July 31, 2006

yeah, no kidding



"Dad, there's too much shooting on TV".

- Toby, age 4.4


Posted by kerry at 08:25 PM | Comments (0)

Commercial Risk

"No, you silly goof... this impacts none of this month's shipments." "Crunch all you want, we'll make more."



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Posted by kerry at 11:25 AM | Comments (0)

Reality TV on 'roids

The Pitch:

A well known action hero-type actor is plied with massive quantities of liquor, dropped in the Gaza strip with a Hummer a stopwatch and told he has an hour and a half to get to Amman Jordan. Throughout all possible routes, police officers and random citizens have been given the transcript of both his last movie and any and all possible unsolicited opinions recently given to persons of authority and the media.

Hilarities ensue.

Posted by kerry at 03:36 AM | Comments (1)

and then what

What if the dog actually caught the car?

Iran, Syria, Hamas, Hezbollah, and to some degree, Saudi Arabia & Egypt would all like to see the collapse of the state of Israel and the erradication of US presence/influence in the region. This reasoning always seems to be at the forefront everytime there's conflict in or discussion on, the Middle East. What if they got their way?

What if the US pulled out completely and the state of Israel collapsed?

Would there suddenly be an ideological harmony between the Sunnis and the Shias? Would love and peace flow throughout the region? Would every man, woman and child lay down their arms and cease to fight?

Or.... is the Israel argument merely a red herring and actually necessary to the success of and fund raising for terrorist groups?

Possibly parasitic in nature isn't it ... if the host dies, so does the parasite.

Posted by kerry at 03:02 AM | Comments (0)

Anti-Social Sleepies

* Bush wouldn't get nuance even if it was etched on a baseball bat used to smack the stupid out of him.

* Finding myself oddly nodding in agreement with Pat again.

* Ah, the Crusade he really wanted.

* Reserve tickets now for 2006's lopsided battle of wits.

* Remember back in the day when, the Lowest Common Denominator didn't apply to heads of state and watching them didn't make you weep or feel a child had been left behind?

Posted by kerry at 02:20 AM | Comments (0)

July 28, 2006

QOTD - Selective bReading

All men are created equal... it takes a winger to separate them out into the cans and the cannots.



I don't know about you, but when that Mega Millions or Powerball jackpot gets really high, I like to go down to the local convenience store and ask the good folks waiting for hours to buy a fistful of tickets, "Hey, do you think Condi Rice should cut a deal with Bashar Assad?" Or, "Excuse me, sir, I know you're busy filling out those little ovals for the same 78 numbers you play every week, but I was wondering whether you think reimportation of Canadian drugs is a good idea?" I mean, where better to find the distilled genius of the vox populi than a line of people at the 7-Eleven who have a lot of time to spare during working hours?

Not to pick nits on why Jonah's at 7-11 during business hours but since when did he become the designated arbitrator of who should and shouldn't vote and whose understanding of international policy beats whose? Using this measure of intelligence, Bush shouldn't have voted for himself.

Posted by kerry at 10:15 AM | Comments (0)

Instigated Prophecy

Last week, as Israel's armed forces pounded Lebanon and worries of a wider conflagration mounted, Mr. Hagee presided over what he called a "miracle of God": a gathering of 3,500 evangelical Christians packed into a Washington hotel to cheer Israel and its current military campaign. Standing on a stage bedecked with a huge Israeli flag, Mr. Hagee drew rapturous applause and shouts of "amen" as he hailed Israel for doing God's work in a "war of good versus evil." Calls for Israel to show restraint violate "God's foreign-policy statement" toward Jews, he said, citing a verse from the Old Testament that promises to "bless those who bless you" and curse "the one who curses you."

(...)

President Bush sent a message to the gathering praising Mr. Hagee and his supporters for "spreading the hope of God's love and the universal gift of freedom." The Israeli prime minister also sent words of thanks. Israel's ambassador, its former military chief and a host of U.S. political heavyweights, mostly Republican, attended.

(...)

Mr. Bush's 2000 election victory and the Republican Party's control of both houses of Congress brought evangelical Christians closer to power than ever before. Mr. Hagee had met Mr. Bush several times while he was Texas governor and solidly supported his push for the White House. Mr. Hagee was closer, though, to another powerful Texan, Congressman Tom DeLay. Soon after becoming majority leader in the House of Representatives, Mr. DeLay gave the keynote speech at Mr. Hagee's 2002 pro-Israel gathering in San Antonio. Mr. DeLay, since embroiled in a corruption scandal, also spoke last week in Washington.

Is manufacturing prophectic results the true realization of prophecy? Do we have seven horsemen in-route?

Posted by kerry at 05:13 AM | Comments (0)

July 27, 2006

800 lb Gorrilla on Your Lap

From Tweety's July 26th show.

ED ROGERS, REPUBLICAN STRATEGIST: I think it was really petty, I think it was in poor form. I think it was against American interests for them to drag Maliki into this. He doesn‘t have a dog in the Israel-Hezbollah fight. And to drag him into it ...

MATTHEWS: How do you know that?

ROGERS: Well, how do we know ...

MATTHEWS: He‘s a Shia. The Shia run Hezbollah.

ROGERS: Shia is not a common political denominator, so I disagree with the premise of your earlier question, but Maliki risks his life every day to bring democracy to Iraq, to be our ally, to be our man there, and for us to insult him and be gratuitous by clamoring against him, basically coming to the Congress and saying thank you, America, I think was in poor form and I think it hurt America‘s interest in Iraq.

