100 monkeys typing.

Gotcha Journalism

"Buttocks unremarkable except for some very light tan freckling."

Bail Bitch

Someone mentioned Bailout, John McCain had a Vietnam flashback, hit eject on his campaign and pulled the ripcord on his parachute.

Now THAT, is leadership.

Palin's still off using Bush's talking points and speaking skills coach.

Putting America at the Top of the To Do List

Non-Nuptial Violations

John McCain, the in-touch man of the people representative vying for leader of the free world on the subject of an economy on the brink of collapse

"Our economy, I think, is still -- the fundamentals of our economy are strong, but these are very, very difficult times,'' McCain said. "I promise you, we will never put America in this position again. We will clean up Wall Street."

The voices in John McCain's head

You've heard of mental depression; this is a mental recession," he said, noting that growth has held up at about 1 percent despite all the publicity over losing jobs to India, China, illegal immigration, housing and credit problems and record oil prices. "We may have a recession; we haven't had one yet."

"We have sort of become a nation of whiners," he said. "You just hear this constant whining, complaining about a loss of competitiveness, America in decline" despite a major export boom that is the primary reason that growth continues in the economy, he said.

John McCain's straight talk express

"The issue of economics is not something I’ve understood as well as I should,” McCain said in December 2007. “I’ve got Greenspan’s book.”

(...)

And here's what he told the Wall Street Journal's Stephen Moore in 2005: “I’m going to be honest: I know a lot less about economics than I do about military and foreign policy issues. I still need to be educated.”

John McCain imitates Brave Sir Robin and scampers off.

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Republican presidential candidate John McCain said on Wednesday he will break off from campaigning to help on a Wall Street rescue plan and asked that a Friday night debate with Democratic rival Barack Obama be postponed

(...)

"If we do not, credit will dry up, with devastating consequences for our economy. People will no longer be able to buy homes and their life savings will be at stake. Businesses will not have enough money to pay their employees. If we do not act, ever corner of our country will be impacted. We cannot allow this to happen," he said.

Presidenting is hard, as Bush has told us ad nauseum... imagine what all John the BaptistPresident will suspend in time of international crisis.

Can't Touch This

But, I'm ABOVE the law now... and so is my husband!

Todd Palin, the husband of vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, will not heed a subpoena to appear before an Alaska legislative committee Friday morning to testify about his role in Troopergate.

(...)

Moreover, because his spouse is her party's nominee for vice president of the United States, his scheduling obligations over the next two months will make it virtually impossible for him to prepare for and present the testimony called for in the Subpoena at the specified location during that time period," Van Flein's letter says.

Grow a Set!

Would someone, anyone, from the media ask either or both candidates from the McCain/Palin sideshow how in their minds, given the status of the surge benchmarks, we're able to declare Mission Accomplished?

Government Benchmarks: 2 of 8 Accomplished

1. Perform constitutional review. Unmet
2. Enact de-Ba’athification reform. Partial
4. Form semi-autonomous regions. Unmet
5. Hold provincial elections. Unmet
6. Address amnesty. Unmet
8. Establish support for Baghdad Security Plan. Met
16. Ensure minority rights in Iraqi legislature. Met
18. Keep Iraqi Security Forces free from partisan interference. Unmet

Security Benchmarks: 1 of 8 Accomplished

7. Disarm militias. Unmet
9. Provide military support in Baghdad. Partial
10. Empower Iraqi Security Forces. Partial
11. Ensure impartial law enforcement. Unmet
12. Establist support for Baghdad Security Plan by Maliki government. Unmet
13. Reduce sectarian violence. Partial
14. Establish neighborhood security in Baghdad. Met
15. Increase independent Iraqi Security Focres. Unmet

Economic Benchmarks: 0 of 2 Accomplished

3. Implement oil legislation. Unmet
17. Distribute Iraqi resources equitably. Partial

If in fact, the surge has not been, but about 10% successful based on the criteria established, are they lying or is this a continuation of the policies of half-truths?

When it's time to change...

Change you can feel	George W Bush	Sarah Palin
Misuse of executive privilege
Use of personal email for Government business
Attacks those who disagree
A voice for the oil industry
Weak governor
Hand-picked by Karl Rove
Believes God chose her/him
No belief in climate change
No foreign policy experience

Fawning is not delusion... I repeat NOT delusion

It's been awhile.. but this quote was irresistable.

