reaching the United States, a prospect that has alarmed Washington and put the region on alert. Pyongyang was silent on the launch, but vowed to bolster its military deterrent.

As long as the administration doesn't view this as justification to attack Cambodia, we should be ok.

Posted by kerry at 03:33 AM | Comments (0)

June 16, 2006

Privacy Concerns

Aware of all the potential leaks, Bush protects the purity of his undelivered speeches.

Posted by kerry at 10:50 AM | Comments (1)

The road to quality kitsch is paved with lace panties.

Marriage Lesson #1231287

Dragging your wife to a Rob Zombie concert means you are not allowed to say no when she presents you with two tickets to see Tom Jones.

*bonus: it's the only opportunity you'll ever have to see women older than your mom toss their underwear overhand onto a stage.

Posted by kerry at 04:19 AM | Comments (1)

June 15, 2006

It's not anger, it's righteous indignation.

GOP 1:1-3

1. And the Lord spoke unto them thusly, "For she art the divine spirit of wisdom and goodness, the arbitrator of what is godly, moral and just. She shall move amongst them as human, yet guided by a higher power. Her voice shall appear caustic and vitrolic but as the vessel of Lord, she shall carry my message with love and without fear."

2. "There will be those who rise up against her and they shall be struck down with shock and with infinite awe. The Godless with whom she walks among will fail to understand her and will mock in their ignorance. They are not to be taunted, their final punishment is in my hands."

3. "When thou doest peruse the words inspired through pure divinity, reverence must be shown. Only she, chosen by my hand, speaketh on my behalf and as has been written, there is no place in my house for pansies, rapists, the media or worse... bleeding heart liberals. As my voice on earth, it is she who deems the just worthy of passage, be it through vast generalizations, cherry picking, or arbitrary appropriations, I have endowed her with some of my wisdom and all of my wrath. Heed her voice, she speaketh for me. It has been written, so shall it be."

Posted by kerry at 02:24 AM | Comments (0)

Subtle Nuance

Pay close attention to the rhetoric.

THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. Thank you. I've just returned from Baghdad, and I was inspired to be able to visit the capital of a free and democratic Iraq.


And I met with our troops. I had a chance to congratulate those that were responsible for bringing Zarqawi to justice. You know, when you're in a theater like that, it's important to hear words of congratulations sometimes, to hear that their efforts are appreciated and doing hard work. And I got to do that.

Interesting choice of words doncha think?

justice n
1: the quality of being just or fair
2: the administration of law; the act of determining rights and assigning rewards or punishments; "justice deferred is justice denied"

Yes Zarqawi was a bad man and yes, he probably should be as dead as he is... however, he was *NOT* brought to justice, vengence was brought to him. When this administration starts using phrases like "bringem to justice" regarding Americans, worry.

Posted by kerry at 02:09 AM | Comments (2)

June 13, 2006

Oh the crazy things they'll say

In 2004...

Russert: Were you favor of the war in Vietnam?
President Bush: I supported my government. I did. And would have gone had my unit been called up, by the way.
Russert: But you didn't volunteer or enlist to go.
President Bush: No, I didn't. You're right. I served. I flew fighters and enjoyed it, and provided a service to our country. In those days we had what was called "air defense command," and it was a part of the air defense command system.
The thing about the Vietnam War that troubles me as I look back was it was a political war. We had politicians making military decisions, and it is lessons that any president must learn, and that is to the set the goal and the objective and allow the military to come up with the plans to achieve that objective. And those are essential lessons to be learned from the Vietnam War.

Nothing fucks up a good war like politicians, eh?

Three years of efforts to accomplish those goals have largely failed. Billions of dollars have been spent on both electricity and security, yet residents of Baghdad get only five to eight hours of power a day, and the American ambassador acknowledged on Friday that the city is "more insecure now than it was a few months ago."

One of the senior officials involved in the strategy session characterized it as a "last, best chance to get this right," an implicit acknowledgment that previous American-led efforts had gone astray.


Mr. Bush on Friday made clear that the American commitment to the country will be long-term. Officials say the administration has begun to look at the costs of maintaining a force of roughly 50,000 troops there for years to come, roughly the size of the American presence maintained in the Philippines and Korea for decades after those conflicts.

But no decisions have been made, and Mr. Bush has carefully sidestepped any discussion of a long-term presence, insisting that American forces will be in the country only as long as the Iraqi government wants them there. Mr. Bush's aides said the meeting was not intended to focus on troop levels. But in many ways, that subject is the subtext of the entire discussion.

Things are bound to get better, because....

BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) -- President Bush assured Iraqis in a surprise visit to Baghdad on Tuesday that the United States stands with them and their new government. "It's in our interest that Iraq succeed," he said, seated alongside newly named Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki.

But he also emphasized, both in his meeting with al-Maliki and in an address to U.S. troops, that the wartorn country's future is in the hands of the new Iraqi unity government.

"And our job is to help them succeed and we will," Bush told American forces as he wrapped up his unannounced visit .

The dramatic trip came as Bush sought to bolster support for Iraq's fledgling government and U.S. war policy at home.

The Politician in Chief is on the job.

Posted by kerry at 09:59 AM | Comments (0)

June 12, 2006

Slow Return

When waking up early rewards you with views like this,




and this...


and time invested makes someone this happy....


It's really hard to care about Al-Zarqawi's demise, the international impact of Gitmo suicides and Bush's polling.

Gimme time though.

Posted by kerry at 03:01 AM | Comments (2)

June 01, 2006


Time to go spend a week on the backside of a mountain in Colorado, scrubbing shit like this out of my mind.

Stay safe, back in 10.

My New View


* due to massive spamming recently, comments are disable until posting resumes.

Posted by kerry at 01:41 PM | Comments (0)