MATTHEWS: Is the prime minister, that we installed as head of Iraq, through the process we undertook, is he pro or anti-Israeli, as far as you know?

ROGERS: As far as I know, it is irrelevant for his task at hand. His day job is to bring peace and security and democracy to Iraq. We shouldn‘t make him part of the side show that is taking place right now in Lebanon, in Southern Lebanon. It‘s unfair to him.

MATTHEWS: Well, politically, we all know at this table, what happens to Israel is not a side show. It‘s very strong in American politics. Michael get on here.

Maliki is *OUR* man? We still looking for the Iraqi government to have any credibility? Don't we need them to be independent? How are they ever going to be able to stand up if we're still sitting on their laps?

Posted by kerry at 06:26 AM | Comments (1)

QOTD - Faith Based Quilting

Rick Perry, in a staggeringly large lead for re-election is now pandering to the base by offering our tax dollars to faith-based initiatives. Ranks right up there with hiring a Spanish company to build us a new, yet useless toll road.

As usual, he's hyper-dismissive and sees nothing wrong with instituting a melding of church and state.



"Critics would criticize me if I were speaking to the Busy Bee Quilting Club," he said.

No, critics would find that cute and amusing... not a threat to balance and democracy.

Posted by kerry at 04:47 AM | Comments (0)

Sympathetic Syllogism

* The hearts and minds have been won, the mission was accomplished... it's time to build Baghdad Disneyland and call it good, right?

* Presumptively indiscriminate. Think about it.

* If per Ann Coulter, Bill Clinton has homosexual tendancies due to the nature of her perception of his sexual trysts. What then may we infer from juxtaposing her words with that adams apple of hers? Free game, methinks.

Posted by kerry at 02:16 AM | Comments (0)

July 26, 2006

QOTD - If You're Contented and You Know It, Clap Your Hands

Does George W. Bush have dreams of presiding over a grand Middle East peace deal at Camp David or some other photogenic spot, like the Red Sea summit of his first term? Aides say he is content for now to take steps toward transforming the region in less obvious but, they believe, more fundamental and lasting ways. So Bush today is in the precarious position of putting his hopes in a region that has yielded only heartbreak.

Content? Less obvious than what, shock & awe?

Fundamental and Lasting:

1. Like ignoring Arafat while stating the need for a Palestinian state?
2. Like championing Democracy until the elected solution fell outside the accepted criteria?
3. Like waiting 14 days after Lebanon and Israel erupt into violent chaos to send an envoy?

If ignorance is truly bliss than George W Bush is the happiest man alive and if all his legacy's hopes are in the Middle East it fully explains the performance of his domestic policy.

Posted by kerry at 09:44 AM | Comments (0)

Story Problem: Politically Incorrect War Planning

You're the President of the United States and have, over your two terms, over-exhausted your military and created an environment in which voluntary recruits are at their lowest point in history. You have a 20 year goal to increase the size of the military significantly and cannot institute a draft but, have been delivered a gift of 399,872 "snowflake" embryos. You know you have approximately 11 million illegal immigrants desirous of citizenship, assume 25% are women and 50% of them are capable of bearing children. If you offer citizenship to every illegal willing to carry a future soldier to term and deliver the infant to a local recruiting station...

1. What is the ratio of available snowmakers to potential snowflakes?
2. What is the number of years before success can be determined?
3. If Peak Oil's arc plummets critically in 2020, will we have the troops needed to protect our interests?

answers below the fold

1a. 3.4386 to 1.
2a. 16.75 9 month gestation with a lowered enlistment age.
3a. no, 2020 - 2006 = 14.

Posted by kerry at 02:28 AM | Comments (0)

July 25, 2006

Toxic Waste: Now, 50% Off

* One can be complicit through inaction.

* Vino @ 5am? Karen Hughes must be carrying Bush's burden for him.

* Ok, they're right. Freedom ain't free.

* One gets the image of the PeeWee Herman hopping up after flipping his bike and remarking "I meant to do that".

* Pitiful state of affairs.

* Number of lobotomies must be on the rise, there can be no other explanation.

* Crusade-style logic from the memory hole, in case anyone was still wondering why we seem to be apathetic about the latest rise in apocalyptic style Middle East violence.

Posted by kerry at 08:47 AM | Comments (0)

Unparalleled Moral Clarity

Wouldn't it be nice to be so absolutely positively sure you were right that your moral clarity exhuded an xray effect on all that is wrong in the world? Whenever you established a premise it was not only above reproach but caused a shockwave of truthiness across the globe that instantaeously changed the minds of the reprehensible leftist pagans bent on the ultimate destruction of humankind?

or not.

I believe the Left has been wrong on virtually every great moral issue in the last 30 years.

(...)

Israel's fight for existence against the primitives, fanatics and sadists in Hezbollah and Hamas and elsewhere in the Arab/Muslim world who wish to destroy it. Anyone on the Left who cannot see this is either bad, a useful idiot for Islamic terrorists, anti-Semitic or all three. There is no other explanation for morally condemning Israel's war on Hezbollah.

Unless the condemnation has nothing to do with the erradication of Hezbollah (which is a just cause) but more to do with the indiscriminate bombing that's taking innocent life with little to no regard for international law.

Posted by kerry at 08:15 AM | Comments (2)

July 24, 2006

QOTD - Flat Earth... Drive Carefully

What is it about science that scares these nutjobs?

Congressman Inhofe ignores facts and draws his own conclusions. A fine trait for a troglodyte... but this guy's supposed to be thinking about the nation's future and isn't even willing to peek at tomorrow.