As Bush has said, we have to be right 100 percent of the time, the terrorists only have to be right one time. Bush has been right 100 percent of the time for seven years -- so much so that Americans have completely forgotten about the threat of Islamic terrorism.

Forgotten 'cept when it's thrown up as a reason to vote Republican and in fear of our safety.. (see: 2002, 2004, 2006, 2008 GOP Convention, color-coded threat warnings, etc) Bush was right though when he said the Mission was Accomplished... he just forgot to pull out.

Parallels make my head hurt

Governor Palin on the Bush Doctrine.. no, Iraq... no, WTF?

"And we've got to keep an eye on Russia. For Russia to have exerted such pressure in terms of invading a smaller democratic country, unprovoked, is unacceptable," she said.

no, no REALLY!

Isn't the collapse of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the implosion of Lehmann Bros, the mortgage crisis, the national debt and the fact that most of the recent bailouts have been from Singapore, Dubai and other countries we only slightly get along with an issue of National Security?

And the GOP's candidate for change knows fuck-all about the economy and it's our current Achilles heel?

Voice of Reason

Dear GOP,

"The Bible is not my book nor Christianity my profession. I could never give assent to the long, complicated statements of Christian dogma."

- Abraham Lincoln, American president (1809-1865).

Remember this as you laud Lincoln while praising the theocrat you've chosen to be your VP.

Ms. Perception

I was wrong.

Sarah Palin's not on a short leash... she's McCain's foil. She there to be the pit bull out in front throwing mud while hollering sexism in parallel. He NEEDS her. She's an IV bag of glucose to the campaign. Prior to her arrival on the trail McCain couldn't draw a crowd and now he's pulling in masses. If they separate, the desperation will become obvious.

The Maverick of Change is hiding behind a skirt.

it's your community, how will you organize it?

Rudy "bat-shit-crazy" Giuliani asked:

On the other hand, you have a resume from a gifted man with an Ivy League education. He worked as a community organizer. What? He worked -- I said -- I said, OK, OK, maybe this is the first problem on the resume.

He worked as a community organizer. He immersed himself in Chicago machine politics.

and then Sarah "lipstick" Palin said:

I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a "community organizer," except that you have actual responsibilities. I might add that in small towns, we don't quite know what to make of a candidate who lavishes praise on working people when they are listening, and then talks about how bitterly they cling to their religion and guns when those people aren't listening.

Yesterday, the leader of the free world stepped in to clarify...

I appreciate the fact that those here represent the hundreds of thousands of our citizens who answered the call to love a neighbor like we'd like to be loved ourselves. I appreciate the fact that you and others lift up souls, one person at a time. You strengthen the foundation of our democracy, which is the engagement of our people.

(...)

In my first inaugural address, I challenged all Americans to be "citizens, not spectators ... responsible citizens, building communities of service and a nation of character."

(...)

And so to tap into that spirit, I called on every American to spend at least 4,000 hours -- or two years in the course of a lifetime -- to serve our nation through acts of compassion. Some said that's acting -- asking a lot for the country, and they were right -- and they were right. Two years during a lifetime is a lot to give. But the truth of the matter is, citizens who do give realize that they become enriched just like those folks that they're helping.

(...)

We can use your help. There are citizens who say, I need love. Government can pass law, but it cannot put love into somebody's heart. Oftentimes that helps when somebody puts their arm around you and say, how can I help you, brother, or sister? What can I do to make your life better?

Clear enough folks?

Change we suspend belief in

Besides the new "Country First" moniker... the GOP, making up for a lack of creativity and an inability to run on experiences gained (recent history sucks) are now the official Catalysts for Change. What sort of change could they be running on? Which of the last 8 years' policies need to be changed according to those who've held either all or most of the power?

Will they...?

• Restore Habeas Corpus?
  
• Unravel the web of presidential signing statements?
  
• Reverse our position on torture and disassociate quaint from the Geneva Convention?
  
• Bring all the troops home?
  
• Close Guantanamo?
  
• Reign in spending and mismanagment of tax dollars?
  
• Reverse the heavy-handed intrusion into personal privacy?
  
• Begin to understand and combat Global Climate Change?
  