In an interview, he heaped criticism on what he saw as the strategy used by those on the other side of the debate and offered a historical comparison.

It kind of reminds . . . I could use the Third Reich, the big lie," Inhofe said.
"You say something over and over and over and over again, and people will believe it, and that's their strategy."

As for anyone trying to use the current heat wave to bolster the case, he said even those on the other side of the debate concede that no one should link a single weather event to climate change.

"A hot summer has nothing to do with global warming," Inhofe said. "Let's keep in mind it was just three weeks ago that people were saying, 'Wait a minute; it is unusually cool."'

He blames the media for handing over an unfair amount of air time and coverage to the side that pushes the claim that links man to climate change.

"I have asked several of them," Inhofe said: 'Name one time when an hour has been given to the other side of the issue.' "


No Jim, it's melting polar ice caps, warming of the Atlantic, affects on the currents, gradual yet irreversable impacts to the ecology (clear-cutting/burning/mining/daming)... the fact that despite an unwillingness to believe in the Butterfly Effect, everything on this little blue marble is, in fact, inter-connnected. Could someone with Congressional access give this guy a pre & post series of photos for both Patagonia and Greenland?

*sigh*... can Mother Nature smack down the unbelievers first?

Posted by kerry at 11:59 AM | Comments (0)

Republic of Snarkistan

* Suggested solution for the other 99.7% unwanted potential snowflakes science can't have.

* Better question: Who was impacted by Jefferson's $100k in the freezer vs. Abramoff's scams and attempts to defraud? The voters are going to be looking at who the corruption impacted.

* If a Democrat resided in the White House, had failed violently on every front domestically and internationally and then was caught red-handed violating the basic tenets of the Constitution, how quickly would Senate Democrats rush to change the law to clear him a path?

* Hearts and Minds just mean different things to different people. It's got to be just as simple as a language barrier, right?

* Whose balls do we have our eyes on? Remember, in 2004 Kerry said halting nuclear proliferation was job #1... his opponent couldn't even pronounce it.

* Why did the restoration of honor and dignity have to come at such a cost to the citizens?

* If local and state Democrats can win using this logic, the nation's beyond saving.

Posted by kerry at 04:45 AM | Comments (0)

Man o' the People

Alright! Which handler didn't properly vet the audience for the requisite level of happiness and appreciation due the Commander in Chief?



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Posted by kerry at 03:45 AM | Comments (0)

July 21, 2006

Gettin' Back to Condi's Roots

"This is how much respect I had for your organization, until I realized this is a strategic election year... so here I is".

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Posted by kerry at 06:34 AM | Comments (0)

100 to 1 ratio

Fascinating isn't it, how Bush and team are busy saving fertilized embryos stateside while simultaneously refusing to call for a ceasefire to the lopsided missle volleys between Israel and Hezbollah guerrillas in the south of Lebanon, creating war crime level fatalities?

A bit reminiscent of 2003's little Shock & Awe show, ain't it?

niceshot.jpg

Surreal aspects of this violent flare-up

* I agree with Pat Buchanan.

* The clarity of right vs. wrong has become blurry and the odds are against the innocent.

* Leadership is not demonstrated through torpidity and apathy.

* US involvement is inevitable, the question is now, to what degree.

Criminal.

Posted by kerry at 04:59 AM | Comments (3)

July 20, 2006

Didn't see *that* coming

* Bush makes nice with the NAACP, they let him. The willingness of the black community to forgive always astounds and impresses me.

* Right wing humor... geez folks, donchagetit?

* Abramoff, the syphallis of politics. Latest victim, poor Walphie Weed.

* Guess Iraq didn't get Tommy Franks edict that civilian casualties would not be counted. Expect revised numbers for previous years.

* Tammy Faye Bakker II is still flailing in Florida and all the prayer in the world, ain't gonna help.

* Family values, GOP style.

* TFM support slipping.

Posted by kerry at 10:36 AM | Comments (2)

Forming Patterns

Conservativism: n : a political or theological orientation advocating the preservation of the best in society and opposing radical changes.

Conserve: keep in safety and protect from harm, decay, loss, or destruction.

Time for a new adjective for the Republican Majority.

If the behavior of our government employees looks like this when funding for disaster recovery avails itself... imagine what they could do with a series of unbudgeted war appropriations.

WASHINGTON, July 18 — Flat-bottomed rescue boats at double the retail price, $68,500 worth of unused dog booties, hundreds of thousands of dollars’ worth of computers that somehow disappeared and a $227 beer brewing kit.

(...)

The audit, by the Government Accountability Office, which is due to be released Wednesday, concluded that the credit card misuse could probably have been avoided had the department completed a long-planned rulebook for its more than 9,000 employees who spent $420 million last year using government-issued credit cards.

Instead, “due to a lack of leadership” at the department, the draft manual has never been finished, creating accounting weaknesses that “leave D.H.S. highly vulnerable to fraudulent, improper and abusive activity,” the audit says.

Ah yes, the war funding...

WASHINGTON (AFP) - The US government has lost track of the cost of the "war on terror" unleashed after the September 11 attacks and which is now taking up tens of billions of dollars a year in Iraq and Afghanistan, a Congress watchdog warned.

The Government Accountability Office (GAO) said that neither the Defence Department nor Congress had any accurate idea how much the war has cost since the attacks on New York and Washington in 2001.

It said Congress has appropriated about 430 billion dollars for "war on terror" spending, which includes military operations and reconstruction costs in Iraq, but raised concerns about the way the money was being accounted for.

Conservatives are not in charge. This nation's being run by a buch of incompetent blood-thirsty frat boys on a bender.

Posted by kerry at 03:10 AM | Comments (0)

July 19, 2006

Bipartisan Lexicon

Doing Ann's homework for her.

There are only two choices with savages: Fight or run. Democrats always want to run, but they dress it up in meaningless catchphrases like "diplomacy," "detente," "engagement," "multilateral engagement," "multilateral diplomacy," "containment" and "going to the U.N."


Guilty as charged.

"We want to solve this problem diplomatically, and the best way to solve the problem diplomatically is for all of us to be working in concert and to send one message, and that is to Kim Jong Il that ... 'We expect you to adhere to international norms, and we expect you to keep your word,'" Bush said at a joint news conference with Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper.



PRESIDENT PUTIN: I concur with the assessment given by my colleague, Mr. Bush. And naturally, our position is well-known, we are guided by the facts that it's more worthwhile perhaps to eliminate a certain part of nuclear potentials. At the same time, I'd like to point out another thing here. Any man who has at least once in his career dealt with arms, had arms in his hands, at least to hunt or a rifle or whatever, he knows that it's much better, much safer to have it in stock disarmed, disassembled perhaps, rather than to have it in your arms and charged with bullets in it and with your finger on the trigger at the same time. This is a different state of affairs, as it were.

And the fact that we agreed with President Bush regarding such detente, in such manner, this is a serious move ahead to ensure international security, which is a very good sign as regards the relationship between our two countries.



President Bush urged the United States to engage the international community as a means of building prosperity, security, freedom and hope around the world in his State of the Union address to the U.S. Congress and the American people.

Speaking at the U.S. Capitol January 31, Bush said that in the “decisive year” of 2006, the United States must choose to exercise leadership in the world in order to secure peace and protect its citizens.

“In a complex and challenging time, the road of isolationism and protectionism may seem broad and inviting – yet it ends in danger and decline. The only way to protect our people … the only way to secure the peace … the only way to control our destiny is by our leadership – so the United States of America will continue to lead,” Bush said.



President Bush: The friendship between our two nations is based on common values. These values include democracy, free enterprise, and a deep and abiding respect for human rights. These values have created a better life for both our peoples, a firm alliance between our two nations, and a common approach to our engagement with the world.



South Korea officials and others, including Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa., urged the United States to conduct one-on-one negotiations with North Korea. The administration dismissed the idea in favor of continuing multilateral diplomacy.

"It is my hope that the United States will negotiate directly with the North Koreans ... and try to resolve our differences in a dignified way and I think that will happen," Specter said. "I don't think anybody wants to set off a nuclear war."

Bush said the best way to solve the problem diplomatically is for there to be more than one nation speaking to North Korea and more than just America voicing concern. "It's more effective for them to hear from a group of nations rather than one nation," Bush said.

Added Snow: "If it was the desire of Kim Jong Il to turn this into a two-party negotiation or standoff between the United States and North Korea, he blew it," Snow said. "Instead, what has happened is that the United States continues to work with its allies in the region."



In resolving the North Korean nuclear crisis, two major choices are on the table - containment or engagement. Upon entering office, the Bush Administration promptly squelched the Clinton engagement policy, and is sticking to its guns in support of containment, as resistance mounts from China, South Korea and Japan. It's instructive to see how the Bush containment policy has worked so far.



President Bush said today that the time has passed for Iran to respond to a package of incentives to stop uranium enrichment, but that there could still be opportunities for negotiations even though the case is now being referred to the United Nations Security Council.

“Their deadline passed,” said Mr. Bush during a news conference in Germany, where he met Chancellor Angela Merkel. “That’s why we’re going to the U.N. Security Council.”




Like shooting fish in a barrel... we Democrats sure love to dress shit up in meaningless catch-phrases.

Posted by kerry at 10:48 PM | Comments (0)

All in the Family, Stossel-style

Well, there goes the sanctity of marriage.

Instead of tackling the critical blow to science as Bush vetos funding stem cell research, debating the ripple effect of the violence, chaos and controversy in the Middle East or decrying the loss of innocent lives in Iraq, John Stossel's got bigger fish to fry. The defense of cousin lovin'.

I'd always thought marrying a blood relative as close as a cousin was immoral, and certainly risky if you plan to have kids. Conventional wisdom says only primitive people who live in isolated places marry cousins. It leads to stupid children. But that's a myth.

Something tells me John's got a family reunion comin' up and someone's got some splainin' to do...

Posted by kerry at 09:36 PM | Comments (1)

Saving Yourself for a Special Occasion

How to make George W. Bush use his veto power?

Write a bill that involves life-saving science for post-natal fetuses like those of us in our ~156th trimester.

Happy, "Save a Blastocyst for Jesus" Day.

"It crosses a moral boundary," Bush said.

But when massaging Germany's highest elected official, smoking the shit out of Iraqi citizens and eroding civil rights ... the boundaries of morality lose their clarity.

Posted by kerry at 09:04 AM | Comments (1)

No Such Thing

It's not global warming... it's global normalizing.

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Posted by kerry at 08:57 AM | Comments (0)

July 18, 2006

Ew

ew.

ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew.

After hours and hours of management training (see: sexual harassment) the mere thought of even thinking about doing this to a co-worker gives me the heebee jeebees... let alone a head of state.


ew.