• Cease and desist with the attempt to fully blur the distinction between church and state or institute a tax code for churches who involve themselves in policy?
  
• Acquire a candidate fully aware of the job they're applying for?
  
• Cease corporate welfare?
  
• Redirect the wanton unregulated war funding into healthcare support for all?
  
• Stop viewing laid-off, under-employed, hard-working American tax payers as whiners?
  

Don't rightly recall any of these coming up lately as part of the change policy.

...and shouldn't the campaign making the declarative statement that the media's sexist, cut the mayorgovernor's apron strings and let her strike out on her own? For a pit bull with lipstick they sure are keeping her leashed tighty and penned. Maybe, they've another plan.

(via) “They didn’t seriously consider her until four or five days from the time she was picked, before she was asked, maybe the Thursday or Friday before,” said a Republican close to the campaign. “This was really kind of rushed at the end, because John didn’t get what he wanted. He wanted to do Joe or Ridge.”

You get what you pay for.

WWE: Doppleganger Episode

John McCain v.2008 will now be running against John McCain v.1982-2007.5

And let me just offer an advance warning to the old, big- spending, do-nothing, me-first, country-second crowd: Change is coming.

(APPLAUSE)

I'm not -- I'm not in the habit of breaking my promises to my country, and neither is Governor Palin. And when we tell you we're going to change Washington and stop leaving our country's problems for some unluckier generation to fix, you can count on it.

And we've...

(APPLAUSE)

We've got a record of doing just that, and the strength, experience, judgment, and backbone to keep our word to you.

(APPLAUSE)

You well know I've been called a maverick, someone who... someone who marches to the beat of his own drum. Sometimes it's meant as a compliment; sometimes it's not. What it really means is I understand who I work for. I don't work for a party. I don't work for a special interest. I don't work for myself. I work for you.

(APPLAUSE)

I've fought corruption, and it didn't matter if the culprits were Democrats or Republicans. They violated their public trust, and they had to be held accountable.

You hear that John McCain the Senator? John McCain the candidate is coming for you! When he's done co-opting the Republican-lite version of Obama's 'people-first' message he'll get to work defeating who he thinks he used to maybe be, possibly.

Is this thing on?

Excitement... it's contagious.

Rescue Heros

Drill baby Drill... thank you Rudy for running over and usurping Palin's mini-documentary. Thank you for the jabs, sarcasm and showing us the direction the GOP will be taking going forward with their attacks. Thank you for exploiting 9/11 for both fun and profit. Thank you most of all for being bat.shit.crazy and unapologetic about it.

From your Speech last night.

He — he loves America, as we all do, but he has sacrificed for it as few do.

As a young man, he joined the military. And being a “Top Gun” kind of guy, he became a fighter pilot. He was on a mission over Hanoi when his plane was shot down.

He was tortured in a POW camp, but he refused his captors’ offer of early release, because this is a man who believes in serving a cause greater than self-interest, and that cause is the United States of America. America comes first.

He has proved his commitment with his blood. He came home a national hero. He had earned a life of peace and quiet, but he was called to public service again, running for Congress, and then the United States Senate, as a proud foot soldier in the Reagan revolution.

True enough, according to the definition, "A man of distinguished valor or enterprise in danger, or fortitude in suffering", John McCain's actions as a POW were heroic. However, heroism isn't infinite nor is is irrevocable. After supporting the current administration's penchant for waterboarding et al and their view that the Geneva Convention is quaint, he's no longer a war hero, but a waterboy.

Sis Boom Bah!

Laura Bush, on message and appropriately botoxed... wows the crowd with...

(APPLAUSE)

George is using American's influence to lift up lives around the world. Millions of children are protected from malaria by mosquito nets the American people provide.

LAURA BUSH: In Afghanistan and Iraq, 50 million people are now living in freedom.

(APPLAUSE)

And let's not forget President Bush has kept the American people safe.

Mosquito nets for some and depleted uranium for others. As for the Iraq/Afghanistan note... does she count the refugees in Syria, Iran, Lebanon and those displaced internally within the country?

Palin Comparison

Best Choice Offered.

• Sacrificed soul for results.
  
• Vetting not required.
  
• Instigates voices of reason from unique sources.
  
• God's little messenger.
  

Because flip-flopping in 2008 is now a good thing.