Posted by kerry at 06:15 PM | Comments (1)

July 17, 2006

QOTD - Critical Thoughters Must Die

Feel the love boys and girls. The 'terroristas' will no longer have to hate us for our freedoms... the freedom to assemble's been under attack for some time, freedom to seek redress is at risk and now we have pseudo pundits championing the idea that freedom to disagree with bad policy is a threat to the homeland. How very 1939 Germany, eh?

In the end it comes down to this: I believe there will be more blood in American streets if the government eases up on aggressively pursuing the terror killers. But the anti-Bush media doesn't believe that, and some are putting forth that the president's policies are the primary threat to this country, not the killers themselves.

I think that's downright dangerous. I'll also tell you a secret: Fighting a two-front war on terror, with the second front being the media controversy here at home, has weakened the USA substantially.

Hey, Bill, name one policy that's benefitted this nation internationally. Name one that's given us the credibility we need to be the world's moral guide. Point to one action or even inaction that's carried us closer to the stated goal of world peace and international democracy.

Just one.

Posted by kerry at 06:28 AM | Comments (0)

QOTD - Critical Thoughters Must Die

Feel the love boys and girls. The 'terroristas' will no longer have to hate us for our freedoms... the freedom to assemble's been under attack for some time, freedom to seek redress is at risk and now we have pseudo pundits championing the idea that freedom to disagree with bad policy is a threat to the homeland. How very 1939 Germany, eh?

In the end it comes down to this: I believe there will be more blood in American streets if the government eases up on aggressively pursuing the terror killers. But the anti-Bush media doesn't believe that, and some are putting forth that the president's policies are the primary threat to this country, not the killers themselves.

I think that's downright dangerous. I'll also tell you a secret: Fighting a two-front war on terror, with the second front being the media controversy here at home, has weakened the USA substantially.

Hey, Bill, name one policy that's benefitted this nation internationally. Name one that's given us the credibility we need to be the world's moral guide. Point to one action or even inaction that's carried us closer to the stated goal of world peace and international democracy.

Just one.

Posted by kerry at 06:28 AM | Comments (0)

Flim Flam Phlegm

* But it's all ok, right? We got Saddam. Who cares what the long-term regional impact is. Who expected a raging success out of an illegitimate war drummed up by an ill-informed and myopic chickenhawk?

* Comforting to see the Dry-Drunk in Chief taking the lead on addressing the violent conflicts now raging in the Middle East, isn't it? As long as we continue to fund Israel, ignore the Palestinians and disregard democratically elected groups we disagree with, we're destined to become involved.

* National Security and Intelligence are the utmost priority unless one counters the primary directive and, if the other happens to married to the first.

* By-product of pre-emptive attacks... other countries are planning ahead.

* Bush, spreading goodwill like frozen butter on fresh bread.

Posted by kerry at 02:32 AM | Comments (0)

July 15, 2006

QOTD - Empathy Episode

Birds of a feather...

Bush met a number of Russian rights campaigners on Friday and said he would relay their concerns about curbs on civil liberties to Putin.

"Look, he's willing to listen, but he also explains to me that he doesn't want anyone telling him how to run his government," Bush said on Saturday.

he's right at home.

Posted by kerry at 07:08 AM | Comments (2)

Hail to the Chief

In honor of the president's predieiction towards the other white meat, I give you the Reverend Horton Heat's rendition of the Loco Gringo's "Nurture My Pig".

Hey baby I got a pig
I got a pig and it's pink and big
Hey baby I got a pig
Yeah come on baby you and my pig

Nurture my pig
Now you talk that slop now baby
And my pig he loves that slop
Slop baby I got your slop

Come on baby you and my pig
Nurture my pig

Hey baby I got a pig
I got a pig and it's pink and big
Hey baby I got a pig

Yeah come on baby you and my pig

Nurture my pig, nurture my pig
Where's the worm
Where's the worm

I think it's safe to say the worm is...

Posted by kerry at 03:37 AM | Comments (0)

July 14, 2006

QOTD - Big Ot

In Baghdad, Shias pretend to be Sunnis and Sunnis pretend to be Shia to avoid being slaughtered. Israel's losing soldiers to Hezbollah and Hamas while strafing civilian targets. Kashmiri rebels are blowing the shit out of commuters and Darfur's too horrific to describe in a single sentence.

Back here at home we don't have wide-spread escalated violence due to religious, cultural or regional differences. Instead, those itchin for a fight with no natural enemy, have to invent reasons to hate people and deny them rights.

So, who yer fuckin' it is then.

Inside the Times, the slant continued, with two large photographs of gay activists protesting and consoling one another, arm in arm, about the court decision. Why not a photo of a traditional marriage supporter celebrating the ruling? Because it seems to be in every national-media rulebook that the "gay marriage" story must be accompanied by gay activists protesting, kissing, cheering or "marrying." Only one side matters.

because the Times has never printed a picture of heterosexual couples... seen the marriage announcement pages, chock-fulla-het.

(...)

Yes, you read that correctly. The Gay Games.

Who would sponsor this stupidity? The New York Times is not alone; it is joined by other "objective" news outlets. The Chicago Sun-Times and WMAQ-TV, the local NBC-owned and operated affiliate, are also "global sponsors." They share the Gay Games' goals, to "foster and augment the self-respect of lesbians and gay men throughout the world and to engender respect and understanding from the nongay world."

Got that, nongays? Whatever happened to "objective" media outlets at least pretending to avoid taking sides? This is the essence of political correctness: It is better to violate openly your commitment to journalistic standards than assist the "bigots" by attempting to appear fair and neutral.

well Brent, if the opposition made one whit of sense and or played fair on the issue of equality, defending the underdogs wouldn't seem so bloody lop-sided... imagine the columns Brent might have written about Selma Alabama using this same logic.

(...)

That's just crazy. But by placing its famous name squarely on the side of the gay left, The New York Times is sending a message to America's solid majority against putting thousands of years of tradition through the shredder. It says: You're all intolerant bigots on the wrong side of history, and you will be defeated, even if we have to make utter asses of ourselves in the process.

methinks the only ass in this equation is the author of this article.

Posted by kerry at 07:35 AM | Comments (1)

The Court of Public Opinion

Surprising when you stop to consider who it is, actually, the president and first lady work for...

(from the Larry King interview)

L. BUSH: It's tough. I mean, the polls, that's, you know that's...

KING: Though it's public opinion.

L. BUSH: You know, that doesn't -- don't really mean anything. The polls aren't important. But when you meet families who've lost someone there, you know, it's sad. It's heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking for them, it's heartbreaking for us. It's heartbreaking for everybody in the United States.

(...)

G. BUSH: Let me tell you something about polls. If you had a president who worries about polls, that means you could have a president who makes decisions based upon the polls. We cannot achieve big goals and accomplish hard things if you're worried about opinion polls. The president that chases the opinion poll is the president that will have failed policy, in my judgment.

I like to tell people I would rather be -- when history looks back, I'd rather be judged as solving problems and being correct, rather than being popular.

Let's take a look at the problem solver at work, shall we?

Q On both of these. Does it concern you that the Beirut airport has been bombed? And do you see a risk of triggering a wider war? And on Iran, they've, so far, refused to respond. Is it now past the deadline, or do they still have more time to respond?

PRESIDENT BUSH: I thought you were going to ask me about the pig.

Posted by kerry at 03:40 AM | Comments (2)

July 13, 2006

Smack the Messenger

If this mike makes me sound like an idiot one more time, I'm gonna smack it, I tell ya. Smack it.





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Posted by kerry at 10:15 AM | Comments (0)

Left Foot of Fellowship

* Who cares if Bush is in Crawford or DC this August? He's equally incompetent in both time zones. He ignores PDBs in Texas and is firmly encapsulated in a bubble while in the White House.

* The first "historian" that touts Bob Novak as a hero should be treated to a 24 hour blanket party.

* Bush's responses to international incidents is to international policy as gangrene is to personal wellness. No matter how much you ignore it, it's still going to wind up affecting you.

* Agreed, until a 3rd party can offer up both candidates of substance and truly put a foot in the ass of the incumbency, what's really needed is an overhaul of the centrist Dems who've failed to realize how far to the right the center has become.

* The list of high crimes and misdemeanors is a lot more comprehensive but failure to recognize Congress' authority to wage war and well as lying to Congress should be very high on the list.

Posted by kerry at 04:37 AM | Comments (0)

July 12, 2006

QOTD - I can see your black soul from here

Cheney, in a May speech in the ex-Soviet republic of Lithuania, accused Russia of cracking down on religious and political rights and of using its energy reserves as "tools of intimidation or blackmail."

Asked about Cheney's remarks, Putin said, "I think the statements of your vice president of this sort are the same as an unsuccessful hunting shot."

mmmmmmm, going to be a fun fun G8.

Posted by kerry at 10:39 AM | Comments (0)

Antithical Annihilation

* If at first you don't succeed... blame blame again.

* Kinda makes "Where the Eagles Soar" rather passe.

* Being the lone voice of reason truly is, puntitive.

* Odd, the people cheering for Lieberman.

* So, it's ok to market your organs, but bad to develop blastocysts for similar uses? The mind boggles.

Posted by kerry at 06:01 AM | Comments (0)

International Diplomacy

Bush, dispensing with normal diplomatic approaches, demands Putin greet him in the tradition usually reserved for locals.

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Posted by kerry at 05:10 AM | Comments (0)

July 11, 2006

Birdman of the Bastille

Sally Fields, eat your heart out.



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Posted by kerry at 10:01 AM | Comments (3)

Coining a Phrase


When members of the administration, intelligence community and both houses of congress continue time after time, to ignore and manipulate facts while negatively impacting our infrastructure, economy, privacy, civil rights and overall well being, shouldn't we begin referring to them as "ERRORISTS"?

Posted by kerry at 08:31 AM | Comments (1)

Mai Tais at Ground Zero

* The moneychangers have bought the temple. They cannot be thrown out.

* If you can't beat em, be em.

* Truth and information are wriggly little beasts just yearning for freedom. Time is usually on their side.

* Why does critical thought and high-level expert analysis exist only, outside the administration?

* Karl Rove's got nothing on Osama's effectiveness.

* Theatre of the absurd, Lieberman announces his attempt to jump a shark with his motorcycle.

Posted by kerry at 06:16 AM | Comments (0)

July 10, 2006

Whodathunkit

* So if a soldier who's defended the right to freedom of speech is denied the right to freedom of speech, did he fight for nothing?

* Is Larry Kudlow the Armstrong Williams for labor?

* GOP tips for gangbangers?

* Who Would Jesus Sue To Institute a Theocracy?

* Another less than major conflict?

Posted by kerry at 08:08 AM | Comments (0)

Issue Timing




Isn't it fascinating how the negative impact of a monogamous relationship between two same sex individuals only impacts the traditional family on even numbered years?

Posted by kerry at 07:33 AM | Comments (0)

Just Curious



When was the last time an atheist started a major war?


Posted by kerry at 02:18 AM | Comments (1)

July 07, 2006

No, really... which is it?

Mexing Missages Much?

From within the same article.

NEW YORK - Authorities have disrupted foreign terrorists plotting to attack the transportation tunnels running beneath the Hudson River between New York and New Jersey, the FBI announced Friday. "For most of the year, we have been focusing on a group of al-Qaida followers who have targeted the Hudson River tubes," FBI Assistant Director Mark J. Mershon said Friday. "We believe we intercepted this group early in their plotting and, in fact, the plan has largely been disrupted."

Be Afraid.

A U.S. counterterrorism official said Friday that investigators had found no evidence that the Holland Tunnel was part of the plot. The New York Daily News had reported Friday that the plotters wanted to blow up the tunnel, the southernmost link between Manhattan and New Jersey, in the hopes of flooding New York's financial district.

In its statement, Homeland Security and the FBI said, the investigation was ongoing.

"We know al-Qaida continues to have an interest in attacking the United States," it added. "At this point in time, there is no specific or credible information that al-Qaida is planning an attack on U.S. soil."

Or not.

Now, when you switch on Scarbohannithews this evening, which of these two diametrically opposed pieces of information will you be hearing about tonight?

Posted by kerry at 09:27 AM | Comments (1)

Quickies at a snail's pace

* Bush does Bono, fans weep.

* Texas is heating up for a catfight.

* Absolute corruption incarcerates absolutely.

* Making a windmill out of the corpses of our founding fathers.

* Spending money overseas so we don't have to spend it at home?

* Bush is flat losing his base.

* Whoopsie. S'ok though, history uses rose colored glasses and the textbooks are written in Texas.

* Nuts, now with extra crunchy wings.

* Ironic. All along, most of us thought Ann Coulter was making shit up. No idea she was stealing most of it.

* Did you know, Joe Lieberman doesn't think it's healthy for the nation to disagree with him on Iraq? Fine, we'll stick to the abortion debate to save the life of the mother then.

Posted by kerry at 04:38 AM | Comments (0)

QOTD - Saying it's so don't make it so.

"It's a debate, actually, that I'm in the process of solving by advancing new technologies, burning coal cleanly in electric plants, or promoting hydrogen-powered automobiles, or advancing ethanol as an alternative to gasoline," he said.


When the debate exists exclusively in one's head... it's not really a debate of merit. Solving normally involves solid solutions or at least tangible plans of action, we've seen neither.

Posted by kerry at 03:57 AM | Comments (0)

Diplomatic Ostrich

After dismissing groundwork laid with North Korea by the previous administration and flat refusing to communicate or negotiate with the only country in the axis of evil that has nukes over the last 6 years, Bush wonders why we don't know what they're up to...

"It's hard for me to tell you what's on his mind. He lives in a very closed society," marked by concentration camps and starving people, Bush said.

"What we don't know is his intentions," Bush said.

Well yeah, dumb shit... your administration chose to ignore him and attack the one country that didn't have nuclear technology of some sort.



The rocket -- as I say, I'm not exactly sure what the azimuth was of the rocket. We've got our people still analyzing that. But, for example, we didn't -- we don't know what was on the rocket, we don't know where the rocket was headed. It would have been helpful, of course, had he said, here's what we're going to do, here's our intentions, here's what -- we want to work with you, we want to explain it. Who knows -- send a satellite -- who knows what his intention was.

Megalomaniacal dictators who've been summarily ignored and dismissed, historically don't usually ring up other foreign leaders with minute details of their military tests.

We elected a buffoon.

Posted by kerry at 03:44 AM | Comments (1)

July 06, 2006

Gittin'er Dun

Laura says I'm gettin' a present tonight... now, I never can remember; is it one in the pink... naaaah, two in the pink and one in the... uh, anyone? Damn!



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Posted by kerry at 08:26 AM | Comments (0)

Flypaper Theory



BAGHDAD, Iraq - The Iraqi government's list of the 41 most wanted fugitives suggests that former members of Saddam Hussein's regime form the backbone of the insurgency despite attention paid to the role of religious extremists such as al-Qaida in Iraq.

The list, released last weekend, includes at least 21 former regime figures, among them Saddam's chief lieutenant, his wife, eldest daughter, two nephews and a cousin — allegedly financiers of the insurgency.

Only five of the 41 names are clearly identified as members of al-Qaida's local branch.

That reinforces the impression shared by a number of analysts that ex-Baath party members and former regime figures still play a key role in the insurgency.

Waitaminute... I thought the insurgents were all foreign fighters imported to play their pivotal role in the "Global War on Terror" Act II? We can't be having this sort of propaganda released to the voters. We'll run the risk of having these evilists portrayed as patriotic loyalists... Red Dawn's Wolverines, if you will. The 'fight them over there' rhetoric will cease to have meaning if they've always been 'over there'. Hone the message folks, if we're still fighting Iraqis in Iraq, the mission's not been accomplished and stateside elections can't be won on empty platitudes alone. The voters need to fear something.

Posted by kerry at 02:53 AM | Comments (0)

Happy Birthday... Mr. President.

What to get the leader of the free world who has almost everything? How about a shopping extravaganza in Oz. The Emerald City where all your hopes and dreams can come true?

How about a brain?

George W. Bush, as seen from the point of view of CIA and FBI leaders and agents in the trenches, is not a pretty sight. His methods focus on the operational and his micromanaging - however sensibly and understandably motivated - disrupted anti-terror initiatives. Cheney, in this view, ruled.

Bush, challenged from the start trying to understand the complex patois of Cheney and Rumsfeld, his father's rivals and contemporaries, was inexperienced and ill-suited by nature to take on the two bureaucratic masters who ran roughshod over the president. Bush himself is impatient, favors face-to-face readings of someone's "heart" to careful preparation through briefing papers. He's intuitive and impatient, and that caused abundant problems in the terror war.



Maybe a heart?

So here is an issue for President Bush to tackle head on, perhaps after November when he has nothing to lose: deny the authority of federal judges to do all the things that they do; issue executive orders overruling judicial orders; convene a meeting of the National Conference of Governors to decide what they, as chief executives, can do to curtail the power of judges and try to reach a consensus on a proposed constitutional amendment to be introduced into the state legislatures to limit and define the power of all courts.

The American people are fed up with judges running their lives. Leftist propaganda and re-writing of history has created a myth of federal judges and the Supreme Court has been a great boon to our freedoms and a responsible organ of government. In fact, the whole federal judiciary is a failure and needs to be reigned in and reformed. Mr. President, throw down the gauntlet and begin the battle to reclaim government of the people, by the people and for the people.



Possibly some courage?

July 5 (Bloomberg) -- President George W. Bush won't allow the U.S. to be drawn into direct talks with North Korea as a result of the communist nation's missile firings, his spokesman said, as other leaders urged a united response to the launches and the United Nations prepared to weigh in.

``This is not a U.S.-North Korea issue and we are not going to permit the leader of North Korea to transform it into that,'' Bush's spokesman, Tony Snow, said in Washington. The leaders of Japan, China, South Korea and Russia joined the U.S. in condemning the test-firings, he said.



Nah, what he really wants is a pair of shiny red shoes and a ticket back to Crawford... because there truly is, No Place Like Home.


Posted by kerry at 02:28 AM | Comments (0)

July 05, 2006

Cutbacks

Shrinking "specific" pieces of government to their appropriately drownable size.

WASHINGTON -- The CIA has disbanded a secret unit that for a decade had the mission of hunting Osama bin Laden and his top lieutenants, intelligence officials said Monday.

The terrorist tracking unit, known inside the spy agency as "Alec station," was closed down late last year and its analysts reassigned to other offices within the CIA's Counterterrorist Center, the officials said.

The decision is a milestone of sorts for the agency, which created the unit before bin Laden became a household name. It bolstered its ranks after the Sept. 11 attacks, when President Bush pledged to bring bin Laden to justice "dead or alive."

The realignment reflects a view that Al Qaeda is no longer as hierarchical as it once was, intelligence officials said, as well as growing concern about Al Qaeda-inspired groups that have begun carrying out attacks independent of bin Laden and his top deputy, Ayman al-Zawahiri.

Can we follow every one of Bush's references to 9/11 with this insignificant detail?

In an extraordinary letter of protest, representatives for 10,000 U.S. Environmental Protection Agency scientists are asking Congress to stop the Bush administration from closing the agency's network of technical research libraries. The EPA scientists, representing more than half of the total agency workforce, contend thousands of scientific studies are being put out of reach, hindering emergency preparedness, anti-pollution enforcement and long-term research, according to the letter released today by Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility (PEER).

In his proposed budget for FY 2007, President Bush deleted $2 million of support for EPA's libraries, amounting to 80% of the agency's total budget for libraries. Without waiting for Congress to act, EPA has begun shuttering libraries, closing access to collections and reassigning staff. The letter notes that "EPA library services are [now] greatly reduced or no longer available to the general public" in agency regional offices serving 19 states.

Yeah, who needs research when the true measure of investigation, is Bush's sense that he's right. (see: WTC fallout)

Posted by kerry at 05:18 AM | Comments (1)

Clever

Even in death, Kenny-Boy's able to avoid consequences.

Kenneth Lay, founder and vilified former chairman of scandal-ridden Enron Corp., died of a heart attack Wednesday morning. He was 64.

Anyone want to wager on whether Bush speaks at the funeral?

Posted by kerry at 05:07 AM | Comments (0)

July 03, 2006

...and may the best man win.

Boomhauer from "King of the Hill"

Yeah man, I tell ya what, man. That dang ol' Internet, man. You just go on there and point and click. Talk about W-W-dot-W-com. An' lotsa nekkid chicks on there, man. Click Click Click Click Click. It's real easy, man.




Ted Stevens, King on a different hill.

I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?

Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially.

(...)

They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck.

It's a series of tubes.

And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.

Someone, anyone... please send a tutorial on packet transfer protocols and a broadband wireless card over to Ted's office, stat! While you're at it, ask him why, if the government's so worried about impacted data tubes, all that dark fiber left over from the late '90s tech boom is still, well... dark.

Posted by kerry at 06:44 AM | Comments (0)

Idea Factory

ourhero.jpg

Nothing says "Red Blooded 'Merikin" like a manufactured war. Random, yet meaningless terror alerts that re-lull the nation into a sense of complacency. The ability to slowly turn up the heat on the civil rights crab boil. Declaring individuals with critical thought, enemies of the state and encouraging citizens to act accordingly. Draining the nation's coffers dry on military action while providing a corporate welfare state is the apex of patriotism. Are you truly doing all you can this red white and blue season to ensure the safety of the nation? If not, there's a border building fence crew who'd love to have you.

Now run out there and celebrate your independence from an authoritarian state.

oh yeah, by the way... fireworks are illegal.

Posted by kerry at 02:38 AM | Comments (4)